Today....actually, one came to my door with an apology....can you believe it????? They thought I'd been DF'd, and so didn't speak when I saw them a month ago........hahahahahahaha....
Delilah
by minimus 42 Replies latest jw friends
Today....actually, one came to my door with an apology....can you believe it????? They thought I'd been DF'd, and so didn't speak when I saw them a month ago........hahahahahahaha....
Delilah
I opened the door to a sandwich shop yesterday and bumped into an elder I served with in the last congo I attended. Background: I resigned as an elder two years ago and began to fade; we haven't been to a meeting in 18-20 months.
I have an operating philosophy for when I meet dubs. I got it from a poster on this forum: "Be gracious but grant no interviews."
So I was gracious. I called his name, smiled, shook hands and told him he looked terrific, and asked if he'd lost weight (he had). I could see the wheels turning behind his eyes as he processed my status. He took a step back, looked around, and pointed towards an empty table and said, "I've got to find a seat." Then he walked over and sat in a chair that conveniently had its back to me.
That's when I realized the line to order lunch was a mile long. If I turned around and went someplace else -- which is what I'd have done if he hadn't been there -- he might think I was running away. But I wasn't going to stand there for 10 minutes while he sat and composed whatever he thought he should say to me and I didn't want to pretend that he wasn't sitting five feet away. I turned and opened the door, paused, and looked over at him. He was looking at me and I gestured towards the line with my thumb and said, "This line's waaaay too long. See ya later." He nodded.
Leaving, I realized I'd been gracious and granted no interview. As a result, a potential confrontation was diffused and I maintained the upper hand. I overwhelmed him with kindess and gave him no opportunity to button-hole me. I felt good about it.
It just defined for me, once again, how valuable the give and take on this forum can be for faders and other escapees. I had absolutely no fear of the guy. He has no power over me.
Last time I was in my hometown visiting some family I ran into an elder or he spotted me and called out my name as I was leaving a department store. He said that it had been a long time since he had seen me and where have I been, etc. I told him I moved and only come to visit friends and family once in a while when I can get away; and then he told me that tomorrow (which was Sunday) bro so and so from such and such cong was giving a talk tomorrow and I need to come out and see "the friends", that they miss me, etc. This was the elder who "brought me into the truth" 20 years ago. I just played long and was friendly and said bye, good seeing ya, etc. and left. It has been about 7 or 8 years since I had been to a meeting that I can remember.