I knew I couldnt avoid them forever... Hi there, new here (page 3)

Kymegg

I know this isn't much help, but you'd be amazed at the people who want to help you. I only wish I were in a position to tell you to come stay with me. If it weren't for the fact that we're complete strangers and I have no idea where you are; I have the room. I'm sure there are plenty of other people who feel that way

foreword

My son went through the exact same situation, even the grand mother thing. He got DF, contacted me (cause they couldn't stop him anymore), so now we have a good relationship even if it had been severed for 15 years.

Welcome

I got baptized at 18, and by 19, I was ready to get married. In Canada, some elders were recognized by the legal system to perform marriages, so of course, being a JW, I contacted one to get married. He didn't like me, thought I was a cocky little bastard (which I was....LOL) and refused to marry me. He thought we were too young (which was true), but anyway.....

When he told me he wasn't going to marry me...(two weeks before the ceremony) his conscience wouldn't allow it he claimed....... I didn't say anything and setup to get married by a Justice of the Peace officer. Whoa....when they found out that I was getting married outside their arrangement, on the arranged date (without a glitch), and without even discussing the matter with them, they scattered like cockroaches under light, it was truly funny. They hate it when you go get outside help, it brings reproach on the org. they claim A meeting was setup with four elders, plus the elder that didn't want to marry me, my wife, the mother in-law ....and there I was sitting with all the power and a big grin on my face as I watched the elder beg me to allow him to marry me. So yes we did have a nice theocratic marriage, with the loving elder performing it having to put up a front and hating every minute of it..........

So that said, you need to contact a lawyer, or at least threaten to contact one. Call the elder, tell him you will not be meeting with them until you find proper legal advice. If they wish to discuss, you require that your lawyer be present (and stick to it). If the threat (or bluff of it) is not enough to keep them off your back, well...you are a minor, and you can easily find legal advice, especially when it comes to family issues, emotional or physical abuse and harassment. A legal aid lawyer would certainly look into the matter and have a field day with these guys. Trust me, the elders won't even want to go there until you're 18.

Good luck, keep us posted.

mustang

Welcome, butterfliez,

I am still reading all this. I may have another comment after I finish, but I couldn't wait.

I have 30 years of battling a dominating Dub father after I quit pIONEERING. I know what you are going through.

I basically "did as I was told" to keep the peace until I made good an escape. I prefer and recommend the "low key", "low profile" approach as opposed to the confrontational apporach. Towards the end, @ the KH, I nodded and smiled a lot. And I didn't say anything: I was very non-commital.

But, talk to the eLDERS or don't: you choose. However, to maintain some control of the situation, when they show up, DEMAND that you only speak to one of them. The "gang-up" approach is never a good sign. Keep you grandmother out of it and limit it to ONE eLDER!!!

Been there... Mustang

Special K

Welcome to the forum butterfliezs

You seem mature for your age...

sincerely

Special K

Country_Woman

welcome ((Butterfliesz))

hope that everything turnes out for the best.

mustang

I've read more now.

All the NON-SCRIPTURAL excuses you can dream up is a good idea. Don't go near doctrine.

The policeman is an interesting idea. Explain to them that this is an "intervention" type of meeting with Church members and that you are under-age. You wish to retain control of the situation.

I've seen police engaged in domestic (and other) confrontations, with my neighbors and roommates. THEY ARE THERE TO KEEP THE PEACE. They will physcially separate the different parties. Then, they will likely stand by and watch the conversation, in such an instance. That is, as long as things are PEACEFUL.

In many jurisdictions the definition of "Breach of Peace" (equivalent to "Disturbing the Peace") is keyed to loud voices and the presence of women or children. Do remember that if ANYBODY raises their voice, the officers will GO TO WORK!!!!

If you elect this scenario, you must have "all your ducks in a row" and be prepared to deal calmly with what transpires. You can also call it quits any time you choose.

Now, be aware that this will send an extremely powerful message. I'm not sure that we have any experience base on this board as to what that is. And it could do something unexpected.

If this were to become a common practice, this would undoubtedly shift the WTS strategy of approaching people.

That would be interesting...????

Those are the possible pro's & con's of this unusual situation.

Sorry to do this , but:

Disclaimer: nothing that I write or utter is to be considered legal advice. Consult proper counsel for such matters.

Further, all that I write or utter, is protected by religious freedom under the 1st Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, as the "free exercise", as well as "freedom of speech" clauses.

Mustang

SpunkyChick

Heya and welcome to the board!

Galimo

Greetings,

I am new here myself. For more than a decade i was kicked out of the organization, after being more than a decade inside the organization. It was truly my fault i got kicked so I dont have second thoughts about that (Young and stupid). But I have come to realize that I don't love God enough to truly do what he commands us to to in the Bible. That is if you agree that the Bible is the word of God, after all the Bible DOES have a lot of dos and don't a true fellower of God should follow. I certainly dont like proselitizing going from door to door. But then again maybe i am just a lazy git. hehe (I also dont like going 3 times a week to any meetings)

But i have a strong oppinion about the following: Once a JW it is next to impossible to adopt any other religion unless you lobotomize yourself.

You might disagree with many of their "ways" but overall the quality of the information you are fed inside the organization is quite good, information regarding the Bible and how the big organized religions of this world have adultered the Word of God.

I continue to read the "Awake" Magazine, no matter how you turn it, it still is a very good magazine with excellent content. I skip most of the "Watchtower" magazine though. And i like the childrens books of bible stories, I read them with my children for they should know what truly is written in the bible and not that catholic or protestant crap they feed them at shool. My children shall make their own decision once they grow.

From an "organizational" point of view: My personal biggest mistake was to get baptized at a rather young age myself. If you are baptized they can kick you. My brother did not get baptized and just simply ceased to go, easy. It bugs me that i got baptized.

*******
Now to your situation: The meetings are normally made with 3 elders against 1 person (you), so they never run out of steam while you struggle trying to answer. It is designed less as a pressure mechanism, but more a self-control mechanism so that one elder does not get overboard (and restrained if needed by the other 2 present).
Depending on what you want to do: I suggest to be passive and submissive. Just nod and tell them you see that they are right and you are "wrong" etc. Just try to "survive" the meeting. Dont be confrontational. Say you "repent" and will try to improve. Say you appreciate that they are concerned for you.
I know what i am talking about for I passed through that too, they don't wish to kick you, they wish to lead the "lost" and "repented" sheep back on track, back to the flock, or try to avoid that it gets on the "bad" track in the first place.
Then after that I would suggest you simply and quietly dissassociate yourself by ceasing to participate less and less in the activities you don't like.

jgnat

Welcome, Butterfliez! Smart and competent woman, you. I know about growing up with a mentally ill momma. Makes you grow up quickly, huh? Lots of good advice here.

I read of one elder's daughter that weasled out of any discipline for partying, drug use, and sleeping around by dumping a bunch of tears and playing her "mental breakdown" card. She claimed she did not remember doing any of those things.

Tears. Lotsa tears.

Oh, yeah, and privately advise the elders that gramma doesn't remember stuff as good as she used to. You have seen her wandering around the house talking to herself.

shera

Hi sweety.Glad your here.Here is a big ***************hugs***************

You sound so bright,glad your here.

I knew I couldnt avoid them forever... Hi there, new here

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