Can Men & Women Just be Friends?

by Xena 102 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  StinkyPantz

  I think it is very hard for two people of the opposite sex to "just be friends". If the two are attracted to each other enough to be friends, the sexual element usually creeps up as well. It helps if both are in a committed relationship, but if one or both are not. . it's not surprising that feelings happen.

  It also depends on how much time is spent together. If they are best friends and both single. . well. . I don't think I couldn't keep my hands off.

  --

  My husband pretty much doesn't allow me to have male friends, well, he'd never let me hang out with a male alone. He thinks that because I am totally beautiful to him, that all men want me. . ya know what, he's proabably right? J/K

  And no offense Watson, but I don't think people can "completely" trust their mate. Jealousy exists, and it's healthy.
• 

  tinkerbell82

  i only have two female friends. i'd die without my guy friends!! men are just easier to talk to and get along with, in my experience. it's hard to make friends with women.
• 

  drwtsn32

  And no offense Watson, but I don't think people can "completely" trust their mate. Jealousy exists, and it's healthy.

  Hmm... bad word choice, I guess. I mean that I trust her so much that I don't have some fear in the back of my mind that she will cheat on me. She has never given me any indication that she would ever do that.
• 

  Xena

  I tend to agree with you SP, it depends on the level of the friendship. The more deeply you become involved in the friendship the more likely there is to develop a physical attractiion. It doesn't mean you have to act on it, but it will still be there.

  My ex-husband and I were best friends too...I think that is the most important part of a relationship. I would never want to be in a relationship where I didn't feel like we weren't each others best friends. That doesn't mean you can't have other friends of either sex, but not at the same level you are at with your S/O.

  So I am curious though, if you felt a friendship you had with another woman or man was making your S/O uncomfortable how would you deal with it?

  and if the shoe was on the other foot....you were feeling uncomfortable with a relationship your S/O had with a member of the opposite sex how would you deal with it?
• 

  safe4kids

  I have male friends that I've been buds with for years and it's always been purely platonic. That's not to say that with other relationships, the friendship hasn't turned into something else. However, I don't really think it's necessarily an issue totally related to gender. I've had female friends who turned out to be backstabbers and untrustworthy, just as I've had the same happen with male friends. Relationships are complicated, no question about it. Perhaps the most important thing is being able to be open and honest, regardless of the sex of the friend.

  Dana
• 

  Xena

  I agree Dana in any relationship being open and honest is essential. Being otherwise does tend to muddy the waters a bit, wouldn't you agree?

  Funny too how sometimes it is the people that you least expect that stab you in the back the hardest.

  Such is life I guess.
• 

  Englishman

  Yes, I have a few female friends. If I met one in the High Street I would be happy to enjoy a coffee together. I would also be quite happy to meet up with a lady poster from here so as to enjoy each other's company and common interests. The problem would arise if I felt that I needed to conceal such a meet-up.

  Englishman.
• 

  DanTheMan

  Tink, I'd be willing to bet that at least some of those "guy friends" of yours are sexually attracted to you and are loser nice guys (see William Penwell's thread) who are afraid to say so. So they get what they can out of you (friendship) and fantasize about how someday you're going to make some sort of gesture towards them that tells them in no ambiguous way that you want to take the relationship to the next level.

  Just speculating based on my own experience/observations.
• 

  Mindchild

  As a single male, I happen to enjoy the company of women. I have in the past and currently have female friends whom I have a platonic relationship with whom I consider my "best friends." From experience I've learned that a friendship with a woman has a lot to offer without any sexual strings attached. I've also had friends whom I've developed sexual relationships with, and those were a delight as well. I think a persons ability to obtain and maintain a platonic friendship with the opposite sex, will vary upon the individuals, their current relationships with others, and their maturity.

  I do know however that a female friendship is "different" than say a male-male friendship. A guy soon finds out that treating his female friends just like another guy can lead to communication problems (men and women typically have quite different perspectives on a lot of things) and them wondering just what planet did you come from. On the upside, I think you can get a lot more emotional support from a woman friend than another male friend.

  For you guys who never have tried having a good platonic relationship with a woman, I suggest you give it a go.

  Skipper
• 

  safe4kids

  Xena,

  Funny too how sometimes it is the people that you least expect that stab you in the back the hardest

  As Shakespeare said, that can be 'the most unkindest cut of all', especially when we never imagined such a thing. But then, we live and learn, do we not?

  Dana