My Story... please don't freak out on me... (page 3)

Big Shooter

Exactly.. the fact of the matter is, the organization is run by imperfect humans.They can make mistakes, yet that is never acknowledged. You cannot read other people literature or views, but they HAVE to read yours. Certain things I could never understand as a kid: Why cant you celebrate birthdays? yes, there are 2 examples in the bible of bad things.. but i'm sorry, i cannot forget the birth of my son or its date, it doesnt mean we go crazy or nuts , drinking and drugs.. but we do have a little dinner to remember. i mean, we can celebrate wedding anniversaries right? but isnt that the same thing? a birthday is an anniversary of your birth!!

amac

A perfect example of the dogmatism. If they want to teach that it might be something to avoid based on the superstition that bad things happened in the biblical accounts, fine. But to DF people who feel there is nothing wrong with it and decide to celebrate them is what a Pharisee would do, not what Jesus would do.

Big Shooter

here's a shocker... my dad just called me to remind me of the assebly this weekend... i swear, i can't take this anymore. i mean , i havent told him how my wife and me feel, so he probably wonders whats going on. I dont know what to do anymore.. I know that worshiping the true God should NOT feel like this...

Balsam

Big Shooter,

I know exactly how you feel. The fear is overwhelming when you finally break down and post here. But everyone is wonderful. I came here almost 3 years ago hoping against hope of finding help. The stress of trying to support your new little family and work, go to school is overwhelming hard. Good for you standing up to your Dad. You and your wife take a deep breath and realize that the dogs yelping at your door really can't hurt you.

When my oldest son now 20 wanted to be free of the Elders harrassment who were riding him trying to get him back to meetings or to disfellowship him because the decided he was not going Jehovah's way had a rough time. Finally a friend gave me the outline for a "Baptism Nullification" letter, which said that my son was forced into baptism by his parents, and the congregational Elders, and the JW community. That he could not be disfellowshipped or disassociated. That only an announcement of him no longer being a publisher could be announced. Thus avoiding the shunning process. His Dad did threaten to shun him and has on a minor level such as eating with him in public.

I will use the same process for my 16 year old who is no longer active. The Elders are so far not harrassing him as much probably because of the letter of Nullification we used for his older brother.

Glad you found your way here.

Sincerely,

Balsam

Winston Smith :>D

Hi shooter.

Wow, that took a lot of guts to write all of that!

Your candor with any mistakes you made is a good sign IMO. It shows that you want everyone to lay their cards on the table and play fair. This includes the WTS, but unfortunately, they will not play by the rules. As survivors of the WTS, we try to be more understanding than this, including not judging people. IMO, judging is up to God and no one else.

Yes, the hypocrisy is breathtaking.

Your wife can?t get baptized ?cause she doesn?t get 10 hours/month, oh wait, she?s pregnant and getting married to a baptized publisher, well, now she can get baptized regardless of her 2 hours/month. And don?t compare yourself to others in the congregation, but do make sure you keep with Jehovah?s chariot and get in the monthly average. And make sure to show Christian love to others, as it looks good for ~~the Watchtower Society~~ Jehovah, but be sure to shun anyone in the KH not answering every week at the WT study and who isn?t regular at meetings, plus you must shun anyone who isn?t a JW. Besides, everyone who isn?t a JW will die real, real soon at the ?Big-A?, so what harm can come from shunning them today?

And the rules of shunning protect God?s people and keep the congregation clean! As if God needs harsh rules to protect his people. Is God so weak that he can?t protect his people himself? Does He really need his creation to shun each other to make sure that His protection doesn?t leave them?

Ridiculous!

While I haven?t gone through all that you have, the stress you are feeling trying to operate under such circumstances is something most of us here can understand. It?s suffocating!

I feel that it is commendable that you are able to continue to have a successful marriage in spite of getting married too young, having a child out of wedlock, having an affair, and oh yeah, living in a high-control religious group your entire life under the thumb of an elder of this group.

If you can survive this high-control religious group with your family in tact, you will be able to endure just about anything I would imagine.

Welcome to the board!

