I believe in Jesus and in Jehovah. It is highly gratifying to me to talk about the people I love. I worship Jehovah, so for me to talk about Him makes sense and is fitting.
If you claim not to believe in Him, then you are most to be pitied. You spend so much time talking about something you don't believe in. If you really don't believe in Him, why are you wasting your time on here?
Unless you really do believe in Him, but you're trying to avoid something that you need to repent about and you're trying to ease your conscience.
I don't know what's in your heart. I just know you are a bit of a contradiction.