Wife's weight problem (page 2)

Odrade

****Single women come home and they look in the fridge and then they go to bed. Married women come home and they look in the bed & soon head for the fridge. *LOL* ****

LMFAO!!! Soooooo true. Man, when I was single, I biked to work, lived in a little apartment, went to the gym, went out at night and DANCED instead of sitting around and EATING... Boy how things change (including my pant size.) I need a real good reason/challenge to lose 20 lbs or so. But so far my sedentery lifestyle is getting the better of me. Time for another change!

chrissy

ok, well, I for one think you should tell her flat out like you just told all of us...

I would think that could potentially work because really, what woman would not want to turn her husband on? She may not even realize your are turned off by her. As long as you are honest and sensitive when approaching the subject. I would think she would respect and respond to that approach a lot better than being physically neglected or having subtle hints dropped all over the place. Follow it up with others' suggestions of exercising together. Go hiking or join a gym together. Maybe say something like the lack of physical activity is turning us into coach potatoes in the marriage and it is hurting our intimacy, so lets start getting sweaty together... then before you know it you will really be getting sweaty together!!!

Odrade

Oh Yeah! then she could leave and he wouldn't have to look at her ugly fat ass anymore.

G Money

It sucks and is quite the scam that girls take good care of themselves and then blimp up after marriage. Did she have kids or just eat alot and not exercise? Men do it as well although it is a bit more accepted in society. Can she cut corners and lipo and eat right and work out?

You have my support as I'm not into large ladies although everyone's definition of large is different and what I may think is a cow may be a beanstalk to some.

Much of it is eating right and exercise, here are some of my tips:

Never skip breakfast as it is an important meal that starts the metabolism as well as fuels your day.

Avoid fast food, sweets and soft drinks.

Drink alot of water.

Never eat after dark, if you do, you may as well duct tape it to your thighs or rear.

Instead of eating larger meals until you are too full to eat, try smaller meals eaten until you are no longer hungry.

Try walking regularly and join a gym. Many people can easily walk extra but they are so married to their cars. Joining a gym is good but even better if you have a partner. Set upa good workout regimen and set time.

An optimal cardio workout is 3 times a week for at least 20 minutes where your heart rate is at optimal levels. I believe that way to gauge this level is to subtract your age from 200. So a 40 year old wants to keep his heart rate at 160 for 20 minutes 3 times a week.

always consult your doctor before engaging any exercise routine to see if there ar any other factors in your weight gain or health that will have any bearing on your plan.

The hardest plart will be starting out and getting used to a plan and convincing yopur wife without making her mad or hurt. You want to be supportive but it is the best for her. She'll have mor eenergy and be happier and healthier. Fat people have more problems including health, self esteem and endurance issues.

FlyingHighNow

I am not as attracted to her physically. Has anyone else been in this situation? What advice can you give me? Thanks.

How long have you been married? All people grow used to each other and the initial fire wears a little thin at times.

Sounds to me like you were maybe more in love with her appearance than her. Try looking at her through new eyes. See her as the person she is now and not who she was. Look for the present day beauty. Doesn't she still have the same pretty facial features and hair? Did you like her hands, her feet, etc? Most people do not retain their teenaged bodies and do fill out as they mature.

Looks are fleeting. Even the trimmest person will age. This brings to mind John Derek who was married to the beautiful Ursula Andress. He traded her in for a younger, lookalike Linda Evans. When Linda Evans got a little older, John traded her in for a younger, lookalike Bo Derek.

The trimmest person can be disfigured in an accident. Anyone, women included should ask themselves, BEFORE they marry someone, "Do I love this person enough to stay with them if they become disfigured by accident, disease or if they gain weight?"

That said, gaining weight sometimes brings on health problems. If you cherish your wife, this should concern you more than anything. Don't ever tell her you aren't as attracted to her. You can do damage to your relationship that can never be repaired. Instead, encourage your family into healthier habits. It should be a nutritional, welfare concern above all. Harping on her weight will send her the message that your feelings for her are based more on whether she attracts you in the bedroom and not that you're in love with the overall person that she is.

FlyingHighNow

Men do it as well although it is a bit more accepted in society.

Yes, this is true. And sometimes they quit taking daily showers, clipping their toe nails, shaving daily, brushing their teeth regularly, etc.

And imagine this: sometimes they let their hair fall out. How dare they let something genetic come along and ruin their youthful good looks? Oh yeah and don't forget the dandruff and athlete's foot crud.

You know what, we love the big lugs anyway and find them just as attractive because we truly love THEM.

mtbatoon

Sensible eating and sensible exercise. Find a eating routine you're both happy with. What has worked for my wife is I do all the shopping, no snacks, biscuits or pop and she's has a very trim figure now. It's not a diet it just how we eat now. A little of what you fancy now and then, not as a treat for being so good, food isn't a reward or a comforter. We also have two young daughters so we want to get them into good habits while we can.

Maybe your wife's eating is due to an insecurity or something like that. Maybe she's realised that she's married a superficially man who lets a few rolls of plumpness get in the way of the lovin'.

FlyingHighNow

Maybe she's realised that she's married a superficially man who lets a few rolls of plumpness get in the way of the lovin'.

So true. I once heard a man say that the wise man realizes that most men love breasts, not just because they look beautiful, but also because of the way they feel. He said that breasts are made mostly of fat and that soft rolls of plumpness feel just as good if you undo the mind trick society has played on you.

There is a yiddish word for a woman who has developed this kind of softeness. The word is zaftig. Zaftig actually means soft.

greendawn

I can sympathise with the way you feel since in the western world the ideal woman has a flat belly and generally a slim figure,(whereas in other cultures Arabs,Iranians the ideal woman has a plump figure) and to have an increasingly fat woman is a nightmare come true. Overindulgence in food always ruins good looks.

The only way out is to politely suggest to her that she go on a decent, not extreme, diet to lose weight over time and to assist the process by doing some exercise.

mtbatoon

What I know about women can be written on a stamp and I'd still have room for the address, but If I think I've learnt anything it's that women see things in the long term, they will act subtly and they will test. Newly wed couple, will he stay with me when my looks are gone? Will he still find me attractive? If I just put on a few more pounds will that make a difference? OK I might be generalising or I might be completely wrong.

Wife's weight problem

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