by trybalance 121 Replies latest jw friends
As i said, it varies. Some people need a little, some people need it continuously, for years. Homosexuals act up and demonstrate because they want validation. If society accepted homosex as just another liestyle, they would stop demonstrating. If the wt and wt relations of xjws stopped sidelining/badmouthing/blaming/shunning/lying about, etc etc xjws, the vast majority of them wouldn't be here anymore.
SS
Satan a homosexual chooses a lifestyle that they dont want to het away from. They are happy with that lifestyle. They need validation so they can continue in what makes them happy. Leaving a religion that hurt you and that you did not like takes ajustments also. I know a guy that is a homosexual. He went through professional therapy and got his validation from within. He is now well adjusted. That is what I am trying to say. To me anyway, this fueling ans dwelling on this thing never gets you validated or adjusted. And if you left the witnesses why would you go on being so concerned about what their thoughts were about a former witness. Why would you keep dwelling on all that? Hell I don't keep myself busy worrying about what people I dont hang with say about me. I have relatives that cant stand me. So be it. I certainly don't need validation that they are wrong about me. that is just their opinion. Like I said this is just hard for me to grasp. You hurt. I can understand that. Evil things happened. I can understand that. But going over and over this thing and keeping up with what these people are doing after you have left? Why? Why keep getting yourselves pissed off? It kind of makes me think about the guy that stalks his ex wife. Always thinking about who shes going to bed with and so forth. Why?
You asked a pretty loaded question when I actually did go back. Why not just move on. get over it. Deal with it. Why the anger. Well some of us are so stupid that we love our brainwashed family enough to learn about how mind control works. We actually read all the history about this group. And decide that we will not be silentconspirators. We have been wronged. Amazing how only jw's and their associates don't wish to see that. I do know about supporting this jw group as a non memeber. I was one.(a non member supporter) Unil I decided to look beyond what is allowed by the group. I doubt that you will do that as you already seem to have your answers. You seem to imply I am weak for being here. As this is post #3 I must be drowning in my own pity. You said why be unhappy. Why do you assume that I am? As a matter of fact I am quite happy. Truly I have a blessed life. I have gotten nothing but praise for explaining the jw's to people that otherwise would have to depend on door knockers like um well I won't go there. At the door the history is not reality. But I truly do not think that you are looking for reality. You want to dismiss anything and everything as "angery" people who can not move on. I am not angery but I do not like jw's as a body because they lie and can not be trusted. They work to break up families and if people who have no experince with them or are not prepared then they get screwed. You may not but I did and I am not the only one. If I had understood them better I could have avoided it. I would have avoided them.
I have explained about as much as i can. If you are able to hang around for a few weeks, maybe you can satisfy all of your why's for yourself.
SS
So, you understand the validation issue. IMO, that is the main reason. This board is a continuation of therapy for many. Maybe some of us are stuck in a therapy loop, like others continue to go to psychotherapists for years. This board is also a good place to share information, news and experiences.
SS
Edited by - saintsatan on 14 October 2002 4:18:42
Trybalance
Tiz simple.
Birds of a feather flock together.
We all have one thing in common.
Humans are social creatures.
It's only natural to want to keep in touch with those who you have come to know, that have gone through the same things.
We are unique in that, although we are from differant parts of the earth, we can totally understand each other - empathise.
Trybalance ... It's trying balance that's brought many of us out of the WTBTS.
qwerty.
Hi trybalance, welcome to the board. You are having trouble understanding some of the folks here and their "attitudes".I too,find it difficult to know how some feel, but only because even though I was a witness for many years, I didn't experience the same kind of hurt and trauma that many others did. None of my blood relatives were ever involved with the witnesses, so when I chose to leave the organization, I didn't have to say goodbye to anyone, not knowing whether I'd ever see or hear from them again; many in the WBTS had to endure that pain. Both my wife and I left together, so there was no loss in that regard either. Not so for thousands of others. Our daughter and her husband both ceased their involvement with the Watchtower, ensuring our grandkids would still have us in their lives in a wonderfully normal way. Other JW's aren't so fortunate. The blood issue was never an issue for me personally, as I never believed in using blood for transfusing even before I became a witness, however if anybody close to me died as a result of the imposed religious practice of transfusion refusal, I might harbour different feelings. Although I'd heard talk of child molestation when I was an elder, I was never aware of any actual cases, so I continued serving in the congregation, blissfully thinking that matters were being handled properly and with the children's best interests of primary importance, which is precisely what the WBTS wants everyone to think. Many others were and still are victims; were directly involved with such cases and have seen the cruel and unforgiving results or are just very angry that an organization that claims to represent a loving God can practise such a callous, unloving attitude towards it's most vulnerable and precious members. There are many other reasons why people have such a spiteful attitude towards this organization, and if you continue to peruse this site, you will no doubt learn of many of them. You and I may never understand these feelings, but that's because we haven't and may never lose as much as these many others. At least try to be compassionate and hope that words you share may help in their healing.
CIAO4NIAO!!
alfie
Iwasonceyoung- I do not recall calling anyone weak. I have asked a lot of why's based on the way I read things. It seems easy to get defensive and take things personal. I meant nothing of the sort. as I said earlier I say what I mean and mean what I say. When I read what you just wrote I can see your pain and anger. Again my question is why do you dwell on it? Why do you seemingly have a need to keep fueling this? I am not dissagreeing that these things happened. I am not saying that you were not hurt. I am onyl trying to find out why anyone would want to keep fueling pain. That is the part I dont get. I in no way think that any of this was easy on anyone nor am I saying that any of you guys are unhappy. I can only speak from a personal reference point. It is hard for me to see happiness in most of what I have seen here. It seems to me to just keep bringing up ugly things that you cannot change has no good value.. Why would you want to keep dwelling on it? If it is validation How do you get validation and healing from dwelling on the pain and the wrong that you have seen?
Tryb
You must realise that everyone is different than you. For instance, i would say that the people on this board are not as sanguine as you are. They are also more fragile than you are.
SS
try-I am laughing out loud. One of two things here. If you are real then you will hear this. If your as I am begining to see and that is jaded to others that need help I am singing to a bag of jellybeans. I can not get back what false doctrine has taken from me. Time with my loved ones. That is gone. I accept that. In fact I need them not. All I need in my life I have. Right Now. But, not everyone is as lucky as me. I think of all the children and a 50 year old who leaves the jehovah Witnesses is a child is quite lost. Not all, that is true, but for those that are alone or lost I will be there. And when the elders and other people try to screw with them and there is just no nice way to put it...Screw with them I will be there. Here,,,in books...All around them. I will be support. The WTBS is not the cure to all problems but the ex's that I meet, they have a hard time. They sometimes rant and rave, cry. They truly belive they have betrayed their god. Its all good; I care. Real love is stronger than a false god. (How dumb that sounds I know) How much experince do you have with domestic violence? What do you think of that? This "why" you ask is like that these people are abused. What do you know of A.A. combine the two and now you are closer. What do you know of being ruined by religion? If you understand any of this you will being just begin to see. Understand...That is harder. Be willing to help. Everyday I wonder if the people leaving really care that I am willing to help them. I just offer it. I have personally known people who leave there husbands or parents with nothing but the clothes on thier back. One person only had her pajamas but she was not going to wait for her father to smack her in the face again. Abuse is everywhere but if you go against the organization it is a guaruntee.
