Urgent! Need help - I told my parents.

by filip 311 Replies latest jw friends

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
    Incense_and_Peppermints

    children shouldn't be taught to "obey". they are not puppies, they are people.

    If A Child...



    • If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

    • If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.

    • If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

    • If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.

    • If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

    • If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident.

    • If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.

    • If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.

    • If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.

    • If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.

    • If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
  • 144001
    144001

    A Conditional Friend of No One:

    It's not my job to educate you. You are an adult and should be perfectly capable of doing your own research. I don't care to debate what is essentially a matter of common sense.

    As for your statements regarding my lack of knowledge of you, I based my opinions on your posts, and your challenge to me to provide support for what is common sense to the vast majority of people on this planet is just another piece of evidence supporting my opinions.

    Filip is a smart young man, that's why he's questioning the ridiculous beliefs imposed upon him by the Jehovah's Witness cult. I find your efforts to weaken his resolve to be despicable.

  • a friend in need
    a friend in need

    Incense and Peppermints ... what a great post. I agree with it totally!

    Did you know that children who are taught to lovingly obey will have all those attributes?

  • 144001
    144001
    Did you know that children who are taught to lovingly obey will have all those attributes?

    Notice how "a friend in need" focuses on obedience. Why think when you can just mindlessly obey? Mental laziness is at least partially to blame for the large number of folks included within the ranks of the great crowd of pigeons.

  • a friend in need
    a friend in need

    144001 ... you've obviously got bigger problems than can be addressed here. Sorry I got your feathers ruffled.

  • Sunspot
    Sunspot

    ** Annie ... you see filip as seeing hypocrisy and nonesense ... I see a kid who found an audience on the net that makes him feel good. No rules ... don't obey parents ... life (outside org) is just a bowl of cherries.

    Whatever his views *are*, the prospect of being a JW and the WTS "religion" is not appealing to him or will bring him happiness. As I pointed out earlier---he may change his mind and accept it down the road. (Don't GO there, yakking about the End is near-no time to mess around, etc)

    I raised six kids in the WTS and all but one were very unhappy all through their childhoods. They hated every aspect of it. I would do anything to have been another kind of Mom to them---and I *would* have had the normal rules to live by. Just because people don't live the worthless WTS ratrace doesn't mean that they're all failures as parents.

    That's another WTS fallacy.

    When you said that helping a child go against his parents is a terrible thing---it makes me think of something *I* did a year before I left the WTS. There was a 15 year-old girl that had been studying and wanted to get baptized. She lived a few miles from me and we planned (with the elders permission) to bring her bathing suit etc out here the day before when her parents weren't home. The DC was the next morning and she came with a family that picked both of us up. Her parents knew she was going to the DC but didn't know the rest......

    So I helped her to "go against *her* parents" in an underhanded way and it was hunkey-dorey with everyone at the KH. Theocratic warfare and all that. I'm just doing and saying what my heart tells me---I always have.

    **Life can be a lot tougher if you don't have family. He has that.

    Yeah, the WTS has sure screwed MINE up. I know that for sure! Only two of my five birth children speak to me now.....and even *that* took time after I left the WTS. They were so confused, upset and angry that after ALL I had put them through and deprived them of---that I changed my MIND after 30 years!!!

    You say "he has that" but WHO would be at fault in seeing that his parents would even consider putting him out or disowning him??? What you seem to overlook is that the JWs take first chair in the orchestra and the WTS/conductor calls the shots. Good grief---even the Bill of Rights or the Constitution (whichever) guarantees the pursuit of happiness and the WTS says that you can have happiness but do it OUR way!

    Yes, Filip is only 15, but *I'm* not---and I have been "on punishment" by the WTS rules because I chose to change my mind when confronted with facts I had not previously known about them. It's my RIGHT---but the WTS doesn't recognize that. How pompous is that?

    **He isn't too pleased with his family right now ... most teens aren't. Helping a child go against his parents is a terrible thing.

    As I said---I've raised six teenagers and I know the pitfalls and surprises.

    **Your slant on the WTS is just that ... another opinion. As long as filip lives at home, his parents deserve respect and, yes, obedience. When he is an adult, then he can decide what path he should take.

    For the most part I agree with you here, but the word "obedience" carries a lot of unseen and unspoken nuances doesn't it? Seeing as how he is a pretty well-rounded kid otherwise, and that the problems seem to stem around his inclusion in the WTS---the dynamics are different than one who is skipping school or selling drugs.

    As much as his parents surely do love him, they're making him miserable by intimidating him about having to "get out", etc. They ARE desperate, and I totally know where they're "at" right now. I've walked that path too. It was said that they have lost control---and that's the absolute heart of the matter. They are grasping at straws-just like I did. It's scarey! But my kids were brought up with good values, morals, compassion, kindness and are good people.Just because they decided not to become JWs does not automatically make them evil. Filip can still be a child to love and be proud of even if he isn't going to be a JW!

    I'm not saying that they didn't do some really stupid things and some terrible judgement calls---but didn't we ALL do that? It's the basics that shine through after they reach maturity---and you can't change that.

    Standing in my shoes, I would have done things so much more differently. I loathe the day I acceted a "home bible study" and SO wish I could undo the last 30 years.I live with this every day and mourn the loss of what could well have been a Norman Rockwell painting of my own. And skimming this close to the parents wrecking their family forever frightens me ---for them. They'll be the ones who will suffer all the after-effects, and the WTS will still go on being a cold and impersonal business with loyal followers.

    It's such a shame.

    Annie

    PS-Incense: I have what you posted up on my fridge---it was given to me at a support group for handicapped kids. I always love it.

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
    Incense_and_Peppermints
    Did you know that children who are taught to lovingly obey will have all those attributes?

    suuuuure they will... (said in leprechaun's voice)

  • 144001
    144001
    144001 ... you've obviously got bigger problems than can be addressed here. Sorry I got your feathers ruffled.

    A friend in need:

    Your personal attacks do not address the issues I've raised in my posts to this thread. Similar to most Jehovah's Witnesses I've encountered, when you realize that your position is not defendable, you resort to personal attacks. But those attacks do not address the issues, and they don't fool anyone here.

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
    Incense_and_Peppermints
    those attacks do not address the issues, and they don't fool anyone here.

    they are, however, quite useful for fooling oneself...

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
    Incense_and_Peppermints
    PS-Incense: I have what you posted up on my fridge---it was given to me at a support group for handicapped kids. I always love it.

    i don't have it on my fridge, but it's oe of my favorites. so are you.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit