Although I don't personally try to sue anyone, in my heart I do blame the WTS for the direction my life has taken. For someone to take the stand and think they are faultless for deceipt or ruining/damaging lives, is one who did not lose half or more of their life to the JWs. Someone who is not in a situation where they are not allowed to have a normal healthy relationship with family members they love. Someone who is not in a difficult work situation because a JW co worker is unallowed to be 'social' or friendly with because you "left the faith". I can burn my mouth at Mcdonalds on coffee, but walk back in the next day and they still serve me. But be a witness and then decided you don't believe any more. Members are not allowed to talk to you. Explain that one to your boss when you decide to leave and suddenly know the work envirmonment is going to become cold and hostile, only because a JW still there must now shun you. For wrong doing? No. For you making the choice to not believe in this organization you will be punished. You can't just quit and live a normal life. You can't just quit and have JW neighbors treat you decent. Smile as you pass. No, suddenly you are the enemy. You have the plague. Cross the street rather than walk by in close contact. Why? Because you did something to them? No. Because this religion dictates they can no longer associate with you.
So before thinking there is no one to be blamed, try having your life dysfunctional because of how this WTS dictates people to treat you, even though you live a good decent life.
~~Sassy~~
I have a hard time blaming the Watchtower
by spiritwalker 132 Replies latest jw friends
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Sassy
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Prisca
Excellent post, Spiritwalker.
Whilst things are not all black and white as they have been presented by you, by and large we have to accept some responsibility for the fact that we became JWs and lived that way of life for some period of time.
This board does foster a mentality of shifting blame for one's life onto others, yet personal growth and maturity does not start until we begin to accept responsibility for our own actions. We cannot continue to blame the Borg for ruined lives once we have been out of it for a while. It's not easy starting life in a world we were taught to hate, a world that we didn't expect to be around for very long, but it can be done. And how we live our lives in this world is dependant upon us, not others.
Accepting responsibility also means we can live much happier lives too. Continually trying to shift the blame onto others only encourages fostering of hate, anger and bitterness because we use it as a way of justifying the way our lives have turned out. But if we accept that some, if not all, of our problems are a result of our decisions, then we learn from our mistakes and get on with life.
Positivity not negativity is the only way to improve one's quality of life. Continuing to blame others for the consequences for our decisions is not only immature, but soul-destroying as well.
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Englishman
............... personal growth and maturity does not start until we begin to accept responsibility for our own actions. We cannot continue to blame the Borg for ruined lives once we have been out of it for a while. It's not easy starting life in a world we were taught to hate, a world that we didn't expect to be around for very long, but it can be done. And how we live our lives in this world is dependant upon us, not others
I couldn't agree more. Once we take responsibility for where we find ourselves, we then start to regain our own power. We actually do empower ourselves when we take responsibility - note I'm not using the word "Blame" here - for where we have finished up. Having taken that responsibility gives us the power to make changes.
If we make the mistake of blaming for too long, we just become helpless and finish up at the mercy of those who would manipulate us.
Englishman.
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LeslieV
Just as a side point the reason the woman won her lawsuit against McDonalds was because it was found that McDonalds was using substandard coffee beans. The coffee beans had to be heated at a higher temperature in order for the coffee flavor to be released. The temperature was higher then Department of Health allows. That is why when it fell on her crotch it produced third degree burns. McDonalds has now changed the coffee beans that it uses and thus you are not as much at risk.
As far as the Watchtower being responsible for what has happaned in my life and others. I certainly believe that they are masters in mind control. For myself I was raised in a family that goes back to Russell. When you are raised that way there is no free thought allowed. I was not encouraged to go to college etc. Anything that would open your mind to anything besides watchtower dogma. I had to go back to school as an adult and after leaving this religion. The watchtower also preys on the vulnerable in our world. They are responsible for placing hope to many that is false. I also protected the Watchtower when I first left...it is leftover allegience that has been programmed in your brain. It takes sometime for your brain to be clean. For many it will last a lifetime. I do not believe anyone comes out of this controlling religion unscathed. You can go on with your life, and live it to the fullest but many of us will never forget. It has become a part of what we are today. For myself that is what I take from it. I think it has made me a compassionate loving person because I know what it is like to be judgmental and uncaring. I was that person when I was a JW and know I do everything in my power to be the exact opposite.
Leslie
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Pistoff
I strongly object to your argument. You are arguing for personal responsibility, which I do agree with; but you are willing to ignore the concept of CORPORATE responsibility. If we are responsible as individuals to be smart consumers, so to speak, then corporations should not be exempted from being good citizens; this precludes lying and misrepresenting facts to separate us from our money/support.
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freedom96
One major problem I agree with is that the WTS does not permit free choice, and thinking for oneself.
Also, many grew up as a witness, as I did, and had no choice in the matter. While we can grow from this experience, and not allow it to dictate what we do with the rest of our lives, the fact is that it exists, and is pure evil.
