OMG What have i done! (page 2)

Princess

shytears, please email me. Whatever you do, don't tell the elders or any jw friends.

Rachel

larc

I agree. Don't tell the elders. I will go further. Don't tell anyone, not your best girl friend, not your parents, no one.

If I remember right you are only 16 right? My son will be 16 in January. Right now he hasnt gotten serious with too many girls, that I know of.......lol.... but it would not surprize me, he has told me some things. He is very open with me , not graphic details but he knows he call tell me anything. I personally tell my son to stay away from sexual involment because with it comes alot of responsibility. He is very responsible in alot of ways, but we have only been away from being JW's for a year, so I think in alot of ways he is more naive than alot of boys his age. But if he is telling me the truth of his conduct, he may be more wise than I give him credit for. I also have a neice that is 17 and we talk alot too. For girls , it is so easy for a guy to lead them on, to use it to take advantage of them and leave them all alone. I tell my neice to always use protection, go in with a clear head, no drugs or drinking, and whatever you do, make sure you can live with your choice. If you don't think of these things ahead of time, you could get hurt. I have the talk with my neice and son, they are like brother and sister, have been raised together since they were born, I tell them the same thing over and over. No drugs, use condomns, wear you seat belt, bla bla bla...... they laugh and say ok ok we get it. I don't want them out having sex that young, but I know they will do what they want one way or another and I might never know about it. I told my son about his future plans and how they can be changed with an unplanned pregancy. I can tell you from experience condoms do break and babies have been made........lol...... thank God I was married and not alone to raise a baby I really didnt plan on. So , take some time , go somewhere and gather your thoughts, decide what would happen in the worst case scenerio,,,,,,,, what would you do if this happens or that. Then when you decide you are ready to face your own life decisions, you will have done so with thought.

Hope all well goes for you,,,,,,,, take your time to think things out,,,,,, you don't have to run to the elders........ if you choose to, do it when you are ready.......or not at all. I can tell you that God doesnt hate you for what you have done,,,,,, everyone , well almost everyone on this planet has done the same thing. If you pray talk to God alone,,,,,, and don't let guilt eat you up....... there is always ways to deal with things and it is not the end of the world, even if you tell. The elders and your parents may act like it is,,,,,,,,,, but trust me ,,,,,,,in life there is so much more to worry about. Be true to yourself.......... hugs,,,,,,,,,,,Dede

Preston

It pisses me off whenever I read about someone here who feels guility over getting it on (I'm not angry at you Shytears). Unfortuantely, it's the 21st century and even a kid gets villanized by the elderhoos even if they have a Playboy under the mattress (when I was a kid I had copies of GQ with all the ha-ha-HOT pictures of guys in tight briefs). I think it's about fawking time for the "governing-body-of-stay-the-fawk-out-of-my-business" to step off....

Oh yeah, and as other people have said shytears, I think it's unfortuante that you feel guilty over sometthing that people do all the freaking time. I mean, If I had to confess for every time I got laid I'd have to spend half of my life in a room with a bunch of grumpy old gruffs who don't have the decency tolay off of who I can date. IMNSHO, I think it's clear that it is the WT that has the problem. Hopefully, you'll feel less guilty about it in the long run.

FreePeace

Wasa,

Men are not that complex.

Now everything makes sense to me! Now I get it! I always knew I wasn't as complex as I thought I was.

Just give me my dinner, a beer, and a tumble in bed, and I'm happy as a dog.

God, I feel so enlightened!

Thanks!

Doug ( "Men Suck" class)

Shakita

shytears:

I have to disagree with the posters here who say that 16 year olds go around all the time having sex and that you shouldn't feel guilty about it because everybody does it!

I might be in the minority here, but 16 year olds aren't ready for the commitment that comes from having sex. And the guys here won't like this but, boys that age are even less able to make a mature decision on whether or not to have sex. They have sex without thinking about the consequences. And there will be consquences. Even if you do use protection, which is great, you have to deal with the emotional issues after the fact. Geeze, adults have issues in this area, and 16 years old is not old enough to be emotionally ready for the relationship that comes from being intimate.

You will find people here on this board who will appease you and tell you that it is completely normal to have sex, even at your age. I hope you think over the advice given to you on this forum, pro and con, and from adults you can trust in your life.

I have always said that in schools they should have classes dealing with the real social issues that teenagers go through in high school. The one semester of sex ed. in health class just doesn't seem to be enough to deal with all the social pressure put on the kids in today's real world.

Mrs. Shakita(who can't help but give advice like a Mom)

SixofNine

He will tell his buddies, already has, cuz that's what kids do. But then again, you'll tell your buddies too, right? I mean, you would if you weren't a witness and needing to keep this on the down low, anyway. He probably just defines "buddies" a bit more loosely than you, lol.

If you are concerned about "looking easy", then actually be in a relationship with the person you have sex with. Then no one cares (and in fact, most everyone assumes you are having sex), except for religious extremist like Jehovah's Witnesses.

LOL @ shakita... you go right ahead trying to manufacture some mysterious "emotional" fallout from sex. It only exist when people (such as yourself) manufacture it. Kind of like JW's and their self-fulfilling consequences of leaving the protection of god's organization.

LyinEyes

I am very involved in the lives of my son and my neice , I know what they are up to....and I know what the other kids are doing at the age of 16. I don't know what it is like in every town, but I know what is going on in my towns and around here. I over hear other kids at football games, my son tells me what he hears and sees at school and what the kids he knows are doing. They are for the majority having sex......... this is real life,,,,,,,, most kids this age have in fact been doing some kind of sexual activity for years by the ripe old age of 16. Like I mentioned above, I would prefer for my son to mature before he gets involved,,,, he wants to go to college, play football and travel. He has a good example of what having little ones is like right here at home, he has two younger siblings and knows how it does hamper the things we get to do. He swears he doesnt want kids for a long time,,,,,,,,so I tell him to think , if and when he does get involved with a girl, he better be ready for any consequences that may happen.

I don't think you are giving your child free reign by telling them IF you do this or that.. use protection. I think you are being real. If you are not real with the kids , they will make a serious mistake, that will forever alter their lives. I know kids will always find a way to do what they want to ........ and my son's favorite saying is...."Knowledge is Power".

Shakita

Six:

Are you telling me that shytears will not have any emotional consequences from having sex at 16? If she felt ok about it, then why is she here?

Thank god that all mothers don't think like you or we would have an awful lot of 16 year olds bringing babies home to Mom to take care of!

My advice to shytears was honest and from the heart. I think your response was ignorant and not warranted!

Shakita

Six:

I just found your profile and it seems that you are a man(not a woman as I thought)

That just explains your entire post.

Men just don't get it. The day after having sex with someone who you just met at a football game, the guys go on their merry way while the girls go home to deal with thoughts of "I hope the protection worked" "I sure hope I get my period next month" "I hope the guy calls me" "I really liked/love that guy, I hope he feels the same".

You have to be the girl in this kind of situation to have the feelings that girls do. Move on to something you know something about!

OMG What have i done!

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