I Just Don't "Fit" Anywhere!

by pettygrudger 57 Replies latest jw friends

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    I’m glad you have found a way to spread your wings here Onacruse - life IS good!

    EXACTLY Maverick - what a wonderful way to look at it.

    In some ways, it's no problem for me, and I certainly don't pity myself, but at times, I'd like a bit more feeling of 'belonging'. Sure, I 'belong' here, but this is not the same as knowing people and actually being with them. In my view, there's a huge difference.

    Rocketman

    Well, I KNOW if you got to a few of the meet-ups – everyone would love you! P.S. You have a very nice blog – I’ve been checking in as of late – thanks for the great reads!

    Mrs. Shakita - I couldn't agree more!

    You are absolutely correct – I just couldn’t believe until today how many!

    I make easily friends wherever I go, but none are very close. I am introvert but not lonely.

    Greven

    This is me in a nutshell (but your avatar scares the heck out of me -but who am I to talk – look at my name?!

    We are all on a journey.. like sperm. Sometimes we get there~ and sometimes we don't. An sometimes it takes a little more effort to get to the end of the journey

    Xandrai

    Said one more time for emphasis – lmao! Never thought of myself as a sperm – but I guess we all are if you get back to basics!

    Obiwan & Rayzorblade – no ass kicking necessary here, and thanks for the kind words. I meant what I said though, I’m beginning to be okay with my squareness, and life is good. I cannot wait to meet you either Rayzorblade – Aztec has spoken so warmly of you as well, we look forward to your visit. I’ll even get a room (course that means you’ll have to host the “after party!”

    OutnFree – sending you a PM

    No One – I hate your nickname, we must get that changed soon to SOMEONE (because you are) and your poem strikes a nerve deep within me. Your posts are warm, supportive and kind…..I can guarantee you will meet others just like you (in fact, you just have).

    Hauntingly sad, familiar to my soul – but it does not have to be this way! You will see, give it time!

    Ravyn – you’re my kind of “ilk” too.

    Freein – thanks – I spit my soda all over the monitor screen for that one!!!! Now I gotta clean it up!

    P.S. I’m not a “preppy”, and I love t-shirts, blue jeans & barefoot!

    Oldcrowwoman – all I can say is that I have read all your posts, here & other forums. Many times I have not responded because you say exactly what I think and feel as well…..and there’s nothing left to say. You are a wise, caring & loving human being. And we are definitely not alone in our “oddity” – as you can see from all the responses! Have you thought of going to the ex-jw meet-ups? I’m sure they’d love to have ya!

    Lisaobeesa – look how warmly you are responded to here. Its just too damn bad we don’t all live in the same city, cuz there wouldn’t be a large enough hall to fit us all in for parties! What city do you live in? Have you thought of joining the ex-jw meet-ups in your area?

    It isn't just anyone that can be as unique as us!!! Unique

    That REALLY sums it up nicely - doesn't it?

    Countrygirl – it sounds as if you have had quite an interesting life! If only I had come to that realization earlier in my years, I might have enjoyed the same opportunities before settling down to raise my family. Let all single people out there let you be a lesson!

    Bikerchic – its very possible that your being okay with yourself is EXACTLY what guided people to you. Your own sense of self etc. – From what I’ve understand that attracts people. Perhaps as JW’s a lot of us were deprived of that ability constantly living with self-worthlessness & guilt – making us unable to feel good about ourselves to an extent.

    Cat – another that fits in everywhere. Everyone loves you – and most “get it” – you just were raised in the wrong family!

    Jessica & BG – from 2 very lovely ladies – this comes as a complete shock….

    In fact, from the people that responded to this thread I am completely overwhelmed. I knew a few would “understand” – but I’m shocked so far at the ones that have. Even some of the most “popular” posters here have the same feelings!!!!

    Hapgood thank you and hugs right back to you and the rest of us oddballs – maybe we aren’t so “odd” afterall aye?

    Now I just wish I could have you all move to my little neck of the woods! In fact, perhaps we could just make our own community! I still get to be the village idiot though - the rest of you have to find your own niches!

  • Ravyn
    Ravyn

    is that correct? Happy Birthday to hapgood?

    feeling icecream and cake calling me....

