Clarification & Apology
by Amazing 60 Replies latest jw friends
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RevMalk
I have said and will continue to say that Simon has every right to run this forum in whatever way he sees fit, and in that he does a better job than anyone I know. My comments weren't directed at Simon, per se, only to the fact that Amazing, as Amazing said, was wrong in the way he went about things.
Excellent, this is exactly how I feel, and it seems as though Simon thinks I'm trying to tell him what to do, and that is NOT the case, and I certainly meant no offence to anyone for comments that I've made. Simon has done a wonderful job here at JWD under the circumstances, and it's no easy task. So for Simon, or anyone that thinks I was trying to be mean, or be abrasive, or insulting, or whatever, just know that is not the case.
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Englishman
This is an incredibly emotive and volatile subject, feelings are running very high in a host of differing directions.
But, at least we are now being reasonably civil to one another, despite everything that has taken place. I'm sure that lessons will be learned from this by everyone, me included I might add.
Englishman.
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think41self
((((Simon))))
Just wanted to drop in with a word of support for you. Regardless of who said what first, or who said what on ANY other thread or board....the fact remains, TH was abusive and threatening.
End of discussion as far as I'm concerned. People making excuses for his behavior, and wanting to let him back on the board, kind of remind me of people living in abusive families. It's so easy to get caught up in the dysfunctional persons emotions and life, and see their good points, and their efforts at times (when it suits them) to try and make amends...but the bottom line is, that doesn't excuse the abusive behavior in the first place!
Simon, you put up with wayyyyyyy too much crap from this individual in my opinion. I support your decision 100%. This is not the Kingdom Hall people, this is not real life. Someone banned from this board is NOT cut off from their loved ones and family....they're not even cut off from other posters on this board. They can email and IM them to their hearts content.
Don't get too discouraged Simon, we need you to stay the same tough, fair minded individual we all know and love. You don't owe anyone explanations, except for Angharad......
Tracy
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refiners fire
..."and don't recall a single pleasant interchange with the man"....
And neither do I. So I dont view it as much of a loss. Sorry.
I agree, TJ, that Amazing went about things wrong. But living with a person whose got a heart problem, I know that Amazing is not seeing things clearly at the moment and is emotional.His judgement isnt as sharp as it would usually be. Im cutting the guy a lot of slack in my judgement of his actions. Not that my judgement or opinion is worth much.
Amazing, brother, no offence intended
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waiting
Hey Thinks41,
This is not the Kingdom Hall people, this is not real life. Someone banned from this board is NOT cut off from their loved ones and family....they're not even cut off from other posters on this board. They can email and IM them to their hearts content.
If a poster is deleted from this forum - what happens to him/her? Anything they want, just not on this particular forum. Internet Life goes on just as before - just not on that particular forum.
Can we talk with them? Yes - anywhere else. In real life, on the net, through email, on the phone.
Can they post on the Net? Yes - just not on that particular forum.
Do they lose friends? No - they can still communicate.
Do they lose family? No - they can still communicate.
Do they lose jobs? No - they can still communicate.
Do they lose their internet reputation? No - they are still the same poster.
Do they lose their Christian reputation? Get out of here.................
Now, if someone is disfellowshipped - what do they lose?
Their self-respect as a worthy, decent, human being.
Their family.
Sometimes their jobs.
Their friends, many times - ALL their friends.
Their perceived standing with God.
The right to be acknowledged through common courtesy shown to strangers.
Their hope for Eternal Life unless they get back into the congregation before Jehovah God kills them when Armageddon comes shortly.
The damnation of the Second Death in the Lake of Fire if they don't repent in time before they're killed by Jehovah God at Armageddon - coming any day now.
But they can still post on this forum.
Edited by - waiting on 28 January 2003 19:7:12
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Cassiline
I feel, as some of this is my fault. Knowing Amazing, I feel he cares deeply about people, when I read the posts last night and saw what happened I called Amazing on the phone to assure he was not upset and perhaps feeling responsible for THs banning. (I do not know TH and am sure he feels for people as well) My concern centered on Amazings precarious physical condition.
Amazing has been through hell and back the last several months with his health and IMO has come to a point in his life where he as most do after a near death experience sees his or her mortality and feels it as if it were a snake rearing its ugly head ready to strike at any moment. The constant strain of this snake readying to strike can debilitate anyone, I have heard fear, pain, labored and strained breathing in his voice at times prior to his recent hospitalizations have thought for sure he was not going to make it. I state this not for sympathy for Amazing but to perhaps show why the post did not come off as he first intended, and perhaps his own admitted lack of judgment in posting what he did so far past what he considered insults in the e-mail.
When I called him I asked him if all were well in his world and commented on the post. He stated he obviously did not clarify himself and the main objective on his part was to try and show that life is short and not to dwell on the negatives, although by not clarifying himself in his first post it made it seem as if he were not letting go of the past and would set out to clarify his original post by making an apology. This is why I feel a certain responsibility, as Amazing had not even known until my phone call what had transpired since he first made the thread. I feel as though in some way just as in a flame war I had contributed to the fanning of the flames by alerting him (unbeknownst to myself) as to what had happened.
Amazing stated he "wanted to end what he should not have done to begin with", clarify when the e-mail was received and since so many asked that the e-mail be posted and questioned its existence would assure those who asked see that there was indeed an e-mail. Again he said he should have never asked TH the questions the way he did or at all, especially given the time that had passed since the inception of the e-mail from TH. So given those who questioned the existence of the e-mail and misunderstood his original post he felt the need to apologize to TH and the board for the animosity created.
When under the amount of stress he has been or anyone for that matter things written can be viewed and mistaken to have a different meaning. I am sure that TH given his recent health issues is feeling stress as well, also past comments by either party has left emotions raw.
The speculation as to whether this was purposeful baiting and the outcome of the situation was predetermined knowing how TH would react given the circumstances is ludicrous IMO. To also say that Amazing and moderators knew that TH would react the way he did says to me exactly what Danny Bear commented on earlier this month. It seems as if some are expected a certain latitude when it comes to checking their emotions. We all have certain skeletons in our past we must deal with but for some to use that past as a crutch as to how we react to those who we feel have wronged us in whatever manner is only enabling that some think this behavior is acceptable.
Some feel this second post lacked any consolatory speech whatsoever and was made to fan flames as well. But I just do not see this, I see a man trying to make amends for a mistake, which he freely admits to, and apologizing the way he can given the relationship as it stood. An apology he meant for all here as well for creating the negative atmosphere, thus in his opinion the need to clarify.
With this post I apologize to Amazing and Trauma Hound for my assumptions regarding the knowledge of the thread and IMO fanning the flames with my phone call to Jim.
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RandomTask
Simon, I normally am bent when you have to ban someone. Not in this case, not by a long shot. You did absolutely the right thing.
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Simon
I think there is too much of this comparing deactivation from a forum with disfellowshipping. It is a comparison normally made by those who are quick to criticise and condemn but it really does belittle and make light of the real pain that disfellowshipping and shunning causes.
If anyone does feel a similar level of pain over being deactivated from a forum then deactivation is probably doing them a big favor !
Thanks for the background info Cassi ... I'll try and call Amazing too