Social retards

by Simon 46 Replies latest jw friends

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  Jesus Christ

  Sorry Satan, wasn't trying to make fun of you. Just hoping to finaly have a dream come true. Besides, you and I are the only super natural beings that post here. You know we've got one up on all these silly mortals.

  Also, my love of midgets isn't from Oz. I was talking with a guy I know about a new fancy remote control I got. It does quite a bit of stuff but I'm hoping to upgrade soon (http://www.smarthome.com/1620.html to see what I want). I told him how much I paid for it and his only comment was "Jesus!! For that much you could just hire a midget to come change the channels for you." Some how or another the midget in my mind got painted green and has been there ever since. No fairies, no elves, just one skilled green midget.
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  Satanus

  S'okay, jesus. We go back a long ways. I used to have some green demons, but they were rather smelly and unpredictable. If i see some green elves, i will let you know.

  SS
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  Shakita

  I hesitate posting to this, because I feel a certain guilt at becoming a JW as an adult. Through some of the posts on this board, if you became a JW as an adult, you are sort of looked at sideways.(that's not really sideways is it?, kind of sideways, then up)Oh, well. I think there is a certain animosity towards those who were not "born into it." Like, "How could you in your right mind join this insane cult? You must be really stupid! How could you bring your children up in this so-called religion? Where were your maternal/faternal instincts when you chose to bring your kids up this way?"

  I regret everyday spent raising my kids up to be JW's. So much they missed out on. So much to make up for. I think anyone who has been a JW, for any length of time, must find peace with themselves at some point upon leaving. We all must try to fit into the normal social world again. But, I do feel that those who were brought up in it will find it harder to manage in the "real world" socially. We all have hardships in life that we must bear. But, I know first hand through my own children, (one still in) that every one deals with leaving differently. Some have no trouble fitting in socially with new friends, etc..., and some do not adjust to life as a JW so quickly.

  I don't think time heals all wounds, as they say. Some we will carry on throughout our life. We just try to help others with the pain and hope to make some friends along the way.

  Take care Simon. And, thanks again for the wonderful board.
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  ugg

  i give a whole new meaning to the phrase "social retard"
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  LyinEyes

  Simon, very well thought out post. I totally agree, and find myself wondering what I would be like , if I wasnt raised with the JW mentality. My JW family was so dysfuncitonal , I knew I better not look on the outside to see what "real" folks were like. I just knew I never wanted to be like my parents. Looking back most of the people I admired were some of my "worldly" relative, teachers, and even people I saw on tv. I had limited access to the real world , literally.

  My son, wonders why we spend so much time posting and chatting , about "that same ole JW stuff", he wonders why we just can't get over it. I told him if he had spent his entire life, into adulthood, he would understand. I hope he never fully understands what his dad and I are going thru, like so many here also are going thru. He is lucky, we got out when he was 14 , but he does resent the time there lost. I told him , then he can understand how we feel, we had our entire youth sacrificed for the WT. We are trying so hard, to give him as close to normal teen years as we can, but I know for him, he will have issues , there are some now, but he will realize more as he gets older. I am thankful our youngest will have more of a normal childhood.

  I know I will never be "normal", I will never feel totally as one who was never a JW, I can never go back to being a JW. So I accept to be stuck in this middle ground that only ex JW's understand. For so long I wanted to fit in one catagory or another, but I see it is not all black and white. I guess, grey is a pretty color, and that's ok with me.
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  minimus

  The WORLD is FILLED with social retards. Don't forget this is "by extension", an internet congregation. Anyone can blame it on the Witnesses, and some JW's are social retards. But let's be honest here. People are people. Some exjw's suck. Some are great. Some know how to conduct themselves and others are just spoiled brats......At school, work or at home, there's a type that fits all.
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  Windchaser

  DAKOTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you! I look forward to meeting you one day, too!
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  blondie

  Social retard, hmmmmmmmmmm!

  Well, I don't think there are too many classes in social niceties per se at the KH. Jesus gave us all we need, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Sometimes it ends up being "do it to others before they do it to you."

  I was lucky, I associated with non-JWs even more than JWs socially due to my family dynamics. I like talking to people and they like talking to me (good thing since that is part of my job). I have to agree that being socially backwards is not necessarily an outgrowth of being or having been a JW.

  I think the directive from the WTS to avoid contact with everyone except the 60 to 100 people at the KH gives the average JW permission not to try to understand, empathize, get along with non-JWs. Then at the KH they can label people, weak, immature, bad association saying they have agape love for them, but philia love for those in their exclusive little cliche. It is ironic since those qualities would make people they meet in the ministry more apt to be drawn to them and their message.

  So if you were a social retard (or you think you were) as a JW, there is no excuse to stay one. (This is sermonette 113 brought to you by Blondie, ex-elderette
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  DannyBear

  I think minimus made a very strong point.

  After being out for more than 20yrs. it is apparent to me, that people are people, no matter thier religious upbringing. Oh yes, we ex-jws carry a bigger burden (we keep telling ourselves), but the average John Q Public really has little over us in the area of sociability.

  Think about it. Does the average joe have a background in public speaking? Preparing impromptu public speeches? What about the forced social interactions we had as jw's with 50-100 other's, while attendings 5 meetings or more per week? Most "worldly people"....puke....cough.....had little if any of the constant exsposure we had while practicing jw's.

  In fact I will go even farther, we ex's are more attuned, more able to deal with the stresses of meeting new people than most others.

  Now when it comes to the subject of how good of friends/aquiantances we make. That's whole different story.

  We were schooled in the art of shunning, marking, avoiding inappropriate appearances, watching every word and thought. It was made very easy for us to turn our backs on former friends. This one characteristic is a curse on jw's and most ex's I have come in contact with.

  Hell I have had aquaintenaces on this board, that had expressed affection and even friendship toward me, turn on a dime, for some percieved slight or slip of the tounge. If we can turn away from people we really do not know, ones we have never even pressed skin with, so cavalierly, so starkly hard hearted, is it any wonder why we hear complaints about having no real friends? Or the inablity to retain them?

  Tell me your my friend, well you better prove it. Stick by me, even if I piss you off sometimes. A friend is no fair weather appologist. A friend is someone you can always turn to in times of distress, and expect them to offer you a listening ear, not the backhand of rebuke.

  I have friends, they don't always make me happy, but guess what, who will? We need to relearn how to be a friend. Our jw perception of friendship was distorted, no a better word for it was TWISTED.

  Danny
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  Elsewhere

  To this day I am paranoid about "doing something wrong" that will cause a friend to turn his back on me. It causes me to over compensate to make sure people like me.

  This prevents me for showing my true personality, which in turn causes me to loose friends because I am not being myself.