But people make life decisions based on a whole raft of influences - TV shows, celebrities, books, all manner of things. Do we blame them for people's choices or just acknowledge them as influences?
Non sequitur. The influence of a high control group such as the JWs is more complicated than the influence of a TV show or a book. I don't think it needs to be explained to you, who escaped their clutches, how it works.
I disagree that it's control and I think we give our families an easy "out" if we hand them the "you're controlled" excuse because we want to blame the WTS. The WTS is a corporation, it can't shun us and even if it could, would that hurt us? The only people who can shun us are people we know and they make the choice to do it. We need to lay that choice at their door.
I agree that the corporation/religion can't shun us. But I disagree on the 'control' factor. I see your point, and in a non cult situation, like a self help book, yea, I agree. The way I see it in this situation is that if people give the religion's leaders authority over them, then they allow them to control them in various aspects of their lives. We'll have to agree to disagree on this one, I guess. But it's all cool.
It's not sensible and it's not wise but we can't legislate against stupid. But what I think we can do is educate people and hold people personally accountable for their actions.
If your mother is shunning you, don't tell people that she's controlled by the WTS. Tell them the truth - she's a bad parent who choses to put a religious affiliation she hasn't bothered to research properly ahead of her relationship with her child.
I have no issue with personal accountability. At the end of the day, despite the outside influence, one is responsible for their actions. And educating them is fine, but it's not always enough. That's because they've allowed the religion to control (oooh, there's that word again, lol) their thoughts and actions. It's a hard slog. We know that. We know that the true personality has been squashed by the 'new personality' that they have acquired through their association with this religion. The real person is still in there, it would be nice to reach that person, and help them escape.
My mother does shun me, as a matter of fact. I've told friends that her religion forbids her from associating with ex-members (and hell, I'm not even DFd), and she has chosen to put them first place in her life, cutting me off, since I no longer hold to the tenants of the religion. I acknowledge that it's her decision, but I know how she came to the choice, because I know how the WTS operates.
And this is the most I've posted in forever, lol. Good to see a few names I recognize. Hope all is well for you and your family, Simon. We may not agree on the 'control' factor, but it's good to see you're still here.
