Wife's weight problem (page 15)

mtbatoon

Dangel, now you've put us in the picture regarding how long you've been marred etc, I retract some of my earlier comments. I'd say from the way she's wearing clothes that are too small for her in the after picture that your wife isn't happy with her weight but hasn't accepted that she needs to deal with it. If I were you, deal with your own extra weight first, go out exercising, separate diet from your wife, she may well follow.

greendawn

FHN in your post 4153 you say

"Let's see a picture of you by the way. I suppose that you fancy yourself God's gift to women".

I don't have at all such an exaggerated opinion of myself and i am myself a little overweight at the moment because of losing control and eating too many chocs and nuts back in May, i am on a diet losing weight quite successfully, and will reach target (lose 12Kg/25Lb) in September.

I can understand your inner beauty concept and that physical beauty is only skin deep, and that it would be better to have for example a faithful fat woman rather than an unfaithful slim woman, but still to have a fat woman as a girlfriend goes beyond my tolerence limit. How can a man have and enjoy sex under these circumstances?

trevor

Dangle

When someone starts a thread like this it is difficult to know if they are serious or just having laugh. I can see from the pictures you posted and your comments that you are serious.Many of the comments on this thread, including mine, have been facetious with the intention of getting a reaction and having some fun. Overweight people are sensitive to weight issues and tend to react which can be fun but also upsetting for people who are struggling to lose weight.

Many comments condemn men for not finding excess weight on a woman attractive. This sex war distracts from the issue here. If you were to change your view and be perfectly happy with your wife’s weight would that solve the problem? Would she be happy with her weight if you were? Also your wife has here health to consider. The truth is that very few women find excess weight attractive on themselves or men.

It seems that there are two issues here. Firstly you and your wife deciding if you both want to lose weight. Secondly, if you do, how to approach it. Eating less than you need will not work in the long time. It seems that the best result in weight loss is obtained by eating earlier in the day and avoiding evening meals. Your wife’s weight increase seems to indicate comfort eating. If there is an issue in her life that needs sorting out, this must be dealt with first. What is she trying to replace by eating that she is missing?

Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best in achieving what you both want.

Panda

Dangel, Welcome and hello. All of these self help ideas are , well, not going to help the two of you. There is one sure fire way for the 2 of you to lose weight.

First, get a maid service to clean your home, change the beds, do the laundry and iron. Oh also take out the trash and sweep outside.

Second, get a personal trainer.

Third, get a cook. One who has read all of those Oprah's chef's books. And have the cook do the grocery shopping.

That's the fool proof way to lose weight and regain your health. When you are not doing the food shopping it greatly lightens the refridgerator load.

talesin

Trevor,

I really enjoy your dry wit, and your postings. I don't think you are a mean or unkind person, and I'm not angry at you or anything.

This comment gave me pause. Just think about what you said ...

Many of the comments on this thread, including mine, have been facetious with the intention of getting a reaction and having some fun. Overweight people are sensitive to weight issues and tend to react which can be fun but also upsetting for people who are struggling to lose weight.

Why is it okay to push the buttons of overweight people,,, would it be fine in your books to do the same to a person of colour?

Is it really fun? I'm not having any fun pointing it out.

Perhaps there is an overweight poster reading this thread and crying RIGHT NOW because they are hurt by this thread ...

That is a rhetorical question, and not directed at you alone, but all the folks who think this issue is funny. You just happened to make the comment, but other folks are doing it, too, and I don't intend this to single you out.

I stopped posting for a bit, because of stuff like this. Then I realized that instead of getting angry and discouraged, I could come back and try to make a positive contribution to this exJW support forum ... so I'm just trying to gently make a point here. Please don't take it badly.

tal

googlemagoogle

Why is it okay to push the buttons of overweight people,,, would it be fine in your books to do the same to a person of colour?

that's apples/oranges. but you could compare eating too much with drinking too much. both is unhealthy, has negative effects, but the person doing it may not like to change.

AK - Jeff

Dangle - alot of thinking to sort out here, huh?

The greatest tool you have in this matter is your mind! Your mind will decide if you love your wife as she is or not.

So many things come into play here, and we know so little about the entire matter from your end.

My wife put on 125 pounds over the course of our 30 year marriage/love fest. I went thru all that you do with trying to get her to get the weight off - she did too - mostly I was worried about the health aspects, although she was more attractive when she was thinner. I would love her no matter how she looked, and she knows it. She has now taken it back off and looks great - but I never stopped loving her and being attracted to her during the 'fat years'.

Whatever you do or say, remember that she prob doesn't want to be fat. I would suggest a slow, not radical change in lifestyle. More walking, activities out of doors ect. You will have to take the lead and set the pace. She will start to see the benefits and will soon be leading you to better health and eating habits.

Hang in there. Love a good woman if u find one. Superficiality will not hold up in the long run - we all get old, fat and wrinkled ect before we die. So, if you love her, then just love her.

Jeff

talesin

Okay, google.

Let's do apples and apples.

You have crooked teeth. Personally, I find that repulsive (not really, but for the sake of the analogy), though many people don't, and choose to call them 'bad teeth'.

It may take you a bit of sacrifice to save the money to get them fixed, but atm you are stuck with them.You bought that new car last year, and funds are a bit tight.

What is wrong with you? I couldn't imagine marrying someone with bad teeth ,,,, it disgusts me!

Why don't you get them fixed..... god you are SO UGLY ..

Look at him, doesn't he know what a turn-off his teeth are? hahaha, imagine having to kiss that. blecch!

Yah, you can get your teeth fixed ... then again, you didn't expect anyone to be rude enough to actually say these mean things to you.

Does it hurt any less for me to tell you how ugly I think you are?

(apologies to those with 'bad teeth',,, it's not my opinion, just an analogy) If that doesn't make the point, then I am wasting no more keystrokes on the subject.

tal

trevor

Yes Talesin

I agree with you entirely, which is why I made my last post. It was an attempt to make amends for my making light of a serious subject.

Most of my comments on the JWD forum are sensible and helpful, I hope! But once in a while I feel the need to be a prat and let off steam. I Probably need a holiday, which is why am off to Lake Garda in Italy on holiday this Saturday.

I enjoy your posts too.

Crumpet

I can understand your inner beauty concept and that physical beauty is only skin deep, and that it would be better to have for example a faithful fat woman rather than an unfaithful slim woman, but still to have a fat woman as a girlfriend goes beyond my tolerence limit. How can a man have and enjoy sex under these circumstances?

I am staggered greendawn, but I guess its just personal preference for you.

I'd be horrified if my other half turned round and said "sorry honey but you're just too fat to shag now". I do struggle with my weight, as does he. He is more attractive to me now than he ever was, despite his weight gain, and I know, even though he isn't a "breast man" that he likes me having some voluptuous curves that I didn't used to have.

Having seen the pictures of Dangel's wife - that does seem quite extreme. I can understand why you would be upset. I hope the comments here help. One of the best though is to start working out yourself and refusing to eat your wife's big calorie packed meals every night. She'll soon join you.

Wife's weight problem

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