By quickly skimming the posts, I see that you've been given much advice. Let's ignore the ones telling you that all you have to do is accept Jesus - let's stipulate that if God helps anyone, it's those who help themselves.
Sounds as if you are looking to determine what you want to do. You've been given much advice that will help you once you decide what to do (don't talk to other witnesses about it, etc.)
Your question was , "If this isn't the truth, where do I go?"
I was raised as a JW. I have been out, because of my own personal choice, for 17 years. I was not DF'd, I have not DA'd - I did what is called around here a "fade". I mention the above only because you may feel it relevant - I place no virtue or preference on having been DF'd or not.
Here's what I have discovered about the "world":
While some people are unkind and unethical, most people are kind and ethical most of the time.
Material success is possible for ethical, compassionate people.
Sex is not holy or unholy - it's actually just private and, unless it involves me or someone not consenting or not of age to consent, it's none of my business.
Unconditional love is a wonderful thing, and it's not allowed by the WTS - love should not be always contingent on performance.
Humans are amazing things, and once we let go of some of our self-imposed limiting beliefs, we are capable of wondrous things - regardless of any quotes about us directing our own step.
A religion is sometimes a source of happiness and I would not deprive anyone of happiness. But it is a comfort adequate for the weak, not or the strong--and you are strong. The great trouble with religion--any religion--is that a religionist, having accepted certain propositions by faith, cannot thereafter judge those propositions by evidence. One may bask at the warm fire of faith or choose to live in the bleak uncertainty of reason, but one cannot have both. Robert A. Heinlein
Best wishes on your journey,
Phantom
