It's hard to write the feelings I am having after just finding this thread ! Here is just a short list covering where I am...
Fear of abandonment... absolutely, unequivocally... so much so that I dare anyone to try to get close to me . I'm working on this.
Codependency... extremely... I know I can save you, if you would only listen to me. Look, I read it right here. . I'm working on this.
Social Idiot Savant... don't really know, but I always have that feeling of being unaccepted, slowing down the party, going too deep, not going deep enough... . I'm working on this.
Lack of Intimacy... what's intimacy... Isn't that when you say you care about me, so I start dumping all my emotional issues on you and scare the h*ll out of you, then proclaim self-righteous rights to be myself since you care so much. . I'm really, really working on this one.
Emotionally unstable... can you spell BPD (It feels like it sometimes)... You try living with forever with all the trivia stored in this head that is meaningless in life, useless at parties, causes sever headaches, and comes spilling out at the most inappropriate times.. I'm working on this, too.
I'm still trying to seperate issues, in that my father was (still is) a full-fledged alcoholic, and I'm still trying to figure out if my mom is a closet alcoholic, was a closet alcholic, or just had a few drinks and became codependent... I guess I really don't need to know all this, but it would be nice to be able to talk to your parents, when your in your 40's, at an adult level and learn about your past. I would gladly do that with my kids. I'm sure I will hate to hear about how "mean" or "stubborn" or "perfect" I was, but I hope to be humble and wise enough to let them express their feelings, and validate them, so that they can carry on...
gambit... *wayward son*