There is nothing wrong with asking questions. You should ask questions, And you should be as prepared as possible. But there is no rush to experiment. It will happen when it happens, and hopefully with someone you care about.
I was 22, and had been a pioneer who had left the religion. I was old enough to know what I was doing and to be "prepared". I was free enough from the religious teachings I had been raised with to enjoy it and not feel any guilt. This was back in the late 70s, and AIDS was not a risk. Today things are very different and you should be prepared to protect yourself ( not only from unwanted pregnancy) from AIDS. It is real and transcends all socio economic and sexual barriers.
Guys in their teens have no intenion of sticking around for the long haul and you are not ready to settle down now either.
And so all guys are the exact same? All teen guys are just in for the sex? Possibly where you live, but not so much around here, and denfinity not me. As I said eariler, I know quite a few couples that met in their mid teens and are now married and have kids.
I know some of you might laugh at this, but missy and i are planning to 'stick around for the long haul' and even longer. We really love each other.
smyler, the only reason that some have tried not to encourage missy or you sexually is because we do care. We haven't forgotten what it was like when we were young and thought we had all the answers. My baby is older than you guys are (19). We do not doubt your sincerity or the ability to take this all through the long hall.
Some of us had children young. I was pregnant before I got married. Do I love my children? Yes! Did the relationship break up in 6 mo? No. We were married 17 years. But it would have been nice to have had more time for each other than a baby first thing. We just want the best for you. If we all jumped in to say things you both want to hear like Nos did, we would not have your best interests. If he had kids, he wouldn't be saying that. He just isn't there yet so it is easier to be a friend. Please do not think we are attacking either one of you or think badly. We just know the human tendencies in all of us.
Smyler, I think that what people are saying is that many people your age think that they are mature enough emotionally and since they are totally committed to their girl/boyfriends that sex is something they are ready for. But looking back (which is something YOU cannot do yet) a lot of them realize they were wrong and they wished they had listened to the 'older and wiser' people. Its nothing personal against you but as a whole it is quite impossible for a 15 year old to be mature enough to handle the consequences of sex should there be any.
I am not against sex at all. I have no moral hang ups about it and I dont think people should wait until they get married to have sex. But I do think that you should realized how HUGE the consequences can be. The entire direction of your life. The entire path that your future takes. Whether you are financially successful and have a great career or whether your career never gets off the ground are truly at stake. IF you do decide to have sex as a teen I do hope you make sure that you not only use birth control but use it correctly. A baby is cute but trust me when you are 25 you will NEED your freedom and time to explore your career options and to meet your goals, it will be hard enough without trying to squeeze in time to help your 10 year old with his/her homework.
OMG did I just lecture a teen on sex? UGH I'm GETTING OOLLLDD!!!
Some people are probably finding it quite amazing that I "shit" all over someone else who is getting married (there was even a separate thread created because of my views), yet I'm actually supporting this
We both feel that we have something great going on, we will be going out for 20 months on Monday!
This is the reason I'm supporting this. These two have been together for almost 2 years and (from what we can tell) haven't had sex yet. I think that's quite an accomplishment for even 2 teenagers. How many adults can be with another person for that length of time and not have sex? I realize that their bodies are still developing but they've reached the stage where they both consider themselves ready to do this for the first time - together.
As far as the long haul goes, teenagers cannot picture the long haul because of their lack of experience in dating, lack of adult responsibilities, and lack of life itself. The only way to learn about these is to actually go out and do this stuff. There's a first time for everything.
All I hope is that these two learn a LOT from their experience together. I hope that they'll be able to look back on this time in their lives and learn from any mistakes they happen to make because of lack of experience. That's how you gain experience.
As far as the long haul goes, teenagers cannot picture the long haul because of their lack of experience in dating, lack of adult responsibilities, and lack of life itself. The only way to learn about these is to actually go out and do this stuff. There's a first time for everything.
I agree with the first part of this, teenagers cannot picture the long haul because they dont have the experience. But I totally disagree that the ONLY way to learn about these things is to go out and do it. Theres some things that are best learnt the hard way but there are some things that you can learn just from talking to and listening to older and more experienced people and taking them up on their advice.
I dont have to go try heroin or cocaine in order to learn about them. I do not have to experience it for myself to know better. Likewise, a child does not have to touch a hot stove to know its going to burn them. They simply listen to the experience of a parent who tells them and they believe. I dont think that these kids have to experience the negative effects of having sex too early in order for them to know that they are real. They dont need to be teenage parents in order to know that being a teen parent can completely change your life and make it 1000 times harder.
As far as your point of them being together so long and not having sex, thats kinda ridiculous to compare them with adults being together for two years and not having sex. A 13 year olds idea of having a 'boyfriend' is much different than an adults. They lived with their respective parents and probably had a bedtime, how much of that time do you think they actually spent together?
We both feel that we have something great going on, we will be going out for 20 months on Monday!
To me that is reason enough NOT to screw with a good thing by complicating it with sex.
I know some of you might laugh at this, but missy and i are planning to 'stick around for the long haul' and even longer. We really love each other.
smyler
That's good to hear Smyler. With that in mind, when you make your decision, keep in mind what the consequences of sex can have on the "long haul." An early pregnancy when you are both very young would place great stress on your relationship and your ability to take care of your loved one and actually rob you of some of the best times of a life long relationship. My wife and I had children WHILE we were using birth control. Just something to think about.
I dont have to go try heroin or cocaine in order to learn about them. I do not have to experience it for myself to know better. Likewise, a child does not have to touch a hot stove to know its going to burn them.
Why are we even comparing sex to something that is inherently harmful, like heroin, cocaine, or touching a hot stove?
