LOL @ doodle-v.
First, let me agree with Sandy. Dusty: WTF, dude?
I've been watching this thread with some interest, because I consider myself to be a nice guy. At first it was disconcerting to see a few women saying that they did not like nice guys, but via the rest of the posts and conversations held in person at this past apostafest, I think the primary problem lies in definitions, as many people have already pointed out on this thread.
For me, being nice and being a pushover are not at all related. Being kind and courteous is not mutually exclusive with having strong convictions and standing up for them. Personally, I'm not at all afraid to defend myself both in writing and in person, and I think my voice is confident when I do. For me, being a "nice guy" means being good-natured and acting with sincerity and empathy for others.
Looking at the issue in the other direction is also illuminating for me. My ideal girl is a "nice girl," but not in the docile, hiding-in-a-corner way. I look for self-assertiveness and confidence, a strong sense of self and individuality, coupled with a good-natured modesty and concern for others. Really, the qualifications for "nice-personhood" in my mind are exactly the same for both guys and girls. Unfortunately, as terms, "nice girl" sounds entirely different from "nice guy" to me, the latter being the better embodiment of the ideal I strive for.
My gosh, that sounds convoluted. Lately I haven't been very articulate. But there you have it.
SNG
