I Just Don't "Fit" Anywhere! (page 4)

no one

I'm with DFW on this one. Thanks PG for posting a thread where I possibly fit in.

Having had only 2 friends in my life (aside from my wife) who are both dead now has made me truly solitary.

Though not a chatty poster, I've made an attempt here and there at reaching out to others thru replies to their posts or a PM. Except for a few instances, my posts and PMs are ignored. Being basically a loner, I'd like to proudly say that it doesn't bother me. Yet, in truth, I find at times that it does.

You are one of the exceptions, PG. You were the only one to welcome me to the board. Though I did not acknowledge your welcoming me at the time, neither did I forget. Not blaming anyone. I didn't introduce myself.

From time to time I write about not fitting in from different perspectives; lonliness, suicide, frustration. So, as a thank you for welcoming me here, I post this here:

Anatomy of a Suicide

Each day I wander out into this jigsaw society searching for that place where I belong; desparately trying to find that one spot that only I can fit perfectly. And each night I return home again, saddened and exhausted, to stand before a mirror that reflects only a small piece of empty sky that belongs in another puzzle.

Mary

Work - don't get in the "inner" goings on there either. I listen to EVERYONE's gossip - so they all "like" me -but I'm never one "involved" with the gossip..

You have no idea how smart you are not to get involved in office gossip. Count yer blessings girl!!

Ravyn

loneliness and boredom are b!tches. however I like myself better than I like other people. I am more interesting and kind and generally a cut above the average human out there. So to have my husband and my pets is enough when I consider the alternative. BUT I do meet others who are like me in here, so I know there are some of us out there.

aren't we great?(and I consider Petty and Plummy to be of my 'ilk'--among others)

Ravyn

freein89

Petty,

Me too Me too, the problem is that you just invented a clique here and worse yet you are our leader and we will glum on to you and try to find out what you are wearing today so we can safely choose outfits that will represent the qualities of our new clique. Are we preppie, or perhaps goth, do we use eyeliner? He He. I hope we aren't the cheerleader kind of clique, maybe we could be nerds and have everybody find out how cool we really are!!!

Deb

Reborn2002

Don't fret pettygrudger. You are not alone. I don't "fit in" anywhere either.

oldcrowwoman

I am glad you brought this up. Helps me to put this in perspective. And thank you PG for the gift.

I too, struggled. I am 59 years old. Even on a couple of ex's boards I felt this square peg trying to fit in round hole. I realized being on the fringes of these clinques that I would'nt get my needs met and it would'nt be place for me to be. And I would loose part of myself. I worked too hard to get to this point in life to do a trade off in order to belong.

I work with 180 people in the ER. I have one friend who I can call a true friend and visa versa. The clinques are like the HS cheerleaders they have'nt actually moved on in life. Interesting I for the most part don't know all the goings on. Nor do I care. People don't share with me. Cause I would nip in the bud.

I've been on this board 6 months or more. I am beginning to feel okay and making friends. So there are jewels here.

I would love to get to know you more. Thank you again for the gift.

All the Best, Old Crow Woman

lisaBObeesa

PG,

I identified perfectly with all you wrote! I could have written that! All except the last part about being ok with it. I’m not ok with it. It makes me sad. This is what I think all the time: “I want some friends, d@mn it! What the heck is wrong with me?!”

So thanks for posting this and bringing up the possibility that it just might be ok to be the outsider that I always am. This is a new idea for me.

Thank you very much!

You know what I always wished they had? Well, you know how there are websites for meeting singles? I wish there were websites for making friends that were similar: “Hi, I’m in my 30’s, married with a couple kids, I was raised JW, but now am an ex…Looking for a friend to meet for coffee at least once a week and maybe some shopping, who would like to talk about life the universe and everything! Someone who could crack me up when I am feeling down and I could do the same for them. Someone who thinks ‘The Princess Bride’ is a funny movie. Someone who does not let their kids play ‘Grand Theft Auto 2’. If this sounds like you, lets have coffee!”

-LisaBObeesa

Dear 'no one':

You fit in here. Please post more! Your poem broke my heart. I hope you are not thinking of suicide!

unique1

Neither do I really. I think my individuality comes partly from being raised a witness. Witness children are always on the outside of groups, even if you have friends, they see you as different because you didn't celebrate anything, you couldn't attend school dances, etc. I got used to being the "oddball" and now I take pride in it.

It isn't just anyone that can be as unique as us!!!

Country Girl

Like you said OCW: we *are* round pegs trying to fit in a square hole. Nothing wrong with that! Some of life's most interesting and exciting people were the same. I've lived a highly interesting life. Nothing much to the left of adventure, except that I've always been attracted to the "fringies" and that's fine and dandy with me. Their lives have intermingled with mine, been crossed over, under, over, whatever. It's all good. For, from them, I've learned to live life a little crazy: a little on the wild side. I'm used to it. My Father is not even a Witness, and is one of the most oddball people I've ever met. He "attracts" oddballs, and so my whole life has been surrounded by oddballs: JW's from one side, and fringies from another. I've got a million stories to tell, and from each of them I've learned just a little more bout myself, and the world around me. I was invested with a keen sense of curiosity, a divine sense of humor, and an endless thirst to know everyone. From all senses, I have molded a world of interest, laughter, curiosity, a thirst for knowledge and with these I have embarked on the most precious mission of my life: to find out everything about everyone and everything. I love it *all*! It makes me an oddball because I'm not on the normal American quest of money, prestiege, and influence. As long as I have food, shelter, my family and animals, and all the world has to offer, I'm on an endless quest for triviality.. and that's fine by me! I like everything... it's all *so good*. Every little piece fits somewhere in this large jigsaw puzzle of life.

So, don't feel like an oddball anyone: it's just YOU coming alive. Feeling the feelings, living the life, doing the things. Be there in every minute and take what the world has to give, including the down, and just live it. That's what it's there for. If I were to die today, I could honestly say that I've lived life to its fullest merriment. Maybe it wasn't in the "normal" way of money, power, or prestiege, but I sipped every last drop out of my cup and left my lipstick smears. <grin>

It feels odd to feel odd.. but once you get used to it, you realize you have a distinct advantage over MOST of the populace. You are not hindered by class, social, or economic distinction. You just "are" and you are watching and enjoying all of it, not hindered by fears that are the accompaniment of most social wizards: weight, looks, cars, houses, etc. You just are a person that is riding on the coattails of destiny! live and let live...

Country Girl

bikerchic

Good topic pettygrudger! I think you fit in just fine!

Speaking from when I was young in school I was always a popular kid, the leader of sorts. I had lots of friends and always one or two very close friends, some of which were boys and two I still have contact with from Jr. High and High School.

That said most of the time I just wanted to be left alone.......go figure! I found out in my adult years I suffered from "over stimulation" or whatever, just needed some quiet time. I came from a large family (the middle kid) of 5 and I went on to have 5 kids of my own........no quiet time for me! I basicly shunned the social circles at the KH, did what I had to do to be respectable, LOL but kept to myself and my inner family which was fine with me! Seems I was always in hiding mode, with people seeking me out and I just wanted to be left alone!

I have rarely given much thought to "do people like me, or do I fit in?" I am just me and am fine with that, I like myself and darn it I'm okay!

Kate

I Just Don't "Fit" Anywhere!

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