Adventures at the District Convention (page 4)

ESTEE

RunningMan,

Hey, I miss you fellow Saskatchewanite!

Hardly a talk went by without attributing something nefarious to Satan. He’s been one busy guy this this year – programming video games, writing books, singing, running the entire internet, designing clothes, dating young sisters, running tattoo parlors, fighting wars, terrorizing the world, shooting documentaries, masterbating, teasing children… He seems very creative. God, on the other hand, seems to have pissed away the whole year making infinitesimal adjustments to dots on maps.

Tooooo funnnneeeeee, RunningMan!!!! ROFLMAO!!!! Without that ~~deep spirituality~~ wild sense of humor of yours, how could a guy ~~focus intently on the program~~ sit through that ~~shit~~ stuff for hours on end and still be sane...

ESTEE

freein89

absolutely hysterical-almost makes me want to go to a District Convention-almost. Keep it up, we need the laughs.

Thankyouthankyouthankyou

Deb

Nathan Natas

Nicely done, RunningMan!

On Friday afternoon, the portion, “Jehovah, Our Fortress in Times of Distress” made extensive use of the phrase “The John Class”. Apparently, the society doesn’t realize that “John” is another word for toilet.

It's also the name prostitutes give their anonymous customers. Have they ever mentioned a "Dick" class?

Friday afternoon also played host to a one hour symposium on Amos – an excrutiatingly detailed and repetitive commentary.

Maybe next year they can expand this a little to include a discussion about the prophet who spent time in the lion's den. they coould call it "The Amos 'n Danny show."

jschwehm

Runningman:

You need to volunteer to do the Convention highlights part on the service meeting and your hall. They would be rolling in the aisles after hearing this recap of the convention!

Jeff S.

heathen

ROTFLMAO I like the part about not honoring anyone and then parading the missionaries around. They apparently missed the part in the bible about ascribing the older men with a double honor. The part about donations about slayed me man .

concerned mama

Hilarious Runningman!

On a serious note, if a worldly person, such as myself ever heard this stuff at a convention it would put them off JWs for life. The phobia of the world and media and all outsiders is really pretty creepy and scary.

earthdreamer

Oh my. I had to laugh about the 24:14 placard. I just pictured the attendants motioning for who would be the one to grab it. That was hysterical. I applaud you for sitting through that. I can't even imagine it. It's been probably at least 10 years since I went.

That whole rendition was priceless. BTW - how many donation boxes were there? and were they listed on the map?

what-now?

I agree. I motion that we vote Runningman's "Adventures at the District Convention" the thread of the year. Especially considering he took one (or more than 'one') for the team!

I was reading this to my 'worldly' BF and even he was laughing (he's been to one assembly).

Because I was raised a 'witless', and this is the first year of my life I haven't gone (even though I was disfellowshipped for several years now) I needed to know that I made the right choice [not to go].

Ironically enough, my dad just called me a few moments ago (he NEVER calls me since he and my mom are IN and I'm OUT) because he was programming his mom (My grandma's) new telephone. He asked me if I had been to the assembly yet. I said "No". He added "Oh, not yet, huh?" rehetorically. I thought "Not ever." But chicken'd out choosing not to 'poke the tiger'.

Why would I want to go to a place 50 miles away from my home. Pack lunch for me and my two children the night before (three days). Be ignored by people whom I grew up with. Sit and hear boring talks that condemn me and some of my choices. Not to mention 'wasting' 3 perfectly beautiful days.

what-now?

I agree. I motion that we vote Runningman's "Adventures at the District Convention" the thread of the year. Especially considering he took one (or more than 'one') for the team!

I was reading this to my 'worldly' BF and even he was laughing (he's been to one assembly).

Because I was raised a 'witless', and this is the first year of my life I haven't gone (even though I was disfellowshipped for several years now) I needed to know that I made the right choice [not to go].

Ironically enough, my dad just called me a few moments ago (he NEVER calls me since he and my mom are IN and I'm OUT) because he was programming his mom (My grandma's) new telephone. He asked me if I had been to the assembly yet. I said "No". He added "Oh, not yet, huh?" rehetorically. I thought "Not ever." But chicken'd out choosing not to 'poke the tiger'.

Why would I want to go to a place 50 miles away from my home. Pack lunch for me and my two children the night before (three days). Be ignored by people whom I grew up with. Sit and hear boring talks that condemn me and some of my choices. Not to mention 'wasting' 3 perfectly beautiful days.

TR

This is just too damn funny.

TR

Adventures at the District Convention

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