My husband & I were loners pretty much anyway.....so now it's not much different. Lol - I talk a lot, but I talk a lot to just about anyone. It's a gift, thank you.
But how to view people & realize how they view me? Now that's a trick. Our outlook was so eschewed - hard to figure out other than surface stuff.
I think we, as xjw's, tend to catagorize some people too much. However, some of us are learning to "live and let live" a little easier.
I think that's one reason I enjoy taking college classes. Nobody knows you, nobody cares, comments are taken on an equal basis (for the most part) and there's incognito in the group. No particular reason to be overly social. I always thought that was cool. Of course, I've always taken classes as a jw (or xjw). Perhaps that's the reason?
Well, I don't really know any of you outside of this board. I've never met, probably never will. I may value the words of some of you much more than others. Other than that, I don't really have any connection. I guess that would mean I still have that whole "use'em and lose'em" mentality but I'm not sure because I never really had an emotional attachment to anyone to begin with.
As for real life, if friends come and go in life it doesn't really bother me. If I can get some good times with someone that I no longer hang around with then that doesn't mean that I dislike them. It just means that I no longer spend time with them. Could be because we've grown apart or it could just mean that we don't really talk anymore. That may be caused by the whole JW experience because you have to learn to just trust in yourself or it could just be because other people just get on my nerves. Who knows...............
Satan, What?!?!? You're a midget?!?!!? Would you mind painting yourself green and wearing a green outfit. Its been a dream of mine for years to have a green midget to hang out in my living room and operate my stereo system for me. Nothing sexual at all, just change the channels and stuff. My love of midgets is pure and honest. I am being dead serious too. There are very few things in this life that would make me happier than having a green midget to run all my electronic stuff for me. People would come over to watch movies (happens a lot, I've got a cool entertainment center) and see the midget. Of course they'd wonder why the hell there's a green midget in my living room and I could just casually say "Oh him, that's just the midget" before having them start the movie.
If anyone else knows a midget (or if you are one) who wouldn't mind being totaly green and is good with electronics have them contact me.
It has taken years to trust people and allow simple comraderie to establish itself. Faking it is easy, the real thing is much more difficult. Recently, a childhood friend stopped by my office. We haven't seen each other in 22 years. We were best friends as kids.
His dad was the elder book study conductor at our house. It took about 3 minutes of nicities to start talking about the effects of the WT on our lives. The first thing we talked about was how we had to guess at what was normal about things that other people just take for granted.
His solution was to have kids and try to reverse the effects for future generations. BTW, his Dad still calls and reminds him how he is responsible for the deaths of his children by refusing to go to the KH.
Relationships are the first thing the WT destroys in individuals and families. If we didn't get imprinted with healthy ones as kids .....we'll probably spend the rest of our lives guessing a bit.
The devil confesses and jesus makes fun of him.. humfff. I think you've been watching too much wizard of oz there, jesus. Next you'll be wanting fairies and elves and things. The dark side calleth you, my friend.
Geez, jesus. I'm over 6 feet tall, so i would likely distract your friends. Also, they probably wouldn't like my esoteric music.
SS
Edited by - saintsatan on 20 October 2002 19:44:31
I didn't really have many dub friends . I did like, and still do like some of the people who are dubs, just not as "friends". I just think of the ones I do like as being in the "those are nice people" catagory.
I tell people that I am an ex-JW, however I wait until we have a good relationship going first
I took this approach once with a man I was dating. When I finally told him I was an ex-jw, his immediate reaction was: "You belonged to a cult and lied to me all this time! How could you hide something like that and expect me to trust you not to lie about other things?"
Jwism is traumatic, and leaves trauma in the wake. Even their god is a traumatic trauma provider, that you have to stay on the right side of, or else. It's not a healthy sort of thing.
The difference seems to be that before jwism dishes out the trauma, they go to substantial effort to appear 'nice', so when it comes you aren't ready.
You don't need to be an ex-jw to have received the benefit of "jw love" for your improved faith in society. Our jw experience was similar - we were approached by them over an important matter, to furnish us their assurance that their intentions were good (gee, aren't they nice sort of christian people) - that was the setup - then they proceeded to do evil, congratulate themselves for such, and take pleasure in it.
The dog returns to its vomit - yes dubs, there's your meaning - it's your sin - and you lapped it up.
Simon; We have to face the facts. A normal person would not spend a Sunday afternoon logging on to an exJW website and reading comments from people who have never learned that it is ok to love yourself so you can love your fellow man as you love yourself.
In fact a normal person would be riding a bike with a bike club, watching a Baseball game at a ballpark or on TV. In the fall of the year a normal person would be deer hunting, or watching a Football game. Maby a normal person would be planting bulbs for spring flowers. Heck, a normal person may even be making homemake wine, if they could get the grapes.
Simon, a normal person might spend a whole Saturday just watching his or her children play little league Soccer, or spend an entire sunday just making love to to the one you promised to make love to forever.
Yup. Nobody logging on here is normal. But we can be. We just have to start by loving ourselves first....
