I was thinking of forbidding my wife from taking the kids out in service (page 9)

RichieRich

Almost had to give myself a crybaby sign but quickly fixed my spelling error ... whew!

You're still ugly!

and Your mommy dresses you funny!

a friend in need

jgnat ... it was not my or your opinion that CYP used the words ' to pawn off his two year old".

No, I'm not only talking about the two year old, but those words were directed by CYP about the two year old. If he used them against this child ... may we assume he means the same toward all his children?

Sunspot

Hmmmmm...............looking back through the thread, I don't see any reply to what 144 said about the 2 year old and the treatment expected in trying to make someone that small to sit and behave for two long hours on a regular basis!

He sure didn't appear to be a crybaby when he posted that! He made very good sense! Wonder when FIN will begin to.

Annie

jgnat

I see, so you take offence to the term "pawn off", and have chosen to extend the inferred attitude to CYP's entire parenting style. Bit of a leap, I think.

Cool Uncles with cool pools can probably handle nine year olds and a twelve year olds (in moderation) without drowning them. I know few single men, however, who could keep up with a two-year-old AND keep them from the deep end of the pool.

I see CYP's choice to be considerate of both the children (their relative age and interests) and the Uncle's ability.

I say we ask him. Has he babysat the two year old alone?

a friend in need

If CYPs wife is willing to have all three children with her (which is her duty as a Christian), then there is no problem with any babysitters. The problem is one conceived in CYPs mind without benefit of discussing this with his wife before broadcasting it here.

In the end it makes no difference how well the uncle (with the pool) can babysit. If CYPs wife wants her children with her, do you really think she will "PAWN" them off as CYP wants to?

A parent who uses the term "pawn off" regarding his/her children has a problem.

jgnat

AFIN, I have doubts about your own honesty, so I won't bother asking if you have ever babysat a two year old. I find it ironic that you accuse others of not understanding your unique brand of sarcasm, yet you fail to acknowledge a parent's attempt at gallows humor. Parents of toddlers know EXACTLY what they are asking when they ask a friend or relative to watch their little one.

Duty my foot. Mom can't do either field service or three children full justice. Her attention is too divided.

Come to think of it, that might not be a bad idea. Let her go out with all three kidlins AND try and impress the brothers and sisters at the same time. I predict the entire tribe will be worn out in no time.

a friend in need

If you doubt my honesty, you have no scruples. If you do have scruples, you would have no converstion with me. If I doubt your honesty, I have nothing more to say to you.

Children are out in service with their single parents every day. We all pitch in and help each other ... a new concept to you?

Soledad

We were constantly referred to as "fatherless children" because my dad wasn't a Witness. But he certainly was very alive, and in fact, he wasn't even an opposer. But they still disrespected him.

I absolutely hated that f^^*(g label. My father was very much in our lives. Furthermore, I hated how we were outcasts in our congregation. It was so stupid: they pitied us for not having a "father" but excluded us from everything because we had an "opposing" father!

You would have to brainwash a kid pretty hard to make the choose a hot car in dress clothes over a swimming pool.

However, it can happen if mom guilts them enough. That's what my mom used to do and it drove me nuts ("what kind of person are you? don't you know how hard it is for brothers and sisters in XYZ land to go out preaching? we have it so easy here! don't you love Jehovah? don't you know how close Armageddon is? do you want to be destroyed?") Worse than that was the fact that nobody else really stood up for me: my father gave up after a while and I was alienated from other family members who could have said something but didn't. That gave my mother full reign over me and there wasn't a damn thing I could do.

Learn the lesson: don't let that happen to your kids. Step in when it is absolutely necessary and always introduce doubt. Let your kids know whenever they have questions and mom doesn't want to listen or only wants to follow WT advice that they can come to you instead. And don't bash! My father used to tease and call us nasty names. That just made me feel miserable, and I couldn't even talk to anyone about it.

Soledad

Let's look at this from the children's perspective.
1. I can be with my mother who spends time teaching me from the bible.
2. I can spend time with my mother who takes me to meetings.
3. I can spend time with my mother who takes me out in service to witness.
4. I can spend time with my mother who is there for me and doesn't pawn me off on relatives so she can go to Christian gatherings.
or
1. I can get dumped at my uncles house to keep my father happy.

AFIN who the fuck are you kidding? you really think 1-4 there is a 9 year old's perspective? Not even the child of an uber-JW family thinks that way. Really. Just ask one. Just simply ask them to plan a Saturday morning themselves, with no parental suggesting. See what you come up with.

jeanniebeanz

a new concept to you?

Afin, are you related to Schizm? Your attempts at being wry are very similar to 'his', but in the end it simply comes off as hubris. Honestly, I don't know why you keep banging your head against the wall trying to defend the indefensible, but again, whatever floats your boat.

(hands afin an aspirin and a bike helmet)

J

I was thinking of forbidding my wife from taking the kids out in service

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