First a clarification, then my apology, and last comment regarding TH:
Mr. Eakins (Aka Trauma_Hound) has stated a number of times that he wishes I would take matters off-board to settle in private email as he has done with others. However, the problem that began between he an I started on JWOL, where his first reaction was to rip me apart in public ... no email, no nice civil efforts to settle a concern in private. So, I decided to take a stand in public because I did not like the abusive bullying treatment I received.
After my last post December 29 th , 2002, where I made mention of Trauma_Hound, I received the following email on December 30, 2003. This, evidently, is Mr. Eakins idea of how he wants to settle matters privately and it seems to me to be no different than what he says in public. So, I had little incentive to respond. Rather, I blocked his email from being received to my account, and decided to forget matters. Here is the email in question as I received it:
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Abviously you are too dense to get it. You spout off about Bill Bowen, on JWD, then you start pulling the same shit on JWO, I got tired of hearing about it, your a redundant fool. The day I said what I did, I found out the molestor of my Sister, and 6 of my cousins was back in town, now it being too late to do anything, because of the fucked up statute of limitations in the state of washington. To top it off, you had to make a remark about me not loving children, I haven't seen my child in over a year. You don't know me from squat, you had to bring something back to light, and shove it in my face, and act all fucking high and mighty. Maybe you should consider what the fuck you say to people. You called me a wuss? OH big fucking man, I'm not the whiny little fuck, that has to dig old shit up,and bring it back up. If your such a courages man, then you would have e-mailed me, now who's the wuss. Fuck you asshole!
I wrote a long response to this email, but never sent it or posted it. I will only mention that I never dug up old stuff on Mr. Eakins, since as he admits I don't know him, and therefore, knew of nothing to dig up. And I never stated that he did not love children. I only questioned his claims to be so loving in light of how he treats people. This is an example of contextual butchering I see all too often.
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Then, the other day, I was feeling bad (self-pity), so, I decided to deal with Mr. Eakins email in public. My reason for mentioning my health again was not to elicit sympathy, but to link the value of our short life with many needless negative things we all do in life ... thus wasting our time on unproductive activities. My health issues have made me more keenly aware of how short life is, and the folly of such unproductive acts. Unfortunately, my response was nearly four weeks after Mr. Eakins email to me.
MY APOLOGY TO THE BOARD: Since Mr. Eakins email was sent nearly four weeks ago, and my intent to spend my time in other pursuits was plainly stated, then I really had no business bringing this issue up again. I should have stuck to my original resolve to let it die. I was having a moment of self-pity the other day, and because Mr. Eakins seems to like to cut me to ribbons, I felt that I should not have to tolerate such abusive, harassing, and bully-like behavior. And in that moment of licking my wounds, I made my post. Nevertheless, my recent post was still not necessary or appropriate. I apologize to all of you.
Since then, Mr. Eakins sent me another email that is nicely worded --- at least no expletives --- and did not make threatening statements. Here it is:
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Don't you think the adult thing to do would be to directly contact me, rather then drag me through the mud? Your not the only person with health problems.
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Here is my response:
Dear Mr. Eakins,
Never in this life will I have private correspondence with you. Please do not email me, ever. I have blocked your entire domain, so please do not attempt to get around this by emailing from another domain. My reason is that you started this in public, and your outcry for privacy is disingenuine, though I think you feel sincere about it. Also, the issue is so simple that it does not require any level of negotiation or discussion just please stop ripping people apart when they say things you disagree with. The opinions of others does not make them right or wrong ... well, some are wrong ... however, they do not deserve being ripped they way you do.
My whole point in bringing you into any discussion was to illustrate what I consider needless angst and negativity, fueling energy into unproductive bullying of people. Life, Mr. Eakins, is way to short, and there are to many other important things at stake than spending time cussing people out the way you do. And, as I stated above, my mentioning of health issues is not meant to elicit sympathy or excuse of conduct, but to highlight the shortness of life, and the waste of our precious time on negativity.
Were you to have really read my December 29 th post, you would have seen my conciliatory remarks about you, my recognition that, like everyone else, you too have your own problems to deal with. My comment about you being a wuss could, would, and should have been taken in a better context by you. But, then again, I dont know; I see too many people who "blow-by" context without understanding the intent and flavor of what was meant by the single-dimension written word.
Finally, Mr. Eakins, I do understand that you are hurting as an ex-JW as well as many hundreds of thousands of others are. One would think that we ex-JWs would be kinder and gentler to one another than we are ... that our common bond, and our common angst with the Watchtower religion would lead us to show one another more compassion ... but, somehow we all seem to beat one one another as much as we try to help one another heal. Because of this, I recognize that I may not have been entirely fair with you, even though I am not sure just how I have wronged you, as you started this entire scenario. Nevertheless, I offer my public apology for engaging with you and feeding fuel to the fire. I apologize if any of my comments offended you. And I offer a hand in peace, and to let us agree to disagree as gentlemen, not as bullies.
A response from you will be difficult since I cut off all email from you effectively immediately, and I no longer read any other ex-JW board, except I do read JWD and Concord from time to time. So, I will just leave this alone and hope that my offer is acceptable to you. If not, well ... I dont know what to say ... perhaps the best thing from here on is for us both to cease saying anymore to one another. I hope that you can at least respect my response, and trust that I will not discuss you again. - Jim Whitney
Edited by - Amazing on 27 January 2003 23:51:44