Last evening I recieved an e-mail from my aunt who is not a JW, and she told me that my mom was taken to the hospital with a serious bowel obstruction. My aunt knowing our family sitution felt it would be a good time to see what your mom would do. So I called my sister who lives not to far from me. We had not spoke to one another for the same number of year. She felt that I might be a good idea, as she is ill and you are her daughter and maybe she will recieve you. Well I told my sister I would go over to the Hospital today. Well Marco and I went over to the hospital, she was on the 5th floor as I got off the elevator and made my turn towards her room, she was coming down the hallway. (Marco was parking thecar by the way). There she was staring at me for the first time since I had left the organization. Four years. As she drew closer to me she turned away, but I kept making my approach. I reached to touch her hand again she withdrew. Then she turned an asked me how I knew she was in the hospital, and I told her aunt mary did. I also called my sister and she told to me that you were quite ill. So that is way I am here to see you. And to let you know that I care that you have been sick.
Mom said you9Terry) know the rules, you are the one who left us and so that is the way it has to be. In her sickness she still was nasty as she is when she is fine. Oh I told her, mom I never ever left you or the family it was the organiztion I left. Well she said don't talk about the organization. I said I I know that and I wasn't going to discuss the orangization . I just came to see you as I heard you were quite sick. Even though she can be harsh and nasty she kept quite for a few minutes. I said would you like a picture of Marco and I on our vaction this past year. So she took them. And then Marco showed up and he seen I was crying. My mother said hello to Him and asked what was wrong and I said nothing dear. I was just giving mom a few pictures ffrom our vaction. My mom said are you taking good care of Terry?, and he said yes and I love her with all my heart. I think my mother was set a back. She asked how Marco was feeling. etc.
My mother was starting to get yanzie so she and Marco chatted a min or so, and then he said it was time for us to go because it was storming. How can my mother be so callous, hard hearted I will never uderstand. But then she put her hand on me and whissper that she loves me. With that I wanted to go, sure she said she loved me but she shed not a single tear. She was almost like a stone. I am so upset from all of this and I am disappointed because of her attitude. What brainwashing they go through. But even if I tried t o tell her that she would never believe me. She is forever a staunch hard nosed JW.
I am really sad now and haven't stopped crying . What a great was to start my Christmas holidays.
Well I will try to deal with it and get on with living as I am sure they will never ever change. I also told my mom that please don't be annoyed with Aunt Mary she just felt she was helping and because she really doesn't know the stupid rules of JW, its no reason to become mad at her. She my aunt hates seeing this terrible rift. And she hates Jehovah's witness, because they lie.. She says does'nt your family know what showing mercy is all about.? I told her its the rules and they rather go by these rules than the natural laws that God endowed upon us as His creation.
I know now that I have lost my family forever. How sad, how cruel and shameful. God please grant me the strength to get me through this day and not to go insane.
All my love
Orangefatcat.