by WildTurkey 57 Replies latest social humour
"All our bills are paid this month so let's take a collection for a congregation BBQ and a keg of beer."
" Does anyone have any answeres that weren't provided in the WT magazine or in WT publications?"
" Now let's have people come up to the mic and tell how they really feel."
" Was brother so and so lip sinking while reading the WT study article?"
" I think I'll get a tattoo and some piercings after the meeting ."
"sister biguns looks hot to trot tonight ."
"we've hired extra help to do some of the spring clean-up this year so you can all spend more time with your families"
"brothers and sisters could you please turn to page 117 in your book of mormon..."
"we'd like to thank brother so-and-so for doing the sound"
"why don't we let the bible answer that..."
"this afternoon's watchtower study was brought to you by PEPSI- it's the cola!"----> actually this one seems more likely to eventually be a possiblility
It's not a F#@#ING privledge to clean the hall
I know I'm a ministerial servant but brother presiding overseer you can kiss your own ass for now on
No I didn't read another dumbass brother's experience in the watchtower. why? Because it's boring as hell.
No sister dull, that was not an upbuilding talk today, it sucked almost as bad as you did last night
"Hey.....theres shotgun.......that bastard!"
Gumby
"You know, I think there might be something to that evilution thing."
No sister dull, that was not an upbuilding talk today, it sucked almost as bad as you did last night
omg...LOL!!!
Hello brother CO, since your wife probably hasn't had any for a long long long time, do you mind if I take her out back and teach her a few naughty lessons?
Hello brother CO, contrary to popular belief, you're not witty, clever, funny, intelligent, and your eyes do NOT light up a room because your mere presence desires it to.
Wow brother uglyface it is hard to believe they changed the library into a billiards room. Do you wanna play ping pong now?
I admit it, that was me that farted
"Hark the Herald The Angels Sing..."
" instead of going door to door selling magazines; lets collect for a food drive to feed the hungry children of the world"
"lets start an education fund to ensure that all of our young people can aspire to higher education"
"instead of shunning any family member apostates, lets call them all back and tell them that we were wrong, and prove it to them by genuinely welcoming them back"
" lets give the sisters equal billing here, and appoint some female elders "
"LETS TRY TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER"
* po says from podium ' Lets all welcome the co and his wife to our cong, and might I add, isn't the co's wife looking absolutely HOT'?
* po, after saying something particularly stupid says, ' What the hell are all YOU laughing at?'
* po, after getting ripped by co for cong's low hrs, at the next service meeting ' Do you dubbies all know what po stands for? It stands for PISSED OFF gdit! So GET OFF yer asses and put in some time and place some books - I don't care HOW you put those numbers down as long as I don't have to answer to that dumbass co next visit!' ps, 'wasn't his wife absolutely HOT?'
* the truth
* po says, ' We have a special speaker today bros (never mention sis's ) , his name is Raymond Franz, and he will give a discourse today that will absolutely ROCK yer socks off. After he is done, we'll be accepting DA letters in the second school from all the newly informed. All others, if there are any, can stay behind for a free hearing and eye test because yer obviously somewhat deaf and blind.
* At elders meeting: Lets welcome 'candy' to the our meeting folks. She's going to show all of us brothers the dangers of dancing, nudity, the wiles of women, high heels, makeup, and shaving, so we can not only KNOW what is bad, but SEE how it affects us.
boa
