I am new and scared (page 3)

Golf

Greetings Franki. Hang loose, there's plenty of folks on this forum that will help you to bear up with your situation.

18 years you say? Well, I've known about them since 1948! Do you think that was long enough? I don't think nor worry about the witnesses. My mom and oldest daughter are, and we get along just fine. They mind they their own business and so do I.

Try to relax and let time be your friend.

Guest77

Gretchen956

Big Hug Welcome to the board. As you can see you are not alone! I too have "new age leanings", spirituality of all kinds is possible outside the WTS. The bottom line is, you have to be true to yourself. Sometimes the choices we make are not easy ones, but if you relinquish who you are for someone else's happiness you are enabling them and ensuring that you will not be happy.

Look forward to hearing more from you.

Sherry

the_classicist

Welcome to the board! semper spera! (always hope!)

onacruse

Franki, your fears are completely natural, and I'd venture to say that 99% of those of us who first posted to an "apostate" db were equally scared.

Heck, I was so scared that my fingers were shaking, and I mispelled my logon name: I meant to type in "onacruise," but missed the "i"...and so it stands.

Stick around, learn, and enjoy.

Welcome!

Craig

Effervescent

Welcome to the board! Im new myself and very quickly Ive learned that the many here have wonderful advice to give... very supporting and for the most part non-judgemental (sounds pretty opposite of other groups we know of, doesnt it?).

I think all of the advice to be true to yourself is right on. I was raised JW and had an elder father with all the great restrictions and limits on free thinking. I had doubts starting when I was very small (I was one of those quiet introspective children) and I felt like I was living a double life in my head... doing all the right things and setting the perfect example as an elders daughter should... but not believing any of the doctine and practices. I left home (ran away) and moved in with my DFd mother who I hadnt been allowed to contact in 8 years. What a life change!!! I filled my time with finishing high school and volunteering my time. I found that the busier I was REALLY REALLY helping people, and finding wonderful caring friends, my life became so full and purposeful. It is hard dealing with the multitudes of relatives who are still immersed in the religion. I have some that talk to me- some that dont. I miss those that dont talk to me, but I feel my life has true meaning now... not just existing. I prefer to LIVE, not just EXIST.

I would give my advice that you start LIVING, and do what your heart tells you. Some of your relatives may still associate with you, others may not. But you will find out that the "world" is full of such wonderful people, and many of these will become like a new family to you. Give yourself time, but youll find that youll start looking forward to a *future*, and a nice one at that.

jgnat

Hi, franki. I think you are stuck because you know what you want (your life with your friends, boyfriend, musical tastes and personal beliefs). But you think it is impossible to be ?good? and have that all too.

For instance you say,

M

ost of the reason I stay with him is because he accepts me for me.

That means your boyfriend is ?good? for you. I think the trapped, desperate feeling comes from believing this:

I cannot fight what I have had drilled in my brain for 18 years

Yes, you can. Who told you that you are too weak to stand up for what is right for you? If you do not care for yourself first, you will be no good for anybody else.

I still have 2 siblings who love me to death and want me to come back.

What if you had two siblings who loved you to death and wanted you to have ten children ?for them?. Would you? Or are personal decisions, like family size, nobody?s business but yours? The same is true with your spiritual life. You should never hand over control of that very personal part of your life to somebody else just to make them happy. They are happy, you are miserable. Is that right?

If I were you, I?d go on a personal spiritual trek. Sort out your feelings. Understand who you are and what you believe. Later, when you are personally strong, you can confront the parts of your family who do not understand. In the meantimes, you have your ordinary friends (NOT SINNERS), your boyfriend (NOT SO BAD FOR YOU AFTER ALL), and two of your siblings living ordinary lives (LIVING THEIR OWN TRUTH).

MerryMagdalene

A warm, warm welcome, Franki

"A mind once stretched by a great idea or new understanding will never fully return to its original dimensions." ----William James

There is no going back in life, only forward. So journey on, brave soul, and know that you are never alone.

~Merry

AuntieJane

WELCOME! You sound like you are a smart girl with her feet on the ground. Are your 2 siblings who are out

close to you? I think you will feel better about things if you are able to talk to them, connect with them more than the rest of the JW family. At least for the time being.

Ask yourself why you would put yourself in a position to go back to a group who makes their members, or even their former members, feel Guilty like you do? Why would you do that to yourself? Would you want your daughter, if you had one, to feel the way you do? Then don't damage yourself any further. Stay strong, stay on this board, and you will do OK.

Dustin

Hi Franki. Your feelings of guilt and fear are all to familiar. It sucks when you have to lead a double life. But talking about your problems will help you confront them, and hopefully fix them. So I'd like to say welcome aboard.

Dustin

LittleToe

Welcome to the site, Franki.
May your stay be long, and as warm as the greetings thusfar recieved.

I am new and scared

Share this