I am new and scared

by franki 52 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  whyamihere

  I am in the same boat as you. However I am married and I have 2 children. My mothers side of my family who is huge in the JW religion. Many in Bethel Elders MS you name it. I love them all very much and I hate to loose them. Right now I am just not going to meetings anymore and I am looked at as I need to be "saved". My mother even blames it on my husband for me and my kids not going. I don't want to be shunned I love my family. However I am not going to lead a double life. Thats worse (for meat least). Going and doing everything while I strongly do not believe in it.... can't work for me. I am just in the fade away moment. Laying low and not bothering anyone. I know there will come a time where I have to take a stand but I am not ready yet. I have said a few things here and there but its not enough I know that. I feel for you. I know what you are going through. All I can say is follow your heart and do what makes you happy. I know easier said than done. But really is living a lie hiding and being scared everyday of your life much better? All of this will not be taken care of in a day or a week maybe a year or more or maybe never. As long as you are living the life you want and are happy with it then by all means do it.

  Brooke
• 

  Bryan

  Hello Franki,

  Wow, tough spot to be in, I know. It sounds like you have a pretty good support group there with your boyfriend and two siblings. I personally like the up front and honest approach. My father and step-mother have not spoke to me in almost 10 years (not that I care, long story). My twenty year old daughter has not spoken to me in almost a year (though she does allow us to write each other).

  I suppose, I just like everyone to know where I stand. The effort of hiding and lying causes too much stress, and sooner or later, the truth will come out.

  I hope you can make a choice which will bring you the most peace.

  Bryan

  Have You Seen My Mother
• 

  GetBusyLiving

  Hi and welcome.

  Make sure to think of your lasting happiness. Taking the easy route will not nessesarily give you peace in the end.

  Keep posting!
• 

  Doubtfully Yours

  Welcome, Franki!

  I understand what you're going through. I am leading one heck of a double life and it's not worth it, but if I don't I'll lose all communications with my immediate relatives.

  With each day I grow more and more discontent with the whole deal of covering up who I really am and what I believe just to keep my relatives talking to me.

  I've been here for quite some time now and I've found encouragement, support, unconditional acceptance, plus I've been building a whole new network of non-JW friends. I'll need all this for when the moment comes that I must depart the WTBTS.

  Keep coming here. You'll enjoy it and we'll benefit from your support and encouragement as well.

  Again, welcome!

  DY
• 

  Dragonlady76

  Welcome Franki,

  I was raised a JW, never baptized. My dad is an MS.

  I know you are scared but you have a right to be happy, if you decide to leave it won't be easy, but through the forum you will see lot's of people who can sympathize with you, that make it a little better.

  Just some friendly advice: I would not tell anyone in your family that you go on these boards unless you want real trouble.

  Dragonlady76
• 

  stevenyc

  Hi, Franki, and welcome to the site.

  Each situation and circumstance is different. I?m relating my story to let you know that many others have had similar situations as yours. After reading your post I felt a knot in my stomach, and my memories are over 10 years now.

  When I left my father was a high ranking Elder in the congregation. Some of my sibling had left / Disfellowshiped under similar circumstances to yourself. Soon after I left, I moved in with my ?worldly? girlfriend. After a few months I introduced her to my parents, but scared of the shunning, I didn?t tell them of our cohabitation. It became pretty obvious to them, after a year that we were living together, however, we all choose (silently) to ignore this. At one time a group of Elder approached my father to find out where I lived for a ?discussion?. My parent had already been through then shunning of a family member, so my father said he didn?t know my address. Technically true, he didn?t know my address, even though he knew where I lived. We had my parents over for food many times, and we went to see them many times. Occasionally, when my girlfriend and I were ?caught? with my parents, they would introduce my girlfriend as my wife!

  My recommendation would be not to force the issue, but also, don?t be untrue to yourself, or your boyfriend. This can be very difficult I know. Your parents love you more than you can imagine. This religion controls people through fear of extermination, at Armageddon or now through the shunning. Ultimately, for my parents, their love for me let them cope with the fear of the sect. Love is incredibly powerful.

  Once again, welcome, and I look forward to seeing many more post from you.
  Steve.
• 

  clementine

  welcome on the board!!!! your feelings seem totally normal to me and many of us had (or still have) the same mixed feelings. i'm sure you'll enjoy this site, and i hope this will help you :-)
• 

  Jez

  Welcome.

  "Questioning" is only 'bad' if you are involved in a cult. You are not bad, you are brave and wise for peeking outside of the arrangement of JW's that bombard you with 'their truth'. It is a big big world out there, full of differing ideas, religions etc. You are starting a journey of discovery, don't stop learning and seeking answers.

  It is a beautiful world out there once you gain your freedom from the Watchtower Business Empire. It is a book-selling company whose profits near $1 billion a year. WHY are they making money? It is a hard knock on the head, but when I learned all I could about "the society" (another cultish term, as is brother, and sister.....etc), the facts for myself, I drew my own conclusions. Arm yourself with knowledge and move forward.

  Hugs. Jez
• 

  Lostreality

  welcome! be sure to try your hardest to open up to people here, its a very accepting enviroment!
• 

  TresHappy