Obiwan, sounds like you were wimpy not just 'nice'. You went from wimpy to self confident. Thats a good thing
Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?
by sandy 58 Replies latest social relationships
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obiwan
Obiwan, sounds like you were wimpy not just 'nice'. You went from wimpy to self confident. Thats a good thing
Whimpy? No. I just caved to a womans wants and needs, while sacrificing my own needs. More like whipped!
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flower
Thats the same as wimpy. Its an unattractive quality when its taken too far. Occasionally giving in is nice. Being romantic is nice too.
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DanTheMan
I think that most guys who are wimpy nice guys have misguided notions as to what women are really like at their core.
They think that women are so nice and sweet and pure, and that being such that they would be attracted to a nice and sweet and pure man. And you certainly couldn't be knocked for reaching this conclusion based on what women *say* they want in a man and what women would *like* us to think about their pure wholesome inner goodness. But you have been duped my friend.
Dan, I'm-such-an-expert class
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flower
LOL oh yea Dan, sounds like you have women all figured out..
NOT!
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Odrade
I think the not-nice guys can be very exciting, but eventually they make a woman unhappy lots more than happy. Part of the excitement is you never know how he is going to behave next. For my emotion, I'd much rather be with a nice guy. I dated a couple of nice guys. (Not the weird obsessive type-- I mean I like the kind who have manners and use them, who are willing to help you out if you want or need it, who are interested in what you have to say, and think your opinions are worthwhile-- you know the type.)
For what it's worth, my husband is a "nice guy." He is NOT a wimp or a pushover, but he doesn't mind going a little out of his way to make my life happier and easier. The first thing that attracted me to him was he's super-smart, then right on the heels of that- he has really good manners.
Here's a for-instance of how nice and supportive he is: He's putting me through school with hardly any complaints of how much time it takes, just because it makes me happy and it's what I want to do. He bought me a laptop so it would be easier to get my homework done at normal hours instead of waiting till I get home then working all night and weekend at my desktop. He's generous with me (time, money and emotion.) This morning I woke up with a migraine, and he rubbed my back and neck for about 1/2 hour. No rewards for him except it made me feel better. He respects my opinions and likes to talk to me. I could go on, but suffice to say, I married a nice guy, and I don't regret it for a minute, our life together is very happy and fairly smooth.
Haha, I'm kind of feeling mooshy today.
O
Oh, and BTW, my "nice guy" does NOT sacrifice his life to me. He has his friends he does things with, and his hobbies, he buys himself presents too if he feels like it. He doesn't ask my "permission." My preferences do not always take precedence, it's a relatively even split. Anyone who knows the two of us would know that takes inner strength on his part, because I tend to be something of a bulldozer about wanting things my way. He is not a wimp.
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gypsygirl3033
Being nice does not mean being some wishy-washy, wimpy, walk-all-over-me type of person. Most people want to be around truly nice people. I don't think truly nice guys (or girls) finish last.
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SixofNine
Actually, nice guys finish FIRST. And f*** you if you disagree.
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Sassy
I was engaged to a nice guy.. a guy who worshiped the ground I walked on.. trouble was, I think I needed just a little 'bad' in him. There was a spark missing, something and I knew my love did not go as deep as he deserved, so I broke it off..
I must admit, I have had a habit of 'bad boys' turning me on..
HOWEVER, I also want to be treated well too.. I need a balance..
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obiwan
Actually, nice guys finish FIRST. And f*** you if you disagree
You first!!