Jim,
You talk like you are somewhat responsible for their decision. You are not. No more than they are fully responsible for you coming to a conclusion on your belief system. If we as exJW's had to agree to think the same exact way and post the same exact way, we would be no different from the cult we all left. Even though I agree to a certain extent that things said on discussion boards are out of line, I would rather a person have the freedom to be, or think, out of unreasonable controlled boundaries than to suffocate within them.
No matter what an exJW (apostate) says or does, it will go against the close minded safety level of someone who still clings on to the religion or even the basic elements of the JW religion. Calling god jehovah, linking your concept of jesus to that concept of jehovah and alike. Even though you have discovered the corruption of the company that sold you the jehovah product, you still cling on to the product. You, like them, could possibly be in a spiritual fog and cannot see the road from the bridge.
You maintain some ability to better define your similarities and differences between the concept of jehovah and no jehovah's witnesses then they do. You can better over look the anger exJW's have because of their many losses due to the cult. Your friends cannot. They still cling to the hard wired concepts of the whole twisted "thinking" of the cult and only have had a few problems with some of the "actions" of the cult. They return to the perceived safety of what they know as opposed to try and understand and live with elements of the unknown.
They, and somewhat you, are like an alcoholic. Alcoholics are told, after acknowledging their problem/desease, identifying the reason they are an alcoholic, and deciding to change, stay away from alcohol, period! Many alcoholics justify in their minds that non alcoholic beer is safe because it only has a minute level of alcohol. They like the feeling of being social with other drinkers but feel safe because of the label "non alcoholic." They are only fooling themselves. Like any person addicted to any substance, action or passion, as long as you have elements of, or situations containing any part of the thing they are addicted to, they will most likely go back to full participation in the addiction. Given what you have said describing the mindset of your friends, I am not shocked or surprised they went back at all. In essence, they never really left.
False sense of security can be an addiction. Religion to most religious people is their largest sense of security. Ask any woman who has continually gone back to an abusive husband or relationship why they do it. They develop a false sense of security and feel safer with their known abuser then they do in the unknown freedom of uncertainty and self reliance. Your friends MAY feel safer in the arms of the abusive cult they know, because they clung onto the elements of that cult after they momentarily saw the true abusive nature of it. To insecure people, abuse feeds that insecurity and the abuser becomes their warped version and false sense of their own security.
You and I have talked on the phone, you know my views on all of this. I have also been out of the religion for over 20 years and have been on and helped administrate, several exJW discussion boards. I have seen more confession and more pain experienced by those who cling to the basic elements of the JW religion's product like still referring to god as the old jewish version jehovah, than those who have either left it all behind or adjusted their thoughts more in line with mainstream christanity. As the old karate master in the movie Karate kid said, walk right side of road, safe, walk left side of road, safe, walk middle of road, SQUISH!
These are just some of my thoughts. Take care and hope you don't get too depressed over this, it is not your fault.
Dave
