I need some advise (I want to get divorced) (page 5)

Xena

I feel for you Leander....divorce or the contemplation of divorce is never easy. My ex and I left the dubs together so that isn't the formula for staying together either. Sometimes you realize you stayed together for the wrong reasons and you both want different things from life....doesn't mean you don't still care for that person, you just don't want to spend the rest of your life with them. Doesn't make either of you bad people, it's just a sad reality.

Regardless of your decision, I wish you the best and am here if you need a ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on

edited to add a ((((winston)))) ...I hope things work out for the best for you too..your a great guy!

BeautifulGarbage

Thank you for sharing your experience, Winston. It was articulate and heart breaking.

I wish you both well.

shotgun

We may need to start a divorced or soon to be divorced mens section on this forum...There is actually alot us of here with various stories and situations which seem to be pushing us ever closer to something we may have never imagined possible...the Big D.

I spoke with my lawyer today and have an appoinment made which will take me one step closer....every week there seems to be one last straw...Monday night it was BBgun scolding me in front of my wife and a couple relatives because I worship Satan and Jehovah hates me because I don't go to the meetings...my wife clapped her hands and said..From the mouth of babes!

Jumpin Jesus on a pogo stick...I can't live with that treatment for the rest of my life...BBgun will come around once she is not under the constant influence of WT teachings.

Leander....you said

Wow Winston, its like you reached in my head and pulled out the things I was trying to say.

He's a smart little fella for sure, just wait till he reaches in your pants and starts pulling things.

Shotgun

Winston Smith :>D

BBgun scolding me in front of my wife and a couple relatives because I worship Satan and Jehovah hates me because I don't go to the meetings...my wife clapped her hands and said..From the mouth of babes!
shotgun

F' me!

Man, I'm sorry bud, that is just heart breaking!!!

which seem to be pushing us ever closer to something we may have never imagined possible...the Big D
shotgun

I thought you were goign to say this:

which seem to be pushing us ever closer to something we may have never imagined possible...~~the Big D~~ going gay

LittleToe

Winston put it very well. I have to concur with some of his points, too.

One thing I will say about separation (I can't speak to the subject of divorce, since British law requires a two year separation before proceedings can begin) is that it's very hard.
I spent the first couple of months grieving, and crying a lot.
It was all dredged up again when the first anniversary came along.

It rips you in two. There is no easy way to make that break, and it's compounded when you love that person but you truly can't live with them. It's now over eight months, for me (though my wife informs me that the few months that I spent in the back room can count towards the two years required

I finally posted about my separation a couple of months ago, and have to say that the event was at least as hard as leaving the borg:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/20680/1115138/post.ashx#1115138

Revisiting the subject by reading and contributing to this thread has brought up some horrendous emotions

Shotgun's idea of a forum area is a good one, though I guess it's just as practical being out in the open, since it shows the world what the WTS does to relationships.
I will add that it's very hard for us guys to open up about such things. The fact that some of us do lay our souls bare, on the forum, says a lot about the expectation to be helped with sesitivity and non-judgementalism.
Sorry if I came over with a knee-jerk reation, earlier, but I felt it had to be said...

Winston Smith :>D

...And thanks for the kind words Beautiful Garbage.

Xena, before you offer shotgun a shoulder to cry on, you should be forwarned that he really turns on the water works and cries like a little baby.

You should have seen him cry in TX when we were dropped of at the airport!!!

Niagara Falls, little Franky... alt

Leander, I'm glad to hear that you found some things you could relate to in my post.

LittleToe

Shotgun:
That thing with BBgun and the Satan thing is shocking!!

I had something similar, though not really comparable, recently.

My wife made a comment that "you worship ~insert pregnant pause~ what you worship."
She had previously made it very plain on a number of occasions that she believed I am influenced by demons (after giving up explaining my DA'ing as being a "series of mini-breakdowns", "never making the truth my own" and "affected by something second-hand in the house").

I queried her on what she meant, and pressed the point.

She said (full of pauses and sly grins) "you worshihp god, and I worship Jehovah".
I pushed her further on what she mean by this, and whether or not she was now saying that she didn't worship God, or what exactly, but she desisted from being drawn.

When you are confronted with someone who feels that you are the very devil incarnate, how on earth can you truly expect that they genuinely still love you?
Hence I continued to feel that it was the leather currency recepticle, held in my back pocket, that she truly loved. The one that allowed her to continue to Pioneer and attend Assemblies and meetings, without fear of personal cost.

~sighs~
~counts to ten~
~rant over~

95stormfront

Monday night it was BBgun scolding me in front of my wife and a couple relatives because I worship Satan and Jehovah hates me because I don't go to the meetings...my wife clapped her hands and said..From the mouth of babes!

Shocking behaivior there. Not from the bb because she's only doing what she's told and coached to do while not in your presense, but for your wife to delight in you being "dressed down" by BB in such a way speaks volumes about the state of her feelings for you and what she expects from bb until you go back to meetings.

Nobody should have to live in such a hostile environment. I'm sure she would not be happy if your roles were reversed.

This, for me, would definitely have been a straw that would've broken the camel's back.

shotgun

LT...that was the same little leather thing you spanked me with in room 222?

BTW LT its ok for a guy who wears kilts to have knee jerk reactions once in a while...ya fiddle playing fool.

Sorry for the pain your going through bud....I really hoped to connect with you more in Texas...I just couldn't pry you away from Eggs in the morning, Xena in the afternoon and Hagis in the evenings.....sheesh!

Paul...settle down or I'll show everyone the movies we made!.....although I do cry when I watch them...just a little.

95stormfront

On lighter note:

I thought you were goign to say this:
which seem to be pushing us ever closer to something we may have never imagined possible...~~the Big D~~ going gay

Man......that is not an option.

I'd prefer a big poster of Ali (sp) Landry, Mary Palm and her five sisters to that.

I need some advise (I want to get divorced)

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