by BugEye 139 Replies latest social humour
Two blondes and a brunette were walking down the beach when a seagull dumps a load on one of the blondes.
The brunette says "I'll go and get some toilet paper."
When she left, one blonde turns to the other blonde and says "Boy, is she ever stupid. By the time she gets back, that seagull will be miles away."
Potentially and Reality, ROTFLOL
They're all great! Thanks for the laughs!
Technical support request:
Q: Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can not seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but UNINSTALL does not work on this program. Can you help me?
A: Dear User, This is a very common problem. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that this is merely a utilities & entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an operating system and designed to run everything. Do not try to
uninstall the program. Trying to remove Wife 1.O will destroy valuable system resources. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Others have tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 in the background, while Wife 1.0 is running. Eventually Wife 1.0 detects Girlfriend 1.0 and a system conflict occurs, this can lead to a system crash.
Dave
Lucy went to college. However, she really worried her folks because all she ever wrote home about was boys and good times. Her mother decided to have a serious talk with Lucy when she came home for a weekend.
The mother started out by saying, "Now, dear, if you are only going to college to find a husband, it certainly will be expensive shopping."
"Yes, I know, Mom," said Lucy, "but what a supermarket."
In life there are two things to worry about: either you are well or you are sick. If you are well then there is nothing to worry about, but if you are sick there are only two things to worry about: either you get well or you die.
If you get well then there is nothing to worry about. But if you die there are only two things to worry about: either you will go to heaven or to hell.
If you go to heaven then there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends you won't have time to worry.
Virus Alerts
Lewinsky Virus:
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
Oprah Winfrey Virus:
Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200MB.
Kenneth Starr Virus:
Competely examines every aspect of your computer, then compiles a complex report that discredits every aspect of your computer.
Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus:
Deletes all old files.
