by dangel 199 Replies latest social relationships
Maybe its insulation; how do you treat her?
I was curvy when I married a manipulative, emotionally abusive, physically demanding man. I ballooned up to nearly 300 pounds. Once I left, the weight came off. I'm lighter now than before I married and in great shape. I had to get out of the situation for that to happen.
Try to think if she's using in subconsiously as protection.
Hi Dangel,
Good luck! There's a million theories and books about the subject. It seems simple, but it's not. It's a complicated issue. All of the posts here are true, but may not be applicable. For instance, I have what's called hyperinsulism or pre-diabetes, recently discovered, and it complicates weight, eating, etc. A lot of people have it. I also work out at the gym regularly and am very fit. Does that help? Not as much as I'd expect!
I don't have any ideas as things work for a while, then quit working. But here're a few truisms:
Welcome to the board.
I liked these:
Ever wonder why single women live longer than married ones, but the married guys live longer than single ones? ---Odrade
I had not yet developed a strong sense of self-worth, and it cut me to the bone. -------Talesin
Now that you have read through all these posts for advice, I have just one comment to make. Maybe it's not her that has the problem.
On second thought, maybe she does.
Annie
Tell her exactly how you feel.
Help her by making a plan with her to watch your diet and exercise together.
DY
I would definently let her know how you feel ,how else is she going to know that it is bothering you to the extent that it is but remember she is still the same person inside that you love and married.
Welcome to this place
Sounds like the issue is more than just weight.
Weight is like facial hair - it grows on you quietly, and before you know it your appearance has changed, but you look the same in the mirror to yourself and usually your nearest and dearest.
Odrade:
If you need to lose 20lb, then I'm a flying Dutchman!
why don't you simply tell her she's fat? women always directly tell you things when they think something's wrong with you... and it should be enough motivation for her to get herself into the gym.
I'm not sure of your age Dangel, but I know that I put on weight in part, to stop men being attracted to me as I found it uncomfortable getting hit on all the time - often by complete strangers. Also I do tend to eat more when I am happy and don't eat at all when I'm miserable.
I knew a girl like this, but she had been molested as a child?
Mrs Right only has to gain ten pounds a year for ten years and you have twice the woman you married!
Are you sure she really likes you? Does she like herself. I travel a lot and America and Australia have some magor big woman. Some ladies, once they get married and have a couple of kids, don't really care about the loser, sperm donor and meal ticket they married.
You see them at the market, Frier Tuck, with her hair all chopped off with her two kiddies and Mr Wimp walking two steps behind with the whipped dog look on his face! You know he gets laid twice a year if he is real good to his "mommy"!
Sure there are a lot of men who go to hell, and a few women who help them get there. That way he won't stray.
Women will give you the polically correct answers and that's fine. But watch what they do, not what they say. Their feet don't lie and if they are running to the frige instead of into your arms...well...
I'm cool with big girls, I'm not cool with fat slobs. It's is not hard to tell the difference. Life leaves clues!
Damn you hit the nail on the head man.
why don't you simply tell her she's fat? women always directly tell you things when they think something's wrong with you... and it should be enough motivation for her to get herself into the gym.
Bingo-bango! But then again if she is bigger than he is, she might feel like she can whoop his ass. I remember seeing this video about this guy married to a fat women. Well, they got into an argument one day and he swung at her and missed- after that she beat him till he was bloody.
Nope, its better to be safe than sorry.
M'
Mecurious - I have no idea if I was molested as a child but I don't think its relevant here.
I'm not sure of your age Dangel, but I know that I put on weight in part, to stop men being attracted to me as I found it uncomfortable getting hit on all the time - often by complete strangers. Also I do tend to eat more when I am happy and don't eat at all when I'm miserable.
I knew a girl like this, but she had been molested as a child?
My reason for allowing some of my weight gain was simply that I found myself embroiled with men every time I went out and I wasn't comfortable with it especially as I was trying to be faithful in my relationship. Therefore I thought if I looked a little less hot and a bit more fullsome I might be able to just enjoy an evening out with less hassle. Another advantage is that I used to find that women automatically hated me and I would be excluded. Now I've put on a bit of weight and am a few years older I'm a lot less of a threat and have far more girlfriends. (Which is very nice)
My question is, what do you consider fat and unattractive? I am hoping to shed at least 40 pounds in the next year as I am not happy with my body and the way I feel--I feel more sluggish and tired. But I consider myself attractive and not a fat slob. What grosses me out is when I see women that are at least 100 pounds overweight, their hair is unkempt, their clothes are ugly, and they pretty much just don't care about the way they look. As for me--especially because I feel fat, I always make sure my nails are done, my hair looks nice, my make-up is on, etc.
