What is you (or somebodies) best blooper in the KH?

by DannyBloem 70 Replies latest watchtower scandals

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  Nosferatu

  I clearly recall this one senile brother who was always asked to give prayers from the platform. He'd usually end up thanking Jehovah for our sins.

  One other time, our bookstudy conductor overseer did some research on some kind of food mentioned in the bible. He made printouts and handed them out to everybody. One sister read it before we started and bursted out in laughter. In print, the phrase "tastes like crap" was clearly written (it was supposed to say "crab" instead of "crap". She pointed it out to the conductor overseer, and the entire house filled with laughter.
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  bikerchic

  Well I have two bloopers to relate. The first is kinda sad really but here goes.....

  A young brother probably mid 20's who has some "mental" problems stepped up to the platform to give a talk on "Patience". He had a patch over his eye and in the middle of his forehead too he said "please brothers and sisters have patience with me as I only have one eye tonight, I tried to poke out my other one with a fork, at first I missed (hit his forehead) but cause some severe damage to my eye; God told me to do it." Oy vay......some of the friends who didn't know of his mental history began to laugh thinking it a joke and part of the talk on "Patience". Then he began to explain how and why God told him to poke out his eye and the last two minutes he gave his talk. It was really sad.

  The PO's grandson was giving his Bible reading and after the reading he dropped his notes to give the conclusion, while bending down to pick them up he said "OH CWRAP!" which the mic picked up, it was funny cuz he couldn't say his "r's". His grandfather who is hard of hearing didn't understand why the whole congregation was laughing hysterically. After the meeting when Gramps found out he was a bit peeved at sonny boy. LOL
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  loosie

  OMG you guys have made spit coke all over my monitor. some of these stories are hilarious. I know mine wont measure up.

  I only have one eye tonight, I tried to poke out my other one with a fork,

  bikerchic Your story made me laugh so hard I just got back from the bathroom.

  my little brother gave a long comment about how "orgasms

  wanderlustguy is your little brother old enough to know about orgasms? That story is priceless.

  Ummm, i think you smoke weed

  dorayakii I wish I could have been in that bookstudy.

  they call me dickhead

  tijkmo I don't think it was because of his religion that they called him dickhead

  he didn't really just say that outloud did he

  Ef How else would they know what the bad words are if you don't say 'em. lmbo

  Bizarrely he accepted that without question.

  Qcmbr that guy must have really gullible

  Now my story.

  I saw a sister once she was about 55 years old. Take her shoe off to smack a june bug dead in the aisle during watchtower study. It's really hard to hold back the giggles when things like that happen.
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  Aude_Sapere

  Meeting for service.
  My younger brother was one of those goofy, overly-brilliant kids who thought they could outsmart the adults. He had red hair and freckles to boot.
  He was maybe 9 or 10 years old.
  My dad was leading the group and asked if anyone had any suggested presentations for the magazines that morning. Cocky little brother in his orange plaid sport coat raises his hand and gives his presentation about Guns and violence and how terrible they are and kill people. In the New System, God won't allow guns. It's one way that he wipe out every tear from our eyes.
  
  Clever you think??
  The lead article in the Awake that he was offering was:
  What can be done about GUM trouble. - as in periodontal disease.
  
  LOL
  -Aude.
• 

  free2beme

  Once heard a man say, "Jehovah, please look after our dead loved ones, so that they are safe tonight." Nearly dropped to the floor laughing.
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  Aude_Sapere

  **We were going over the "Creation" book at the weekly bookstudy, and my little brother gave a long comment about how "orgasms" (meant to say organisms) were created, and how this orgasm is nothing like that orgasm, all orgasms are unique and there's no way a walking orgasm could ever be the same thing as an orgasm that lives in the water...etc**
  
  Same thing happened in my bookstudy. Brother had been married for about a year. He kept saying orgams when the word was really 'organism'. He was soo embarrassed and we were all trying to stiffle our laughter.
  
  He wasn't a very good reader to begin with. After the fourth or fifth time, he would stop at each word. Take a breath. His wife would say 'or-gan-ism' and he would repeat. At one point she said 'or-gasm' and everyone completely lost it.
  
  Ahhhh Fun memories.
  -Aude.
• 

  undercover

  We had one old sister who fell asleep at every meeting...and snored. Her daughter, no spring chicken herself, would jab her with her elbow and say kind of loudly (mom was deaf and wore a hearing aid), "Momma! Wake up!!" Momma would wake up for a few minutes and then fall asleep again. Then the daughter would reach over and turn the adjustment on her hearing aid until it squeeled real loud and would jolt her awake. Anyone else asleep would wake up too. Those already awake were suppressing laughter.
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  Sirona

  Funniest one I can think of was when we were studying the Revelation book and the reader got to the part where "there was tremendous thunder in heaven" - just at that point, a three year old who was playing in the centre of the room bent over and farted really really loudly!

  Sirona
• 

  Sad emo

  I went to the memorial service a couple of years back and 2 boys were determined to take the bread and wine. All everyone could hear was the sidesman (?) whispering very loudly "DON'T eat the bread." and "NO, don't drink that, pass it along." The boys proceeded to keep arguing about why not and the guy was saying "just don't" Not being a JW myself I didn't see anything wrong with smiling about it but everyone else was trying their hardest to look not amused by the whole thing.

  I was very tempted to ask the sidesman what gave him the right to decide whether or not these kids had the heavenly hope or not!
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  RichieRich

  A brother was reading from some book at the book study about Caiphas and Annas. He said repeatedly ANus instead of Annas.... WE all died laughing...