What is you (or somebodies) best blooper in the KH?

by DannyBloem 70 Replies latest watchtower scandals

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  susu812

  ok i have two:

  1st-there is an older bro in the hall and he has speech problems--kinda like his tongue is WAY to big for his mouth-and he is going slightly deaf-anyways he ALWAYS does the mics and our hall is TINY and he was walking up and down the aisle farting--constant for the whole service meeting-he must of thought they were the silent type. the brothers giving the parts were trying so hard not to lose it--it was sad because no one even told him. :(

  2nd--in my old hall there was a sister who was giving a demostration with her niece and her niece messed up and said breast instead of something else and starting laughing hysterically---and it pissed of her aunt and she stormed off stage leaving her niece up there all by herself probably to try and embarass her for messing up--and while she was walking down the aisle to the back she tripped over a bro's bag and slammed down face first on the floor. it was hilairous.
• 

  kittyeatzjdubs

  lol @ GBL!!!! u just reminded me of something!!!

  my mom used to do the same thing when i was younger, take me up on stage when she gave a talk. i thought it was cool. so anyway, one night her and the other sister finished up the talk and walked off the stage. except that i was stuck b/c when the brother came up to adjust the mike, he accidently shifted the table and it pinned me against the wall. (i was like 4)....

  so i sat there...and sat there...and sat there. everyone in the congo was giggling and my mom had no idea b/c she went straight to the bathroom....the overseer was about 5 minutes into his counseling when someone finally spoke up and said, ''excuse me brother! u seem to have a stowaway!'' he let me out and i rushed back to my seat.

  i've had stage fright ever since.

  luv, jojo
• 

  zen nudist

  like many here, our KH had brothers carrying portable mikes....

  the conductor would call their desgination and name....and give directions where to find the persons

  one day the entire hall was busted but by this:

  Sister Payne, IN THE REAR
• 

  RichieRich

  Once, a brother referred to "Jehovah's heavenly thongs". That was good.

  I too have been used a prop for a part. GBL, were you sitting on a "park bench" too?

  There is an autistic kid in our hall. After the amen, he jumps up and runs around and moans. Hes 19 and is a good size fellow (Remember he's severly autistic.) One night after the meeting, he knocked an older sister flat on her ass. It was funny, but me and 3 other brothers had to restrain and carry him out of the hall.
• 

  dorayakii

  Oh my god, the memories are flooding back... I was used as a stage prop too. I used to just stare directly at the audience with my hands by my side, loool...

  This one's about a pioneer sister who was asked to do a re-enactment of one of the presentation suggestions from the Kingdom Ministry. She thought it would be nice to "widen out" and ask people other than her usual pioneer collègues to be her householder. She chose her partner, (an excentric old jamaican sister), she prepared her and gave her all the words to say for the demonstration next meeting.

  The next meeting, the brother called on the sisters for the demonstration and the pioneer sister went up onto the stage. She waited for a few seconds looking around in the audience for her partner... No sign of her... she started to look a bit worried, and the congregation got restless... Suddenly she appeared dramatically at the back of the Hall with an apron, a patterned scarf on her head, 2 saucepans and 4 full shopping bags... (I think she must have thought she was acting in a convention drama) She had put her all into the role, but needless to say, she was never asked again...
• 

  what_Truth?

  When I was a kid I made a comment on how wordly people were getting Ghonerreah and "sniffless" from eating hotdogs with blood in them.
  
  Another time a clueless old elder was talking about Lydia the seller of purple during a WTS. He read how she had offered to let paul come over and stay at her house. The elder smiled and commented "Boy if I met Lydia i'd probably come too". The MS reading the paragraphs turned beet red trying to stifle in his laugh. Of course the elder still didn't get it since there's always a handful of dubs that will laugh at any joke from the platform no matter how unfunny it is. Worst of all his name was brother Seimens.
  
  Finally, I was at a bookstudy at an elder's house. My mom was reading a scripture in Revelations where the apostle john said "I heard the sound of many waters" just then, on cue, someone in an nearby bathroom flushed the toilet.
• 

  dorayakii

  This one was an experience at a District Convention:

  • A father was disciplining his child and after having firmly applied the rod, he told his child that the only reason he did that was because he loved him so much. The child responded by saying "But daddy, why do you have to love me so hard?"

  The experience was greeted with laughter and nods of agreement, but i thought it was dispicable.

  This next one happened twice in my congregation as far as i can remember (i've also heard similar stories before so it must be quite common):

  • A little boy was being taken out the back to have the "rod of discipline" applied, and as his mother dragged him out, he screamed out, "No, nooo, help me Jehovah".

  The last one was also an experience at the DC :

  • A mother had bought a watch for her daughter and the girl never took it off; she went to sleep with it and did everything with this watch on her arm. The mother sat a bath for the girl and told her to undress and get in. The girl dutifully undressed but kept the watch on. The mother noticed this and told her to take it off too otherwise it would get damaged. The girl responded by saying "but the brother at the meeting told us to 'keep on the watch' !"

  This experience was used to show even "babes" can be attentive at meetings. (Its no wonder the WTS has such a serious child molestation problem if they keep refering to them as "babes").

  dorayakii of the "wondering-if-that-was-an-inappropriate-joke" class
• 

  katiekitten

  LMAO. This is a great thread. If only we had all these happen in one almighty monty python of a meeting!

  Mine is second hand off my sister in law. She and her smarmy bethel arse licking wannabee husband were looking after an old lady who took the emblems. One cold winters day they took a blanket to wrap round her legs, but unbeknown to them a long time ago a cat had shat in the blanket. When they opened the blanket up to wrap her in a perfectly formed dried cat shit rolled out and across the floor of the kingdom hall.
• 

  Doubtfully Yours

  One of these days, while at the Service meeting, I was really tired plus bored out of my mind and a yawn came out really loud and many people turned their heads and gave me wicked stares.

  Sorry!!! I didn't think it'd come out so loud. I caught some laughing, though, as if I had read their minds.

  DY
• 

  hamsterbait

  
  I went on a """PICNIC""" one Saturday, and the empty gin bottle fell out of my rucksack at the Sunday meetin'. Oh, yes, and I answered and said that "in 36 AD Christ allowed genitals in the christian congregation..."

  HB