by trybalance 121 Replies latest jw friends
Trybalance,
in a lot of ways I agree with you. I don't think there is a totally rational answer to your questions.
It maybe that most of us would be better off leaving all the JW stuff behind, but its damn hard to do that. Its a bit like an addiction....have you ever asked a smoker why they don't give up cigarettes?
Pope
Pope I like your hat. I smoke. I don't quit because I like to smoke. If the doctor told me that I had cancer and have to quit smoking I would quit.Might not be easy for me but I think I would give it a honest try. But I do enjoy the smoke.
I hope that I answered all of your questions. I thank you for the time you took to try and answer mine. I still have to say though that I don't care for all the attitude and anger stuff. But thank you all anyway.
Maybe we are like the vietnam vets. Some of them just got on w their lives. Some feel the need to get together and rehash stuff. Many xjw's just go on w their lives. The ones you see here have a need to keep rehashing, for whatever reasons.
SS
TryBalance said:
If the church don't report the child sex thing? Well I blame the parent not the church.
Well, that may seem to be a reasonable answer.
What about this scenario:
A little 8 year old girl is being molested by her father (let's say the mother has died, or the mother is also abusive).
The little girl goes to the only adults she knows that could help her out, the Elders, and tells them about the rape that is going on at her home.
They then ask her if she has 2 Eye-Witnesses to the Rape.
She, of course, says no.
The Elders then tell the little girl that they cannot do ANYTHING because she did not have the 2 Eye-Witnesses. They cannot Expel him and they cannot call the Police.
They tell the girl that her father is INNOCENT and that if she tells anyone about the Rape and Abuse, that she will most likely be Expelled for "Slandering an Innocent Man".
They also tell her that if she goes to the Police, God will be upset with her for "Bringing Reproach on the Congregation".
They tell the girl to go back home and "pray more" and to "wait on Jehovah" to fix the problem.
Now, can you still tell me you don't place the blame on the Church for not Reporting to the Police?
You said:
Any ugly things that happened in my life I always wanted to move on and get happy. Here it seems that everyone wants to keep eating away at this stuff and keep each other fueled up over it. Just seems like a waste to me and it is rather ugly you got to admit. If you got out of something you hated so much why keep thriving on it? Why the attitude?
Umm, I'm trying to be nice but it seems that you aren't trying to understand at all!
Look, you say you could get over losing your wife if you had to. Well guess what? Others can not dismiss there families so easily. I have lost my entire family to a misguided loyalty to a "religion". If you cannot understand "my attitude" then you have no heart. I cried when my mother told me that she'd no longer invite me nor my husband over because the JW's tell her not to; and don't assume that my mother is a terrible person. She has been brainwashed into thinking that this is how God wants things. And unfortunately she's not the only one. Almost everyone on this site and thousands around the world have been shunned by their parents and friends.
Feel like I am standing in front of a bunch of reporters trying to get back inside the building and they keep asking another question. The story youo just told about the paents who did not report the abuse by the father. Well like I said the mom should have reported it. If she put the church ahead of the childs welfare she is responsible. It is starting to get clearer for me though, thanks to your answers and questions. I got to say though that it still falls back on the family. Just because a church says I will go to hell if I don't drink this poisened koolaid don't mean that I am going to drink it. So if the parent does something stupid just because a preacher said it was the right thing to do that makes the parent wrong. That is like saying that the boy killed his mother because he watched a steven king movie.
Anyway stinkypants I never said it would be easy to get over it. I just would'nt keep sitting around looking at old pictures and home movies trying to keep myself upset over the loss. Hell I would never get over it that way. That would be like me saying that I enjoyed the pain so I will keep reminding myself about all the ugly stuff everyday. Just don't feel right to me.
LOL trybalance, you must not love your parents then if you think that not looking at their photo will allow you to forget them.
Anyway, I don't think you will ever understand unless you've been there as we have.
Have a good night
Shari
Ok I thank you all again for answering from your hearts. I was a bit shy to write my feelings. I will leave by saying that it only took about 30 minutes for people to start trying to judge my heart here. Don't know if thats a record or not. I love my family and would be devestated to loose any of them to anything. But by no means would I keep tormenting myself for the remainder of my life if they chose to exclude me from the family. They would always be near to my heart but as I feel about my son if I know that he is doing well and is happy I don't have to see him all the time. My love for my family is not selfish. If they choose not to want me around that is theri choice. I only want them to be happy. If being a witness makes them happy good for them. If they dont talk to me that would be something we all would have to live with. But if they are happy with that then I would learn how to get happy with it and not let it eat me alive.
And I also would not blame the religion because my family chose the religion the religion did not choose them. They made up their minds as my wife did and that was her choice. I would not spend my time going on and on about a religion when it was her choice. Just like the child sex thing the parent made the choice. The religion may have given bad advise but the parent was the responsible party.
Edited by - trybalance on 14 October 2002 2:35:51
Try,
you have a nice refreshing attitude, it would be nice if you called in on us from time to time.
Pope
PS It IS a pretty cool hat isn't it!!