    Ravyn

  • happyout
    happyout

    PG - I had to accept a long time ago that I am "weird". I hated it in high school, because there it's all about conformity. But, once I left the Borg, got my own place, and spent some alone time, I really grew to love me. I'm kinda allright.

    Because of my family, I've always been well known, but not popular. S'aright with me, I am really kind of a hermit. Other than my family (husband, son, mother and siblings) I could go weeks without needing more than a token interaction with anyone else.

    No one - I have sometimes felt the same way on the forum. I don't know if my posts are too bland or what, but sometimes it seems like they are ignored. I mind sometimes when I think I have said something pretty interesting, but the truth is, it's ok. I don't really have the time to devote to going into chat and posting a lot, so it's cool when someone responds, and ok if they don't. I know what you mean about choosing to live every day, when I first left the Borg, that was exactly my attitude. I am glad you have found something to hold onto (your wife) and I hope you will find more and more.

    Happyout

  • SheilaM
    SheilaM

    PG:

    I know how you feel, I felt that way until we were welcomed in to BIG TEX and NINA'S home ohmygod it was awesome, everyone was great No pre-judgning no bull-shit then we went on to Green Bay>>>>>>>WOW the same thing so now I feel as if I have TRUE friends. No backbiting no jealousy. If everyone would just go meet and not let others cause divisions among us we could have an awesome, awesome group.

    I can't wait to meet Razor and OH MY GOD they are talking about a INTERNATIONAL apostafets. OH and Thunder wants to host a PASTA fest he loved both gatherings but wanted to COOK for everyone LOL

    So, go to the next one I believe it is in October Texas at the District Overbeers WHOOOO HOOOOOO

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    Happy out - don't worry if others don't always respond to things you have written - I myself have felt and said the same thing. I can't remember who it was, but they told me once it was because I had said all there was to say, and there could be no better response - so take it as a compliment! I know I have enjoyed many of your comments.

    Sheila - An international apostofest????? I suggested one a few months back & got laughed off the board! Is it going to be in Texas? That would be so great! Thunders "Pasta fest" sounds good too. When is it? (cuz I KNOW that was a direct invite!)

    In fact, I've been dying to plan an apostofest here in Michigan - in fact I think I'll call it the Oddball Apostofest - sounds like I'd have lots and lots of people who would fit right in!

  • Swan
    Swan

    Many of you will remember the screen name that I originally logged on with almost one year ago. It was UglyDuckling, because that's how I had always felt as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I didn't ever feel like I fit in. I was the Ugly Duckling, the queer duck, the cuckoo's child, & Stella Luna all rolled into one.

    But now I do feel like I fit in most of the time. I'm a swan, all grown up and away from the ducks who didn't appreciate me. I'm the graceful queen of the lake, and my old family of ducks are off doing their thing.

    I still have problems with the self-esteem thing from time to time, and that's okay. I've learned how to handle these temporary feelings of insecurity. They are always going to be with me, to some extent, because of the way I was raised.

    It was nice to hear so many others respond to this thread. I didn't know there were so many here that felt like me. It's nice to fit in with so many other misfits! It sounds like an oxymoron, but really, we are in good company.

    Tammy

  • sxybrwneyes
    sxybrwneyes

    I feel the same way sometimes, but I have always been very independant and never really felt like I needed to belong to a click. I have no enemies that I know of and I get along with everyone. As far as work I get along well with all of my co-workers and they all like me (I think) but I tend not to get all caught up in all the drama, and just kind of do my own thing and mind my own business. I think it is better that way.

    I do have a couple of best friends that I pretty much grew up with in the org. and they are now ex-JW's like me so we have alot in common. I have had alot of friends come and go through the years but most of them turned out not to be such good friends after all. They backed stabbed me and talked about me behind my back, but I'm thankful for the 2 friends that I have. They have been true friends through the years, so I consider myself lucky to have them.

  • Aztec
    Aztec
    I've been dying to plan an apostofest here in Michigan - in fact I think I'll call it the Oddball Apostofest - sounds like I'd have lots and lots of people who would fit right in!

    Petty, is that cause all us oddballs live in Michigan? We could always call it Brummie's BitchesFest..LOL. I'll try calling you this weekend k?

    ~Aztec

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