I knew I couldnt avoid them forever... Hi there, new here (page 2)

anglise

Dont forget you can always plead "womans troubles" as a reason to the elders. They wont like to delve too deeply after that.

Could win you some time to think.

Anglise

Hiya, Butterfliez, and welcome to JWD....glad you've come forward, sweetie....just remember...if things get really rough, there's always Child Protective Services....they might even help you get emancipated from this situation.....

Frannie B

Nosferatu

I must say, you sound like one hell of an intelligent person for a 16 year old. You're going to make an excellent adult!

I've sorta been through the same thing, except I was never baptized. I couldn't talk on the phone to girls, I couldn't hang out with worldly friends, I wasn't even allowed to get a job! I had to stick it out until I was 18. I used to fake having lots of homework to get out of going to the meetings, but there was no escape on Sundays.

I agree that having the car break down is a good idea. Just go out and say that you have to do some running around before the meeting with the elders. Then when you leave the store (or whatever), the car doesn't start. Sounds good to me!

Ultimately, things aren't going to stop at least until you turn 18 and can make up your own mind. Moving out would be a good idea as well, but I doubt you need that much pressure throwing school and work on top of that.

I know how you feel about never wanting to attend another meeting for as long as you live, but sometimes it's good to show up every once in a while to keep everyone quiet. Since you don't have a car, you don't have to stay for the whole meeting (unless you drive your mom and grandmother). However, if you end up facing the elders, remember that you still think that this is Jehovah's Organization. Putting in fake field service slips will also keep them off your back - many here have done that.

All I have to say now is good luck on whatever you decide.

reboot

((( Hi and welcome Butterfliez ))) I'm really impressed the way you've worked so hard to start to sort through your life and begin exit from the org so positively -well done.

you've had some great advice-I'd echo it and say not to meet up with them for as long as you can help it-they should allow you time as they should be thinking helping you not alienating you...making excuses may even allow you to fade in time... hope to see alot more of you

cruzanheart

Welcome, Butterfliez! You sound like an awesome teenager -- hope my two kids grow up with that kind of common sense. I'm sorry for your situation -- just be glad that this is the beginning of your life and you won't be trapped forever.

I think you've received some good advice, so pick the one that feels most comfortable for you. And let us know what happens!

Love,

Nina

Strawberryfieldsforever

Welcome!

I couldn't do anything as a teenager either. I didn't have any friends at school and I didn't have any friends at the hall. My dad wasn't a JW and so I really wasn't in to alot of stuff at the hall. The only thing that kept me from going under were my horses. I could be free when I'd go out and ride! Met a few boys too! Thank God my mother didn't know, but what I'm saying is that it gave me some freedom to be a normal teenager. I don't know what I would have done without that.

I think Frannie Banannie made a good point about the Child Protective Services. They would be more than glad to help you out and maybe get you in a new place to sort things out without everyone pressuring you at home. It will probably get the elders off your back too. Good Luck!

Strawberryfieldsforever

imallgrowedup

Welcome, Butterfliez!

I am very impressed with your ability to articulate yourself so well in writing! You obviously have used your time well in regards to your education. You need to keep doing what you are doing, because you will find that your absolute best ticket to freedom is a college education.

As far as your current situation goes, right now - if you do not have a viable escape plan, (car or no car, job or no job), you are still living under your grandmother's roof and if she is as cut-throat as you say, she may have no qualms about tossing you out on your ear. (I don't know what the emancipation age is in your state, but here in CA, it is 16, so you may want to know what that age is before you decide what to do about your Saturday meeting - especially in the event you have no backup plan.) If you don't have one, you need to consider where you would go. If there are no friends or relatives you can stay with, do you have enough money saved to put a deposit on a an apartment, and do you make enough to make the rent, utility, auto insurance payments also? If not, are you willing to live in your car or at the "Y"? These are things to think about before deciding what to do. I personally feel that you need to take into consideration the consequences before deciding whether to allow yourself to be DF'ed first.

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you make many friends and find much support here on the board! Please keep us all abreast of what you decide to do and how things turn out!

growedup

Winston Smith :>D

Welcome Butterflies,

It's a pleasure to have you here on the board.

It amazes me the level of maturity that you and some other's your age that are here on the board display.

You would have put some of us adults here to shame when we were your age

Can't say much more than what has already been said.

I like the police idea from Amazing just for the shear 'shock' value that it would give the elders.

I'd imagine the elders would have to change their 'depends' after seeing you show up with a police officer

Otherwise just a couple of pointers:

1. Admit nothing. The more info you give them, the more reason they will have to DF you. Don't give them fuel to roast you in a JC fire.

2. If you do end up talking to these elders, avoid talk of any spiritual matter or that questions their authority. I like the idea of saying that you are not doing as much due to anything else that has been mentioned; i.e., woman problems, tired, teenager angst, job, car, depression - that's always a good one, anything. The minute you start to question any of their teachings or their authority is the minute you will start to be viewed as the enemy.

3. Is your brother a JW or not? Does he live on his own or not? Just wondering that if he is a respeonsible non-JW adult on his own, he may be a back-up plan if things get ugly.

Follow your heart and be true to yourself.

You'll know what you should do as it seems you have been quite methodical about this, impressive!

Good luck!

Paul Griger [Winston.]

franklin J

Hi butterfliez, welcome to the forum,

You are among friends here, who have all been there; done that. And survived to talk and occasionally laugh about it.

You must do what is right for you. Do not let the elders bully you. You are your own person and you can decide if you want to "think like them" or not.

You sound like you are instinctively smart and you must follow your instincts. Make lots of friends on the " outside". Pursue your secular education ( it is SO important).

DevonMcBride

Hi Butterfliez and welcome. The above advice is great. I would use school as an excuse. Tell them you are swamped with school work. Avoid the meeting if you can.

Devon

I knew I couldnt avoid them forever... Hi there, new here

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