I could REALLY use some help right now....

by babygrl4903 74 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Sirona

  I said that to my b/f. He said that the reason why is coz in the bible it says to do all the things that they do

  This should ring alarm bells in your head. Cults teach that you follow THEM not the bible.

  Lets get this straight: the bible does not say that you should do all the things that Jehovahs Witnesses do. It doesn't but they tell you it does.

  You know you mentioned not knowing who to believe? Well I'd say research it anyway and test it out yourself. So if you read something you should test it thoroughly. How do you do that?

  If you read a statement, don't just take it as true, find out from the net or out of books whether that statement is actually true. Don't just read JW books, try looking at other information. For instance, the JWs might tell you that there are more earthquakes and disease in this last century than before. Don't just believe them, find out if that is true by looking at the facts and figures of history. Do this with everything if you can. If the JWs tell you that God says don't have blood, you need to get on the net and find out for yourself if that is true or not (many christians believe that accepting blood is fine because it saves lives)

  So even though its confusing and you don't know who to believe, the best way around it is to test it for yourself.

  You can easily find out if the JWs are a cult. Ask a JW (not your boyfriend) if it is OK to watch R rated movies. They're likely to tell you that it isn't OK because they are harmful or a "bad influence" on you. This shows that they will try to control everything about your life.

  When I was JW I was advised as to employment, education, clothing, jewellery, what I can eat + drink, who my friends should be, who I could marry, what I should do with my time etc.

  Anyway, you've made a good step being here,

  Love

  Sirona
• 

  babygrl4903

  Sara Annie,

  that I can understand coz I noticed that when I started talking to my b/f about these things that all of a sudden, my view of god was different. like, for once in my life, I didn't view him as someone nice. I am not trying to offend anyone or say god is bad coz thats not at all what I mean. but like you said with your question...loving someone and serving someone who threatens to kill you if you dont....after talking to my boyfriend, at times I felt pressured to convert coz I felt like if I didn't I would be punished and I even developed a sort of fear of god. I haven't told anyone that coz I would never want to say that I sort of fear him. It just doesn't make since though coz supposedly its the same god right? ... Then how come I was rased to think he accepts everyone and my b/f was raised to think something else? its things like this that confuse me coz he makes good points and then other people (all of you included) make good points. its like one minute i think one thing and the next, i think another.
• 

  Elsewhere

  You are left with a very simple decision:

  1. Become a JW and live a double life... one face for the elders and another for the rest of the day. In this you will be burdened with the fear of being cornered by the elders and eventually shunned by everyone close to you. (Being a JW requires you to distance yourself from non-JWs... another rule your boyfriend is breaking)
  2. Drop everything you believe about religion and become a truly devout JW serving the organization with your every breath. You will know you are there when you start to believe you are serving Jehovah. Oddly enough, the only way to serve Jehovah is to do everything to organization tells you... this is why I say you will actually be serving the organization.
  3. Don't have anything to do with the religion.

  The fact that your boyfriend is not willing to respect your right to freedom of worship should speak volumes... he has threatened to leave you if you do not renounce everything you believe in and join his religion. This is wrong. In addition to this, he has also admitted to not being truly faithful to his god. This is hypocritical.

  Even with all doctrine and religion aside, I see nothing but red flags. I don't mean to insult the one you care about, but he sounds like a very selfish person.
• 

  Sara Annie

  that I can understand coz I noticed that when I started talking to my b/f about these things that all of a sudden, my view of god was different. like, for once in my life, I didn't view him as someone nice. I am not trying to offend anyone or say god is bad coz thats not at all what I mean. but like you said with your question...loving someone and serving someone who threatens to kill you if you dont....after talking to my boyfriend, at times I felt pressured to convert coz I felt like if I didn't I would be punished and I even developed a sort of fear of god. I haven't told anyone that coz I would never want to say that I sort of fear him. It just doesn't make since though coz supposedly its the same god right? ... Then how come I was rased to think he accepts everyone and my b/f was raised to think something else? i

  That's actually a really easy question to answer. The short explanation is that fear is really great motivator. If we are afraid of something bad happening and are told what we can do to avoid it, we generally will, right? What greater motive for strict obedience is there than "God will kill you if you don't do what we say!"? The simple question I asked you is one that will give you a lot to think about. People in high control religions have to turn off their internal 'nonsense meters' in order to continue and believe everything they're told because the cost of not doing so is simply too high: You'll be destroyed if you don't believe. It's harsh, ugly, and not what I think a loving God wants for us.

  You're confused right now, and you know what? That's good. The questions of existence and God and eternity are HUGE questions that need to be pondered and rolled around in your mind. There is a bit of conventional wisdom that states we should "Beware of the man who has read only one book". It means that when you get all of your information from one source, and are not allowed to look anywhere else for answers, you should be immediately suspicious.
• 

  babygrl4903

  elsewhere,

  he hasn't threatened to leave me if I do not change religions....
• 

  myelaine

  I can see that you have some serious questions. In the Bible we are told that we should marry those of the same faith, If you think that your relationship could lead to marriage then heed the wise counsil in the Bible. All couples face different problems in marriage, some mundane like, which car to buy, where to spend the summer vacation, should we get a pet. At the time these small problems can seem bigger than they are. A difference in religion (jw's is a complete different belief system) could hold a great deal of sway regarding some of lifes really big problems. God knows that relationships will have problems and to "head some of them off at the pass" a couple should start out on the same path (religion).
• 

  kls

  Babygrl,the more that you say the more that you yourself are now revealing that you see a problem. We are not trying to scare you or make you break up with this boy, that is not our intention. We are trying to show you what they teach so you don't get hurt. Ask him if he were to get in an accident and needed blood? Ask him if you both would get married and your baby needed a blood transfusion if the jws would allow it or if they would rather see the baby die under Watchtower doctrine?
• 

  Sirona

  Myelaine,

  Welcome to the forum.

  I don't agree with you on the religion and marriage thing. Two people with respect for each other and love for each other can have a very happy marriage if they're not the same religion. That is a fact.

  Sirona
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  babygrl4903

  I know, i wish we were both starting out on the same path (religion) too but unfortunatly we are not. And neither of us is too keen on changing religions right now. He would be a huge "disgrace" to family and friends if he did and I would also hurt my family (even though they wouldn't completely disown me) and from the sounds of it, probably wouldn't be happy. I still need to follow the advice many have given me though and try to research all I can.

  Thanks everybody for your help. I appreciate it SOOO much. Keep it coming...
• 

  babygrl4903

  and sirona makes a good point too. a happy marriage doesn't mean they have to be the same religion. just in this case.....it would really help.