Cat Dictionary: Contributions Necessary (page 3)

avengers

22 " Monitor. ----Nice and warm cozy place to spend the night on top of.

Desktop. ---- A place to trash when he jumps off of the monitor

Ghosthunter

tabletops: a place to bat everything on to the floor in an attempt to tell the humans that you are hungry or want a treat

catlove: only displayed to the humans when you are tired of hard cat food and want the soft kind

favorite spot: the place where the heat from the furnace is blowing the hardest

mustang

ROADBLOCK: What we renamed my roommate's cat. The cat would race down the hall, passing you and then jump in front of you and stop. The object was to trip you!!!!

Mustang

Nosferatu

These are all from the personal experience of owning my 2 cats.

Refridgerator: A mysterious box where the best of food is kept. Only extremely intelligent cats have mastered the opening of the fridge door.

Cooked Ham: After the intelligent cat has mastered opening the fridge door, this package must be pulled out of the fridge for taste testing. Only the corner shall be nibbled on, and the rest left on the floor.

Closing of the Fridge Door: Unknown and unnecessary in the Cat world.

Leftover Thanxgiving Turkey: An increcible feast. Extra enjoyable if the pot is pulled out of the fridge unspilled.

Humorous Revenge: Opening the fridge door for the less-intelligent cat to look for food. When the other cat is inside, close the fridge door. The master will get a surprise when he opens the fridge to get a beer.

Fridge Freezer : Where the Master has decided to keep the catnip. Only extremely intelligent cats have mastered the opening of the fridge freezer door.

Catnip Thieving: A very rewarding job if opening the fridge freezer has been successful. A time for overdose.

Fresh Cat Litter: A race to see who can pee in it first.

Informing Sleeping Masters: The best way of informing your Master that you're sick is to vomit directly on his face while he's sleeping.

Human Penis: A cat toy built onto your master

Sink: A nice, cool resting place

Shower Curtain: A tree

Shower Curtain Rod: A balance beam for cats

Dead Rabbit: An incredible gift for your master

Dead Family of Rabbits: An honorable achievement, and a reason for your master to be proud of you.

Chicken Bones: Gold to be unburied from the bottom of the trashcan

Angharad

Empty box : A place for me to sit in, no matter how hard it is for me to fit in it.

Map or newspaper spread on floor : Something to me to roll over and dive under suddenly scaring the crap out of my human

Angharad

Fresh Cat Litter: A race to see who can pee in it first.

addendum : and how much we can flick all over the floor

Billygoat

You guys...these are so hysterical! AND TRUE!!!

Badger

Bath: A most untoward event, in which a human sumberses cat into an overgrown aquarium (see below) with the end of applying a most malodorous foam. All cats are urged to resist baths and any other form of submersion with all available strength and ingenuity. If human is successful in applying bath, give the evil eye (see below)

Aquarium: An enclosure of water, containing many tasty fish. Human provide these for cat much in the same manner that human eateries provide similar tanks containing lobsters for selection.

Evil Eye: A non-vocal way to show displeasure. Best when coupled with the Battle Station post (see below)

Battle Station: A cat ready for combat (playful or otherwise) must turn their ears backwards to show opponent that listening is over. (hardly a decisive statement, however...cats never listen anyway).

Child: Human kittens, endowed with greater mobility and strength but considerably less sense. Three general types exist: 1. Alllergic Child: This type reacts with symptoms of disease at a cat's presence. Do your best as a cat to console such a young one with all your affections. 2. Good Child: Likey to be your own child (see ownership) or one you have raised yourself. This child is easily trained and will often lavish you with timely petting and prompt food service. 3. Bad Child. These have little experience in dealing with felines, and show it. Will try relentlessly to conduct their own explorations of your ears, tail and legs, and carry you where you don't wish to be. A summary claw strike will disuade these from further violations.

Ownership: the state of connection and service between you and your designated human. Humans may fantastically refer themselves as the owners of the cat. Such delusion cannot be adequately addressed or corrected by cat to their human.

Yerusalyim

DRAPES: The prefered method of reaching the top of a room for no matter what reason. Discerning cats prefer really expensive drapes.

Valis

mutlicolor spew: the blob/mixture of catfood, hair and stomach stuff your cat so lovingly places on sofa for you to sit on.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Cat Dictionary: Contributions Necessary

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