Sexual Harassment (page 14)

LittleToe

WH:I don't take offense at being asked about it. It happens all the time. It isn't really all that welcome, as I wear the kilt as national dress, not a freak show, but it kinda comes with the territory.

As for "forgiveness", it had already occured at the Fest, with myself. I don't do things for effect, so when I hugged Red it was already a past event. Sure apologies are nice, occasionally, but to be honest I find them acutely embarrassing. It may be a Brit thing.

Ballistic:
Quite right. Maybe it's just a cultural thing where we take an incident and discuss the philosophy of it without the details. Dispassionate autopsy.

Six:
I'm not so naive as to not have expected that the recent incident wouldn't come up, but as I replied to a poster who PM'ed their concerns, it's a calculated risk. The issue is wider, but it's also an opportunity to make a poignant point about harassment and general Fest behaviour (regardless of visiting foreign nationals).

I like the point you make (in triplicate) about drunkenness, though. It might be added that a Fest isn't always the best place to meet other ex-JW's for the first time a it can be kinda overwhelming. For that very reason I met up privately, with one ex-JW guy who lurks here, just prior to flying out to Seattle.

Flower:

I think that all emotions are valid and should be felt not just the good ones. Anger, sadness, jealousy, grumpyness ect are all part of being human and so should be felt and expressed when appropriate just like positive feelings. Controlled of course but expressed not stiffled and buried inside.

That doesn't sound very British.

Granny:Maybe "informed opinion" would have been a better way of putting it.

DarkUncle:
You're a fun guy, and great to mess with

Brummie

Sure apologies are nice, occasionally, but to be honest I find them acutely embarrassing. It may be a Brit thing.

It sure is a Brit thing, I get embarressed if someone is apologising too. The female who spent Christmas eve with me got her car hit by another car, the driver came out all apologetic so my freind then says "Oh dont worry, there was already a bump there", well now that is going to cause her no end of problems when it comes to insurance, but that is just typical of how an embarresed brits acts when someone apologies.

Now, arnt I one for straying off the subject?

Brummie

Sunnygal41

Okay, you said hypothetically, Ross........so, what about this:

You are at a party, and are part of the entertainment, as the fiddler..........perhaps, as I have seen, as have others, I'm sure, the person viewed the occasion as a mix between music and comedy...........i.e. your wearing the kilt, and maybe making a few comic comments which might include the standard, stereotypical "Scottish Kilt Jokes"..........and, the person, being drunk and her judgement impaired goes beyond the normal "acceptable" behavior of bantering verbally, etc. We all know that there are occasions when drunkeness makes us cross the line, I think. I agree with Six on his comment about knowing how to handle alcohol and keeping social boundaries.

Terri

Sunnygal41

NOW, after reading thru the whole thread and seeing the way this discussion has gone, I wish I hadn't posted to it. I was NOT there, and thus, shouldn't have an opinion.......or informed opinion. As I have been told in the past, this is a DB..........a DISCUSSION board. Ross opened it up for discussion by quoting Logansrun............I agree with Flower on her stance and I think Andi has made some valid comments too. I remember one time while at a therapy session, I expressed that I felt some comments made to my boyfriend from his coworkers was not necessary and unkind. She basically told me that I was wrong. I see her point. Now, I'll shut up and be on my way..............

Terri

Big Tex

It sure is a Brit thing, I get embarressed if someone is apologising too

I'm apologize Brumm. I'm really really sorry.

"I apologize. I'm really, really sorry. I apologize unreservedly. I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact and was in no way fair comment and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future." -- John Cleese, A Fish Called Wanda

LittleToe

Terri:I don't tend to try to draw attention to the kilt Jokes about it are deflected, and I don't usually engage in too much banter while I play the fiddle.

You did well to read the whole thread and assimilate it in 30 mins, btw

Taking the situation hypothetically presented, I still wouldn't personally expect to see the entertainer degraded, especially if it was publically made clear that certain attention was unwanted.

Would you mind elaborating on the situation with your counsellor?
(if it's not too personal, and you feel it might be helpful)

Tex:
You're a b*st*rd, and a complete and utter one at that!
LOL

Brummie

"I apologize. I'm really, really sorry. I apologize unreservedly. I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact and was in no way fair comment and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future." -- John Cleese, A Fish Called Wanda

Buwahahahah, see now, THAT is very british too.

anyway back to the schedule...sorry liltoe, I'll keep on track from now on.

Brummie

LittleToe

"Don't mind me, I'm irrelevant - The Young Ones"

SixofNine

Ross, since you bring it up; that is one dirty little secret that really should be discussed: we Americans don't really view foreign nationals as full human beings ;) Just thank goddess your skin isn't brown and it's a kilt not a dishdasha! :-D

SheilaM

LT: I agree that whether Male of Female you have a right to tell people to piss off if they make you uncomfortable. You aksed how you know, well I always told my kids its "a quesy feeling in your tummy."

I might have teased with you about your kilt as anyone would but there are boundaries, I would have the ones that define me and you should have the ones that define you. Mine would have included being married and not embarrassing myself or youBut there should be boundaries and they should be enforced at all times.

I have been places where people think just because they are drinking they can do anything and that because they are drunk they think it is appropriate. My Brother and Sister were wonderful at this, they would have BAD behavior and the people with them were made to suffer. That is just not cool. If one can't define their boundaries than they shouldn't drink.

Sexual Harassment

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