by filip 311 Replies latest jw friends
Filip, hon. I'm not gonna try to talk you "out", nor am I gonna try to talk you "in". It is normal to be confused with what you are going through. It is normal to be a teen and be confused in general!
Research, and search your own heart and head. You don't have to make up your mind at this moment, you have all the time in the world. Just take is one step at a time, and don't worry about waffling. Just remember that maple syrup tastes great on waffles!
Hugs
Auntie Brenda
Filip, all my life I knew I didn't want to be a Jehovah's Witness. How did I know? Honestly I can't answer that with issues concerning doctrines, the "trueness" of JWs or any other religion for that matter. I just knew. That meant loathing meetings, field service, bible stusdies, etc. I didn't want it, or need it. That didn't mean I didn't have much trepidation and guilt that I had to deal with. Those are mechanisms that are ingrained into the psyche of every young Jehovah's Witness startting very early. I fought it and sometimes still do. When I was 17 I had a job, which was a mandatory part of my high school cirriculum. I started meeting people and seeing there was this huge world and people in it that were not rabid demonic freaks. Well, one day I decided it was time to go. My parents wanted me to pay bills AND go to meetings. *LOL* Yeah right! I told my parents no way and to f off. I got my beating from the old man and left in the dead of the night. It took me some time to get settled, but eventually I got my own apartment, graduated high school, and found my own way. It is hard to do, but like some others have told you it turns you into a man, a real guy, or whatever you wanna call it. My advice to you is to stand up for yourself and by all means don't agree to a three month study with anyone. Furthermore I wouldn't even engage in a conversation that revovled around the validity of the Jehovah's Witness religion or any other. It doesn't matter who is right and who is false. What matters is what is right for you and your young mind that will no doubt come to its own conclusion given that you are left alone about it and are allowed to figure it out for yourself. Best of luck to you and as the old addage goes, "be true to yourself"!
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
Filip - In a nutshell - whatever you hear is believable, and most things are if delivered correctly - and this is your dilemma. Listen to yourself, not others, YOU don't know what to believe (and that makes you vulnerable). Surely if YOU accept that you can't choose, then you shouldn't (and people that Love you shouldn't expect you to) - leave things - people who care for you ought to respect that.
filip .. i have to say the fact that your parents are handling your doubts without ANGER is wonderful . dont doubt their love for you.!
Philip
The main thing I see going on here is a bunch of great people giving a bunch of great advice and information, so much such that there is no way you could remember it all and recall it at will. Couple that with your young age and the natural inclination to want to believe in what you're parents are telling you makes for a very confusing situation for you, I'm sure.
Sounds like your parents are using the JW tried and true method of "issue hopping" to keep you off balance. Rather then allowing them to jump all over the place, when talking to them, try sticking to one single point. Know the point, know what you want to say about that point, try to anticipate anything they can come up with about this point........then....beat that point to death. Their hypocrisy in joining the UN, their distancing themselves away from their 1914 generation doctrine. Or an even better one, is the new blood documents their using now that allows "blood factions" whereas they're still prohibited from donating, or even storing their own blood. Just where do they think those components their allowed to use come from? Their double standards on just these few issues they cannot run from.
Argueing or discussing whether or not God exists, the deity of Jesus, moot point neither of which can be proven one way or the other. But with the hypocritical nature of the WT in light of their assertions that only they are acceptable to God, that issue they can't run from.
Hi Filip,
I spent almost 40 years enslaved in the JW faith. I was the third generation, but I finally realized that no one knows the real truth about God or the universe, at least they can't prove it. If you want a religion that's your choice but don't expect a revalation from God to determine which one is right. Don't depend on someone else to give you the answer either. Accept life as a gift and just try to not waste it on a religion of men.(The watchtower organization or any other religion)
Continue to love your family but don't expect them to give you all the answers to explain our existance. I listen with interest to the different explainations, but haven't decided at 69 years old what the answer to life is. I hope you can find whatever brings you peace and happiness.
When I see a beautiful sunset it gives me a sense of love, but when I see a Tsunami it cancels it out. I just can't understand a God who made the world like it exist. I don't blame God, I just don't understand something as complicated as life. I hope you can someday.
Ken P.
Fillip,
You might consider telling your parents that right now you need a break. That you will be willing to "study" after that break. Give a specific time frame, such as after you don't have so much school work or after mid-terms or in 3 months. Pick a time. That would give you the opportunity not to feel so pressured right now when you are feeling vulnerable after your talk with them.
Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.
Carol
I'm kind of surprised by the 3-month thing. Are all your questions supposed to be answered to your satisfaction by then??? That's nuts. (I guess they are afraid Armageddon will come in 4 months, and you are not properly ready!) People learn all their lives long, and experience and insights keep us adjusting and fine-tuning all the time. You might consider telling them that you DO want to research everything out, to make sure of everything (that's in the Bible, so they should not be upset for your wanting to do this), but this is going to take a bit longer than 3 months. In fact, it will simply take as long as it takes--however long that may be.
Whether you accept a Bible study or not (see if you can at least push it off for a while, if nothing else), try to explain that until you can test it all out to your satisfaction, it would be wrong of you to be baptised or expected to talk with a conviction you do not have. It would be wrong of others to pressure you to commit to what you shouldn't.
You are perfectly right about faith being what everything all boils down to. Your parents seem to think that faith is something that is inferior to knowledge, which is why they push for you to "know" instead of recognizing the great role of faith. Faith calls for an element of humility; knowledge tends to puff people with pride. I think this is another area where they will not listen to you--simply because of what they already "know"--so explain that you understand their view... but can't yet agree with it quite yet.
It takes time to sort thru all the stuff. Keep your integrity, ask God to help you, and I assure you that over time, things will become clearer in a certain direction (and not simply bounce back and forth).
bebu
I believe that the truth is always the best approach to take. Telling your parents the truth was very wise and will eventually work out for you.
Remember, your next discussion is not a life or death discussion. It does not need to be that way. Your jouney for personal belief and expression will take time. Your parents or other JW's will not be able to control your thinking and it will eventually become very clear to you with time.
So take heart and do not get too emotional over this one discussion - let your answers come with time. I feel that people who take a truthful honest approach will leave the WT. Given options, no one would stay. You know you have options. Good Luck.
