Wives Should Provide Sex On Demand - Dr. Laura

by Mindchild 101 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Big Tex

  Have you ever noticed that the more fundamentalist (read: strict) a religious group is, the more they trick up sex? It's like David Koresh's little group where everyone (but him naturally) had to swear celibacy. I realize it's all about control and if one can control the second strongest urge in humans then you've got something. But it never ceases to amaze me all the stupid and intricate little demands these groups place on people's sex lives.

  When Nina and I were first married, I remember an elder tried oh-so-clumsily to tell me that young couples often "let their curiousity and passion inflame them into sin", i.e. oral sex. Now at the time I was a dyed-in-the-wool 100% good little JW boy but I was outraged that someone had the nerve to tell me what I could, and couldn't, do with my brand new and very sexy wife. As I recall I told him what we did with, or more importantly to, each other was between us and nunofyabizness!

  I didn't know that about some fundy Jewish factions Scully. Why don't they just skip the whole thing and use a syringe? It's about as much fun.
• 

  Scully

  Big Tex writes:

  Why don't they just skip the whole thing and use a syringe? It's about as much fun.

  Vot! A syringe?!? You know vot doz tingks cost, ja??

  Love, Scully (end Jewish grandmother subroutine)
• 

  mouthy

  Scully I ROTFL at your answer ( about the cost )LOL
• 

  Aztec

  "Gimme a break, half the fun is earning it"

  Smack, you're so cute! LOL!

  ~Aztec
• 

  berylblue

  If husbands are expected to go to work and earn money and visit relatives they don't like, why can't wives put out on demand?"

  Is there a husband around who doesn't expect his WIFE to go to work and earn money as well? How about all the housework that we (usually) alone must do.
  

  I gave both husbands sex whenever they wanted; regardless of how I felt. I will never forget one time in particular; I had bronchitis, a fever of 103, had just put the girls to bed (he never helped with anything; just got high in the basement). My ex stormed into the kitchen where I was doing dishes and said, "Is tonight gonna be a sex night or what?" He wanted it, so it was.

  This is, quite frankly, why I started drinking. It is very difficult to be loving and tender with a man for whom one has no respect or love. I did it anyway, and I couldn't bear myself for being untrue to myself. Hence, the wine. Not whine, mind you. I never let him know how I felt; he would have probably hauled off and hit me.

  I know this isn't quite what the good doctor had in mind (or maybe she did; I don't know) but many women have a difficult time being intimate with someone who, 3 hours previously, told her once again she was fat, stupid and ugly.
• 

  ballistic

  I'm suddenly glad I'm single. Women say "no"?
• 

  berylblue

  I never did, Ballistic.
• 

  Perry

  Sex On Demand

  Isn't that a cable option?

  Seriously, people have different drives.... both male and female. I've seen relationships that were evenly matched, ones where the guy didn't get enough, and ones where the gal didn't get enough. Dr. Laura is full of it. I have had relationships that fit into all three catagories.

  Whatever happened to being considerate? Real problems occur in my opinion when people are severely unevenly matched it their relationship. To imply that women don't want sex as much as men is such a gross generalization that it makes anything productive that comes from that position meaningless.

  There are an awlful lot of incredibly horny women out there that pester their hubbys for it too.
• 

  Thunder Rider

  I think you're all missing the point. In order for a marriage to be truly happy, there needs to be a feeling of love, security and appreciation for and from both partners. The most basic, intimate and exclusive act that a couple can use to express and recieve these feelings is sex. Notice that I refered to a married couple here. People having unmarried sex have not made the commitment to one another that brings feelings of security and exclusivity. Without the marriage vows and the heartfelt commitment, sex is just a thing and either partner has every right to say no!

  Married couples that want to assure their spouse that the relationship is healthy and strong are always looking for ways to show it. If a man knows that his wife is ready willing and enjoys having sex with him he would never "demand"it. He wouldn't need to. I would offer that men wwo do are probably used to having to beg for sex.

  For the ladies: You all have the right to exercise control over your bodies and your sex life. Feel free to tell your partner NO! The trouble with that is that there are lots of "women" out there that will say yes, and a man insecure with his home life WILL find those "women". Sad but true. If your husband is failing you in some way, TELL HIM! Men are generaly oblivious to their own failings. We do however love to fix things and if you lovingly point out our problems, you'll be suprised what we are capable of!

  For the men: If you have to demand sex then you're not taking care of your wife, one way or other. If you find her to be "fat and ugly" its because you made her that way. Women are mirrors of their mans soul. If they feel loved, cared for and cherrished, they will reflect that by taking care of themselves and their beauty will shine through. The sex act is the most intimate and exclusive thing that a woman can offer to a man. It is hers to give. If she has no doubt in her heart or mind of your devotion and love, she'll make it perfectly plain to you and only you, that sex, with you, is always a welcome activity.

  Dr. Laura tends to be a bit over the top, but her most basic tennat is this..... "Do the right thing". How can that sentiment ever be wrong?

  When I married I made Sheila's happiness and security my focus and she did the same for me. We have always been busy with life, work, children and so forth. We did however always make time for intimacy. Nothing is more important than maintaining a strong commited relationship, and you can't do that properly with too many oars in the water. I re-scheduled some of the "dreams" I had until the kids were grown, Sheila waited to go to school. We could have sacrificed our sex life to follow those dream back then but would we still be together? We'll never know, the risk was too great and the price too high to even consider it.

  I speak from 20 years experience, and for those of you that are now snickering..... I give it up gladly when ever Sheila wants and vice versa.I consider myself a happy person, sometimes a bit intense, but generaly happy. I'm 40 and still get carded when I buy beer. A happy healthy married life with fulfilling sex keeps you young!

  Thunder
• 

  berylblue

  If your husband is failing you in some way, TELL HIM!

  With all due respect, Thunder....TELL HIM? And risk getting smacked around yet again? I don't think so