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czarofmischief
We do bear some responsibility, because we listened to them. They were the conmen, we were the rubes.
So yes, it is true, if we didn't listen to them, if we didn't believe them, if we had been smart enough to see through their lies right away, then yes, we could have been much happier and we wouldn't have screwed up our lives as much as we have.
In a sense, our future happiness is dependent completely on our own actions. Nobody is going to go to college for us, nobody is going to reimburse us for the lost years and wages, and nobody is going to help us build new social webs. We have to do that on our own. So yes, I assume responsibility for all my actions from this point, because I've seen through the lies.
But I emphatically refuse to absolve the WT for the way my life sucked up until I left. I was born in the "troof" and was raised to believe that the GB radiated holiness and that the angels watched over every meeting, and that Jehovah helped me write my talks. My parents fed me that line. I don't absolve them of their culpability, although I forgive them. I forgive the society, in the sense that I'm moving on with my life, but I will never forget them lying like they did. I will never teach anything they say again. I will raise my children to watch out for religious shysters and lawyers. I spend a great deal of time on this board, denouncing the WT for all to see, precisely because I cannot forget the way I was manipulated. Nobody bothered to tell me the truth about the borg until I got onto this board, and I will shout the truth about those manipulating bastards until I turn to dust.
If you fell for a con game - whose fault is it? Is it your fault for being a trusting sort? Especially if you've never run across a con game like it before? If you bought Enron stock because the executives said it was a good buy, whose fault is it when the stock tanks because of that executive's misdealings? Is it your fault for being a well-intentioned person who really believed that God's Kingdom was going to solve all the problems? When the Society grabbed you by your sympathetic "hooks" with pictures of starving children and said, "Our way is the solution to all of that," does it make you especially gullible or stupid for buying into it, even passionately?
No! It is not our fault for being good people who genuinely thought we could help others by following the Society! It is not our fault for being suckered in with their too-good-to-be-true promises that were quoted straight out of the Bible, for God's sake!
What about those who have learned the truth about the troof, but still remain in?
People who have bought these lies for so long have no other life options left! They have no degrees, no friends, an overriding sense of guilt and fear... they've been tricked into slavery with lies and deceit. It is hard to become free! How much fault resides with the dealer and how much with the buyer? At a certain point, the religion becomes like an addiction, with the borg feeding on the weakness and misery of the dubs. They could choose to become free people again, but the process is insanely painful, thanks to the borg's careful construction.
So yeah, I fell for it. But never again. I will vent my spleen on those who abused my trust. Anybody who will listen will hear about my anger and my humiliation!
CZAR
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Sassy
my biggest complaint is not that I lost all those years of things I missed out on.. yes, by allowing myself (although blinded) to be in it from birth I accept some responsibility in that but the fact that you just can't say OK, I don't want to be a JW any more and be done with it. You have to be treated by others as if you are deserving of punishment forever and ever (unless you return to the fold). There by THEIR actions NOT YOURS continue to impact your life.
I also blame the WTS for taking a mother away from my sister at age 14 and not allowing her in her life for all these years.
~~Sassy~~
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acsot
Who but the WBTS is to blame for the endless mind-rape of women and children in dreaded interogations conducted by warped old men in the back-room of every Kingdom Hall? Who else is to blamed for the callous rape, mutilation and murder of men, women and children thrown to Dr.Bandas thugs in Malawi?
Very good point re Malawai vs. Mexico. These were corporate decisions made at the highest level of the WTS and yes, they are to blame for the rapes and deaths of the JWs in Malawi. They are responsible for making the Malawian JWs feel that this was God's will, and that disobeying Him would be a fate worse than torture and death.
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Nosferatu
Hello spiritwalker. I agree with what most people said, but your comments also have SOME validity. We are definately responsible for our own actions, but sometimes we are decieved into making our own actions.
I, for one was basically raised in the truth. When children are young, they know no other authority than their parents. In a child's eyes, their parents are the most knowledgeable people in the world. Anything the parents say is true. When I was told that Jehovah would destroy me at armageddon if I didn't worship him, I believed it. How could I decide at age 5 that the WTS would ruin my life? I couldn't. I had no choice but to believe it.
As for people who join in their adulthood, most of them had a crappy life previous to the JWs. When you feel like shit and another person says "do this and you'll feel better", you'll try it, won't you? When you're desperate, you'll try anything to make you feel better. The WTS trains it's followers that they improve people's lives. The followers then reach out to others who have crummy lives, and "help them improve it". Human nature is to help others, and that's all the JWs are doing. However, JWs are just passing on their own deception.
Taking our own action comes by getting out of a bad situation we somehow got into. I didn't decide to take action and get myself into a mind control cult, but I took action to get myself out of it. Taking action is being aware of your situation, and doing something to change it. Were you aware that you were getting yourself into a mind-controlling religion? Were you aware that it wasn't right for you when you got out?
You were decieved into it, but you took action to get out. Big difference.