Edited by - Shytears on 4 November 2002 22:33:33
OMG What have i done!
by Shytears 40 Replies latest watchtower medical
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Shytears
hmm
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ballistic
I don't have much advice to offer, but that age you're at... I'm glad I've been through it and came out the other end alive! Everyones different and every relationships different, I had to learn that when I felt I was being used by women. Yes, you can be used, and we all can, just be carefull. I'm glad you have a friend of similar mind and age, perhaps you can get together with her to talk things through? Don't forget, I'm only 31 and already starting to really feel my age and my "loss of innocence". I think most people over my age would do anything to have chances back.
God Bless.
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larc
Shytears, did you get used? Probably. I don't think you should call him again. If it was more than a one night stand, he will call you, if there is anything more to it. Of course, he might call you when he is in the mood for some fun once again. Just chalk it up to experience, and try not to make the same mistake again. If he does call, stay away from the sex for awhile until you see that he will take you out on dates, visit his family and friends, etc. If he is unwilling to do these things, then sex is all there is to it.
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SixofNine
Laura, it was just a moment. For you as well as him. You got overheated in a vehicle. Please start this very second being honest with yourself. It will save you a lifetime of twisted emotions.
I'm not saying you aren't genuinely attracted to him, but honestly, you did not have a committed relationship, did you? You are in no position to expect sex to be anything more than sex. Hey, the good thing about sex is, that even when it's just sex, it can be pretty great. As I said earlier to you, if you want it to be something more than sex, you need to actually have a bf/gf dating relationship with the person.
Hey, I'm realistic, I know this is how many relationships start off Laura, and if so, great. Just don't be expecting it to turn into the love of your life just because you got jiggy in a car at the football game. I think you can see that you are already tending to put the cart before the horse, emotionally and physically speaking. Again, if it works out, fine, but if not, well, this is how you played the game. You may choose to do things differently next time.
lol, and I was soooo right about you telling you buddies, hehe .
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caligirl
Shytears, please please do not beat yourself up over this! THe guilt complex is a terrible side effect of being a witness. You had a simple moment of weakness with a guy you like. You are a thinking individual and have realized that you do not subscribe to the belief system that you were raised with, and have now done something that essentially "thumbs your nose at the establishment". I was a very independent 16 year old myself. I often felt very helpless and trapped in the whole environment, and I understand your frustration. I agree that you should keep it to yourself and do not confess to anything. I also agree with larc. Let this guy contact you if he wants to discuss it any more- do not torture yourself with questions of what he thinks about what happened between you. If he calls and wants to talk, it meant something to him. If he does not, then you have your answer there as well. You are the only one that will suffer by endless second guessing or repeatedly calling him at home, and will only provide more conversation for him and his friends if that is what he is about. Just because you did it once does not mean that you have to do it again. Make sure that if you decide to have sex again, with him or anyone else, that it is on YOUR terms and because YOU decide it is right for you. I would also recommend that you contact planned parenthood or another local resource that provides councelling and medical care and think about birth control pills, even if you have no immediate plans to have sex again anytime soon- condoms are just not reliable enough. I beleive that at your age (in most areas) you can be provided with confidential medical care and your parents do not need to know. Just my thoughts, and feel free to email me directly.
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troucul
2 things...
bloodiest condom?...you even grossed me out honey.
third, I think all this advice is falling on deaf ears. Bottom line, experience is the best teacher.
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wednesday
I so agree,i think very little of this advice is being listened to.
BTW, the remark about the condom was a really great visual. One i will find hard to remove from my mind(and i sooooo want to).
good luck
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Shytears
:(
Edited by - Shytears on 4 November 2002 22:38:20
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SixofNine
BTW, the remark about the condom was a really great visual. One i will find hard to remove from my mind(and i sooooo want to).
lol, when "Jackass" is number one at the box office, what do you expect? *old man sigh* 'kids these days'.
In a way though, the openness and honesty about specifics like this is good, even if gross. It means she won't be having any subconcious hang-ups going on about her experience; it's just 'this is it, I'll deal with it'. Any of us from a different era have to appreciate the value of that, don't we?