***EDIT, Wow, this thread moved about 10 posts from when i hit 'reply' to when I finally hit the 'submit' button :-) ***

Big Shooter

Winston, Reading what you just wrote makes me want to break down and cry... It's exactly how we feel. You know whats really sad though? My wife's parents have studied years ago, but decided to leave for reasons like this. Thru this whole thing, they were so supportive of me. They became like my parents, they didnt judge me, and they didnt talk to me only when it was about religion. They are genuinely good people. They have tried numerous times over the past 8 years to get together with my parents for a tea or coffee, but my parents always manage to come up with an excuse. Like they are busy, or they have things to do. Meanwhile, they have time to assocaite with people in the hall, but because my in-laws are "worldly", heaven forbid. The only time my dad talks to them is when he bugs them about why they havent been coming to the meeting. I'm sorry, but that is not encouraging!! How do you explain yo uonly talk to someone when its about the truth!! arent we supposed to take a personal interest in fellow humans?? dont get me wrong, i love my parents very much, and they did support me thru the affair ... but i just cannot take the pressure anymore!!

Nosferatu

my dad just called me to remind me of the assebly this weekend... i swear, i can't take this anymore.

Yeah, I remember that feeling. It's going to take a while to completely break away from the meetings. Meeting nights will still be "sacred" for a while after you leave, but once you completely form your own life, they'll fizzle out like a bad fart.

One thing that's going to take some time to completely realize is, you're in complete control of your own life. People outside your life can influence the changes you make to your life, but it's you who makes the final choice, and your choices affect YOU the most. You're the only one who can say "Yes, I'm going to the assembly" or "No, fuck that!" Even if you don't tell anyone your choice, you'll tell yourself what choice you've made.

Let me ask you, what's going to be more beneficial to you and your family? Going to an assembly where you sit on your ass for 7 hours, or taking your son to the park, having some fun, and bonding with him?

These are all your choices. You're not living with your parents anymore. They're not always around to pressure you. You have the options of hanging up on them, not answering the phone, lying to them or standing up to them. The only thing that may affect your life is your communication with them. They can't kick you out of the house, they can't ground you, they can't take away privelages. You're in complete control of all those. Use that control to do what's best for you and your family.

Valis

How do you explain yo uonly talk to someone when its about the truth!! arent we supposed to take a personal interest in fellow humans??

Yes, but only to get them to only talk about the "truth"!...That old saying about knowing them by thier works? Well, the JW track record on humanitarian assistance speaks for itself.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Winston Smith :>D

Winston, Reading what you just wrote makes me want to break down and cry... It's exactly how we feel.

Well, I was just getting you back for getting me all chocked up reading your posts

I remember feeling as you do right now.

When I finally realized that judging other people wasn't in my make-up, I broke down and cried over all that I did in my life.

Then I approached a DF'd friend of mine who I had previously shunned and told them that I no longer was going to shun them and then asked for their forgiveness.

That was the first day of the rest of my life.

Welcome to yours...

Best,

Paul [Winston.]

Big Shooter

Funny you say that... I saw one of my friends I grew up with who was DF'd last year in the car, and I waved at him. I mean... why would you ever want to come back to the organization when you cant speak to anyone in the hall, and you cant have worldly friends?? pretty much, you have to be a hermit, and be happy about it !! for heavens sakes, we all make mistakes!!! why do you have to be put on trial in the supreme court??

The worst injustice about this whole thing is that this other "sister" is just going on with her life, pretending like nothing happened!! I mean, I paid for my mistake, I almost lost my family. Yet, my wife has to keep hush hush about it.. well to the hell with that!! She never once said.. I'm sorry for sleeping with your husband.. NEVER!! If youre really remorseful, shouldnt the elders have made sure that she apologized to my wife?? Oh no, of course not!! the tramp sheds a few tears, and she gets off the hook! I dont care anymore if people know what I did!! But its insulting that she can just go on like nothing happened. My wife already said that she would beat the s**t out of her if she ever saw her again.. and I cant blame her. Worst thing is, she is in our circuit, and she goes about like nothing ever happened...

My Story... please don't freak out on me...

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