THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN A Kingdom Hall... (page 6)

Valis

And now...Iron Maiden does "We Are JWs" unplugged!

stillajwexelder

Hey fellow elder, does your wife give good head?

heathen

"WTBTS labs has just determined that pussy does stink ."

"Hey everybody get all your demonic possessed stuff ready for the congregation thrift sale."

" We have determined that playing sports just for excercise sucks so let's go out and beat the hell out of somebody."

boa

don't think this one was done

* the WTS has authorized bingo to help the worldwide work so pick up your cards and markers for this friday eve down at the KH

boa

findingme

Announcement during the service meeting:

"Brothers and sisters, don't forget to vote on March 17"

"This Halloween, we would like to encourage everyone to dress in costumes for the door-to-door activity. Perhaps we could exchange our tracts for candy"

"Sister PartyAnimal is looking for a few volunteers to help her with next Saturday's beer bash, being held at the American Legion"

"We will be closing our meeting early tonight, to enable everyone to watch the President's speech at 8 p.m. on CNN"

Association before and after the meetings:

"Joe and I had such great sex last night. Rather than our usual 69 position, we tried..."

"Did you see the lastest Vin Diesel movie? It was kick-ass!"

"Have the condom machines in the men's room been restocked?"

"Do you think this micro mini looks okay on me? How 'bout this halter top?"

Study articles:

"How do I succeed in College?"

"American Flag Etiquette"

Nosferatu

And now...Iron Maiden does "We Are JWs" unplugged!

Valis, you just gave me the horrible thought of Bruce Dickinson singing a Kingdom Melody! Bruce has an awesome voice, but he really shouldn't do that (just like he shouldn't have produced that New Kids On The Block album).

I could see Iron Maiden preforming something like "Moonchild".

"Moonchild, open the seventh seal."

Rabbit

Bro. Rabbit wanted me to remind y'all...Saturday, he found Bro. Ray Franz block buster book, "Crisis of Conscience" at Barnes & Noble...in paperback for $13.95. He did have to order it, so he'll have it to share with those of you in his bookstudy on Tuesday. Oh, this week it's being held at Hooters on Bryant Irvin in Ft.Worth. Casual dress.

Corvin

"The unlevened bread at last year's memorial tasted like ass, and there wasn't nearly enough to go around! It was much better this year."

"Brother, got a light?"

"Say, can I bumb a smoke off of you?"

"We went and saw Hellraiser 4 after the meeting last Sunday! It F-ing rocked!"

"I'm getting new boobs!"

"So, brother 'inactive', how's that Viagra working for you?"

"God I love posting at JWD! What's your nickname?"

THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN A Kingdom Hall...

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