Wife's weight problem (page 14)

AlanF

Just never say, Fatty Fatty two by four.

Other than that, I have nothing of substance to add to this discussion, being a tad bellyish mineself.

AlanF

bikerchic

Well I just find this whole thread sad. It's bothered me all day since I first read early this morning and it just gets worse IMHO.

Many of the statements are exactly what leads a young person into eating disorders, good grief people get a grip. Having lived with a child who had an eating disorder and knowing all the grief it causes everyone this thread is appalling to me. And further........don't be so judgmental about heavier people they aren't necessarily physically unfit as some of the skinny ones. Skinny or even "just right" doesn't equal physically fit.

dangel

You have a lovely wife whom you say you love and have been married to for 9 years. Dude is there nothing about you that she hasn't tolerated for 9 years? Maybe you are balding, or have bad breathe or body oder. Maybe you just don't rock her world sexually speaking. Good grief no one is perfect and believe me if you dump this woman for some reason as shallow as her weight (as some have suggested) you no doubt will be getting something much worse on down the road.

Face the challenge you have ahead of you which is to be truthful, loving and caring. Speak to her kindly about your concerns only don't even hint that you are attracted to her! Since you said you've put on a bit of weight yourself maybe you could both go on a diet together and help each other out, many couples have lost weight together and have gotten really closer while doing so. Quit complaining and feeling sorry for yourself and actually do something to help her. Get a membership to a gym for both of you, or bikes, join a bowling team together. Go for walks and hikes just get moving but do it together.

Good luck.

EvilForce

Ok....You said you have gained 20 lbs. yourself. Maybe this is a great time for YOU to go on a diet and ask HER help. Ask her if she would help YOU to lose weight by taking walk, cooking lower fat / lower calorie foods, etc. Say that YOU are the one feeling a bit unhealthy. And most importantly don't lie. If she asks if you think she should lose weight...say "I think we BOTH need to lose some weight". Or maybe you can help take over the cooking by cooking lite.
And possibly to the outrage of the board....she has gained ALOT of weight so you are not out of you mind thinking she needs to lose weight.

JW83

Dangel, I found it interesting that your very first post on an ex-jw discussion board was about your wife's weight!!! If my hubby posted fat photos on the net I would KILL HIM

G Money

Ok, as perhaps one of the most flagrant offenders on this thread, I'll give another $.02. Although weight is a consideration, how one carries it is quite another issue. I've known people that by all standards are obese but I'd love to be with them in a heartbeat rather than somebody who is slender by most standards.
Personality and style as well as how one carries oneself go a very long way. I had a friend that said she was denied insurance because she was morbidly obese and I said what? I never saw her in that fashion because she was such a sweet person and really, really, had to look like 100 times to figure out why as she was smart and confident and looked great, although she was a bit larger.

Everyone should be happy, not hate. You all are beautiful as you are. Outer beauty is nice but not everything. My ex is blonde / blue, 5'6 and 120 and fit but when it was almost over, I could care less. There is something to be said for both sides. Everyone has tastes.

Y'all do me a huge favour tonight, tell the one you love them just as they are and give them a big kiss and hug.

Peace

Oh an evilforce, what's with all the Abercrombie beefcake pix? jajaja

FlyingHighNow

Some guys, in fact a lot of guys, prefer a little extra padding on their ladies.

Miss Jeanzie Beanzie this is so true. I'll add that some men love A LOT of padding. They know that lots of soft woman feels mighty good and that's a good thing.

Dangel, let me 'splain somethin' to ya. Your wife is gorgeous. She was cute when smaller: true. But now? She is still very shapely and soft and round. She's beautiful. Open your eyes, honey. An a$$ doesn't have to be 3 inches wide to be attractive. She's still got nice round shape to hers. Andy's famous quote: "Beauty doesn't come in one size!"

And you know what? You said she is HAPPY and takes her proportions in good humor. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND HAPPINESS IN THIS WORLD???!!!??? Honey, be proud that she still can be that happy after 9 years of being married to someone who obviously feels so sorry for himself that he would join an exjw forum to beg for sympathy, advice and to post pictures of his *cough* *choke* beloved.

Remember the Rocky Horror Picture Show? Get into a mind flip. You are allowing the media to blind you to your wife's magnificent splendor. Open that mind and then your eyes will open.

I once heard a black comedian, a man, say that most black women have very good self esteem when it comes to fatness. He said, "Try telling a 350 lb black woman she ain't sexy." And just look, a lot of them dress to the nines. They have their nails done and have beautiful, exotic hairstyles. They wear gorgeous shoes and hats and jewelry. They wear perfume and sexy lingerie. They carry themselves with good posture and their heads held high. They flirt kind of Mae West style.

You can't get your wife to be slimmer instantly, that's a fact. You could offer to give her a makeover at a salon though. Pamper her. Have her get her hair done, her nails and feet. She can have a facial and her make up professionally done. Then encourage her to buy some new, sexy clothes and jewelry. Does she wear perfume? Buy her a new bottle and the powder and lotion that go with it. Tell her she's sexy. Flirt with her. She just might feel like flirting back. Maybe your relationship just needs more flirting and fun. While you're at it, take her and have boudoir photographs taken. You'd be surprised how beautiful she can be.

I bet most ladies here will agree that it makes us high when the men we love go out of their way to let us know we are attractive to them.

If she loses weight, it should because she wants to.

And Dangel, women don't always gain weight because of eating. Sometimes it can be because all the women in their family grow heavy as they mature. It can be because she has polycystic ovary disease which also runs in families, or thyroid disease. Cushing's syndrome causes weight gain. Antidepressants and other meds can cause weight gain. Surgery that causes the ovaries to be touched and moved around.Even certain cancers can cause weight gain when they affect hormone levels. Some woman can eat the same food your wife does and stay thin because of her metabolism. No one should have to go through life starving and miserable to stay thin enough to keep a mate.

Buster, if your wife was smart, she would have broken things off when you told her you'd leave her if she gained weight. You don't love her. You love her appearance. You'll probably trade her in for a younger model when she starts to show her age.

sonnyboy

Single women come home and they look in the fridge and then they go to bed.

*hasn't read the entire thread*

When women get married and have families, they generally make large meals every night. That may have something to do with it (in addition to a slower metabolism).

FlyingHighNow

Maverick, we can't help but love you. One thing though: you are so clueless when it comes to women. You try. I see that a lot of times in your posts. But then you come a long and make another clueless post like this:

Some of the female responses are prime examples of; when she sets you straight about the things she doesn't like it's called communication, but when you tell her the things you don't like about her...your being a complainer or picking a fight!
Look, buy her a gorgeous, very expensive dress a couple of sizes too small and don't tell her where you got it.

Please never, ever write an advice book for men. Or women for that matter.

ballistic

Please never, ever write an advice book for men. Or women for that matter.

There was a very old thread on here from several years ago where Maverick highly recommended some advice books for men.

FlyingHighNow

Please never, ever write an advice book for men. Or women for that matter.
There was a very old thread on here from several years ago where Maverick highly recommended some advice books for men.

Yikes, I hope that's not why some of the men responded the way they did on this thread.

That was a very cute response, Ballistic.

Did you actually make it through my whole post? I'm chuckling. I wondered if anyone would. Oops, sorry. The Maverick post was separate from my loooooooooong one just above it. It may get skipped over by everyone yet.

Wife's weight problem

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