Thinking of becoming a JW - Need urgent honest advice!!!

natalienu

I have met a wonderful man but unfortunately he is a JW. I have never been interested or really ever been around any religion in my life so all of this right now is very fascinating to me. I have been thinking of studying to become one but am also having a hard time finding anything on the net that is positive about it. JW?s of course will just say it is because the truth and so many are against it.

Can anyone honestly tell me if I am just better off staying as I am. I have a wonderful life as it is , have my own house at 26, a good job, a normal loving family, no childhood issues, I am just a normal woman really. So , if fascinated by it because of this man, is it a good idea to start studying and get baptised next year?

Wolfgirl

My honest opinion:

Don't do it. You would eventually regret it, and it would cause relationship problems. I can't tell from your post if he is interested in you or not. But if he really loved you, he would accept you for who you are, and not expect you to conform to his religious beliefs to be "worthy" of him. In my opinion, you would chafe under JW rules, and it would become a source of contention between you.

I've been married twice. Once to a JW, and once to a "worldly" person. My marriage to the JW ended after 1 year. It was horrible. I am a strong, independent woman, and I know now that I could never follow the JW rules for wives.

My marriage to my athiest husband is wonderful! He respects me for who I am, appreciates my intelligence, listens to my opinions, and we work together as a real team. We have never had a serious argument, only differences of opinions. He truly loves me and accepts me for who I am. He would never try to change me.

Don't do it. You will regret it.

And yes, JWs are a cult. Take it from someone who escaped.

Vivamus

From the bottom of my heart: NO, it is not.

When you are a JW, and truly believe in it, it feels like the best thing ever happened to you. You are surrounded by people who think like you, act like you, and believe like you. They feel like your family, best friends and you will feel at home whenever you enter the Kingdom Hall.

Note, that is when you truly believe, and are in good standing.

The problem is, that when you express doubts, or desires to act just a little bit different from the rest, the so called sh*t hits the fan. Because as a dub, you are required to follow every command given to you. Individual thoughts are not allowed. No JW will admit this, and I don't even think they feel like this, cuz most of them are conditioned to think like the Watchtower wants them to think, so every thought they have, feels like their own.

If you want to talk about it, feel free to mail me at [email protected]

-

Blue Bubblegum Girl

SixofNine

JW?s of course will just say it is because the truth and so many are against it.

Yes, and as a JW I would have said the same thing. But now I look around and realize that people in general are not against something "just because it's the truth". That's just not human nature, in spite of the JW organization having taught me from childhood that it is.

Even a little clear eyed research will show you that JW doctrine isn't "truth" at all, but rather, "truth" is "whatever-the-governing-body-says-it-is". Can you be happy living under that definition of truth? I sure couldn't be, much as I tried.

Can anyone honestly tell me if I am just better off staying as I am.

Yes, me. Jehovahs Witnesses, by and large, are not happy people. Just try to find a sub-set of witnesses that match your own profile in terms of happiness and contentment and material comfort in life at your age (or any age, for that matter).

asleif_dufansdottir

I have never been interested or really ever been around any religion in my life so all of this right now is very fascinating to me.

JWs just L-o-o-ve to study with people like you...very vague ideas about religion = very easy to convince (usually)

Can anyone honestly tell me if I am just better off staying as I am.

YES!

So , if fascinated by it because of this man, is it a good idea to start studying and get baptised next year?

NO!!

Seriously, do some research on the harm this organization has caused. How much experience in general do you have, relationship-wise?

Read some of the threads on this board from "worldly" girls who were steamrolled by JW guys.

Are you aware of the controversy over the covering up of child sexual abuse in congregations throughout the world? That victims were disfellowshipped if they didn't keep quiet (to avoid making JWs look bad)?

If you had children, would you let one of them die rather than get a blood transfusion?

Are you willing to let this organization dictate every detail, and I mean every detail of your personal relationship (what kind of sexual position is acceptable and when married persons should or shouldn't have sex), your marriage, your job, what kind of car you drive, how you spend your money, your whole life? That the elders in the congregation to which you are assigned will feel it is their perfect right to inquire about these things and pass judgement on them, and be obeyed?

Are you aware that a "proper" JW will, whenever confronted with any decision from, "what kind of job should I have" to "should my children attend college", will not think for him- or her-self but rather look up an answer in the many many volumes of stuff this organization has published?

I could go on for ages...just keep reading stuff and talking to people...make sure if you decide to study and join (are you sure he'd follow through even if you did get baptised? that can be frowned on...marrying someone who joined just to get married to you) that you know what you're getting into!

And, romantic notions of love aside, why would you turn your life over to some guy anyway...why isnt' he leaving the religion to be with you if you're so in love?? Big red flag!

edited to remove red font - Scully

Black Sheep

There are many articles on the web that challenge JW faith.

If he can read those challenges and see where he has been led astray by the WTB&TS then you may have a very good man.

If he is totally blinded by them, leave him alone.

Just the fact that he is considering a life with a 'worldly wife' is a good sign, but he must see the reality of the lies behind the Troof if he is ever going to be completely free of them and be fully able to devote himself to being a good husband to you.

asleif_dufansdottir

Oh, and before I forget...are you aware of the JW rules for the husband and wife relationship? That the men make the decisions and the women have to live with it? That abused wives have been "counseled" by the elders and even threatened with disfellowshipping for wanting to leave husbands that beat the crap out of them? That if he's beating you and or the kids the standard advice is "pray more, be more submissive, be a better wife and don't give him reason to beat you"?? And, of course, calling the cops is a no-no because that might "bring reproach on the congregation"...

That the man is referred to as the woman's husbandly owner??? (no I am not kidding, they are dead serious about this)

You should think very seriously about getting into a relationship with a man who has been raised with this mentality. Not all JW men are abusive bastards but I certainly wouldn't take that chance.

gumby

Welcome nat,

Let's say you hook up with this man and a few years go by. You get baptised and have children together. You make many friends in this Organisation and you are happy. Then one day you decide you cannot believe anymore, some of the things you were taught. Now you are confronted by the elders in your hall about this matter, and you insist you cannot believe some of their teachings. They disfellowship you and now all the friends you have made will not speak to you. Your husband is so bothered by this, it either breaks or strains your marriage considerably.

Is this the type of Organisation you want to be involved in? My two grandkids live next door and I cannot see them, or my daughter. I am cut off for the reasons I just explained and so are thousands of others that were affiliated with this group cut off from their loved ones and friends.Once you are in....you cannot leave without major consequences from them....believe me!

Stick around here awhile and you'll change your mind about wanting a life as a Jehovah's Witness.

Gumby

Narkissos

Welcome Nat!

Honestly: don't.

You will learn a lot here about what JWs really are. But you also need to work on formulating your own view of life and trust it. It is of more value to you than any supposed religious "truth". If your JW loves you he will love it.

Take care,

Narkissos

Guest 77

I'm going to let you answer your own question. First, let me quote you. You said you have "A normal family...I am just a normal women really."

Do you want to stay Normal?

Guest 77

Thinking of becoming a JW - Need urgent honest advice!!!

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