Thanks Dave, that's very kind of you.
You poor single guys have it rough, don't you (handing over a tissue)? There, there...be strong.
Dont't worry about me....it would take a lot to break me!
((hugs))
LD
Totally happy in your marriage?
by Lost Diamond 63 Replies latest social family
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seven006
I pour my guts out to you and all you do is hand me a damn tissue? You are such a woman!
I'm not wasting any more of my good sympathy stuff on you. A tissue.........damn, I miss the 80's.Dave
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gumby
Now I am sure of it!......Dave definately smokes the GOOD stuff!
I thought he had Plum to ease his pain.......I was wrong!
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BobsGirl
I thank God every day for my husband. He is gentle, kind and compassionate. He makes me laugh and makes me crazy. He is my best friend and my sweet baby's DaDa. I love him with all my heart and hope desperately that we will have many, many more years together.
And I wish he could remember where the hell he puts his crap! I feel like I spend my whole life searching for his shi*...... uhhum.
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Sunnygal41
LD, I was married in the borg for twenty years. I was very very unhappy. I have been divorced for 3 years now and got to be happy single. Now I am living with someone who I have been with for over a year and we are very happy, although we have our problems. What makes it great between us is that there is a natural "connection", without having to work at it, we both seem to be able to say and do the right things that make each other content and easy to get along with. However, I do think that there are some people who are happier single, for whatever reasons. Hope that helps!
Terri
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Sunnygal41
After reading everyone else's I'd like to share a couple of other things......my guy called me up today at work, "just to tell you I love you". We call each other all the time, just to say hi and check on how each other's days are going. He told me the other night I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever known, and he's been with alot of them. He's lived a hard life of drugs abuse and alcohol, but he said the first time he saw me at a twelve step meeting with a feather in my hair (I'm part native american) he fell for me! He says I'm super intelligent, sexy and funny and loves my eyes the most. He is wonderful, crazy and funny, with a wonderful sense of humor. Also very very intelligent. We fight and laugh and see who makes the louder noise with our body functions....he gets squeamish sometimes about "that lady stuff, keep it to yourself, men don't want to know what women do in the bathroom!" but he's coming around. He was a bachelor for 41 years, and he says he's grown as a man more in the year we've been together than ever in his life....ladies how can you NOT love a man who says those charming things? Then, there are days when I tell him he is absolutely full of shit and he laughs and we talk about what's bothering him. He's such a gift to me after my first marriage where we didn't click at all. I love him.
TErri
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Kingpawn
No.
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tranquility
TOTALLY happy in my marriage? mmm let me think. The first year was hard. I had a hard time being the "submissive wife". The next several were good and now I am blissfully happy. Only time will tell what the future brings.
Edited by - tranquility on 10 October 2002 8:43:10
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troucul
Lost, why are you handing 'poor single guys' tissues? Normally there's a stockpile by the nightstand anyway...ROFL....(get it?)
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SEAKEN2001
How many of you are totally, incredibly happy in your marriage? How many of you feel that your spouse is your absolute soul mate and you couldn't even imagine your being married somebody else?
Talking with the women at work, I'm surprised at how many are not totally happy. One woman commented on how more men are happier being married that woman are. But, on the other hand I have heard people say how happy they are in their marriages. I like to hear that they are happy because that gives me some hope that there are still some decent people out there.
I still believe that there are those that just were not meant to be married and are perfectly happy being single and not committed....
What are your thoughts?
Lost, I think this is a good topic so please don't take offense at what I'm about to say. I'm just sharing my thoughts, as you asked.
I don't agree with your idea that being happily married makes one a "decent" person and being unhappy somehow puts one in some other catagory, presumably un-decent. Marriage is a two person relationship and a person could be unhappy with the marriage while still being decent. I'm sure you realize this. But maybe you are expecting too much from marriage. Why must it be 'total happiness' or 'incredible happiness' before it's a good marriage or before we can call either or both of the parties decent. Are you intimating that divorce is always an indication that the involved parties are less than decent? Neither of the extremes (total happiness or divorce) really tells us a lot about a persons decency. Life is really much more complex than you want to make it.
You may or may not find your 'soul-mate'. You may think you've found nirvana for awhile but then later discover that you have changed and you don't like the arrangement anymore, or the guy may turn out to be a fake, not worth fighting for. Any number of things could happen. Perhaps this is why some people avoid marriage. Maybe they don't want to face the risk of being hurt or fooled. I don't know why the women at work aren't happy. But that really means nothing. And neither do these experiences of those who are very happy. Are you going to choose your next mate according to some statistic? There are no guarantees.
I think the reason that some are not happy is because they are expecting too much. They equate being in love and romanticism as being happy. When they experience the real things that marriage brings they are dissappointed and fail to adjust their thinking. What if some of these husbands weren't wonderful and never helped in the kitchen? Would these wives be as happy with their marriages. Probably not. And these husbands probably realize that and work hard to please their mates. But there are others who are equally pleased to each go their own way and don't pine away all day until they can be together with their mate. My point is that happiness in marriage is a state of mind and it's up to each of us to adjust our own thinking so that we can be happy. Sometimes it just is not possible due to forces beyond our abilities. Sometimes it takes more than one try to learn how to get it together.
Now, to answer your question as to whether I am happily married or not. (Just because I am critical of the statistical approach doesn't mean I don't like to share [g])
I have been happily married for over 15 years. For the first thirteen years I was brain-dead and deluded so I don't know if that should count. But I was extremely happy. Now that I have awoke to the reality of things I am not as happy but I am wiser and less stupid. I know I have it good and will not screw that up just to pursue some fantasy of a fairy-tale marriage where my wife just adores me and thinks I am so smart and brags about me to the girls at work. I am content to wait for my wife to catch up and stop being so stupid. There are times when I am very pissed off at her for continuing in this nonsense she calls "the truth". But's that's mostly my problem and I am learning to handle it better. I do not want to split up because I know we both love one another. She does love me. She's just still under the spell. It is a hard time and I am very understanding of her ideas and actions since I was once under the same spell. But it does make for a less than happy marriage at this time. It not either one of our fault. I am hopeful that we will get through it and some day be able to say that we once again are extremely happy. But no matter what happens we are both decent people.
Sean