by Englishman 78 Replies latest jw friends
Invariably I have found these guys to see their actions as bit of fun that lads do but if their wife so much as looks at a movie star with a hint of lust they lose the plot.
So the thrill is doing something they deep down see as wrong and getting away with it.
It's an addiction.
These people(not just men) are emotionally disconnected.
Kinda friend you want??
I agree with Ohiocowboy...if his wife doesn't mind, than it wouldn't bother me too much.
I don't have a problem with prostitution per se...I think it should be legal. But I do have a problem with people cheating on each other...I don't think it is right.
Regarding what sonnyboy said...that is a good point. I wouldn't be hanging out with the guy if I thought he was on the prowl. May end up getting you in a situation you don't want to be in.
If people want an open marriage and visiting a hooker is part of it...well, good for them. But its not fair to the spouse that got married thinking his/her spouse is going to be faithful too.
If it were me, and this guy was actually cheating on his wife, I personally wouldn't want to be around him anymore than necessary. That's just me...I see it as dishonesty, a major character flaw.
The difficulty with ending a friendship because of our judgement on issues such as this one, is that once we start to do this, where does it end?
If we are vegetarians, will we not mix with meat eaters because we disapprove of animals being killed for them? Perhaps we then don’t want to mix with smokers or people who are sexually liberated.
Often Christians flock together and have no friends outside of their mind set. Then the non believers often can’t tolerate their piety and avoid the Christians as well.
The next thing we are joining the Jehovah’s Witnesses again so we can be comfortable with people who feel exactly the same as us.
I think your doing the right thing, not that my story is not the same but my best friend started having an affair with a married man with kids, i hated it being a married woman with a child myself i felt so sorry for the wife, even if she wasnt the best of partners she didnt deserve that. So after a few years of having to pick up the pieces i just told my friend its time to move on...i have never felt sorry bout that decision i couldnt handle it anymore You dont need friends like that in your life es
There's a difference between using a prostitute and being unfaithful.
Being unfaithful is bad. Using a prostitute might be totally morally neutral..
However, although one has to conceed that if someone wants to sell their coochie, then they can sell their coochie as it is, after all, their coochie, one also has to conceed that the sex services 'industry' tends to be male-dominated and misogynistic, if not down right abusive towards the women in it.
I don't think that wanting to pay a woman (or man) to have sex with you is in itself wrong, it's just that very often you are perpetrating a social wrong by doing so.
It is not normally an industry where a woman can earn silly money for a little work and pay her way into a decent education and job. They are the 'poster girls' of the profession. Typically however it is women who have cannot support themselves any other way, and/or who are being used by others to make money out of all proportion with what the woman herself gets.
I'd feel really sick with this guy and his wife visiting me and him acting like a good husband.
Pole
A lot of the comments on this thread revolve around the idea that a woman who is a prostitute is being misused and somehow abused.
So to define the issue raised here let me ask another question of those who would end a friendship over this issue. There is a thread running at the moment that asks whether we would have a gay person as a friend. Most people say they would.
Suppose your gay friend, who was in a steady relationship, told you he occasionally visited male prostitutes. Would you feel the need to end your friendship with him?
If you find you do not enjoy his company and do not have things in common it is no point pursuing the friendship. But I do not think it is necessary to judge what others do, that is like being a Witness.
trevor
Suppose your ;gay friend, who was in a steady relationship, told you he occasionally visited male prostitutes. Would you feel the need to end your friendship with him?
Like I said, "I don't think that wanting to pay a woman (or man) to have sex with you is in itself wrong, it's just that very often you are perpetrating a social wrong by doing so".
In the scenario you paint, I assume that the person visitjng prostitutes is concealing this from their partner, which is obviously bad.
Paying money for sex and being faithful are different subjects.
It someone was preying on rent boys in Piccadilly, I'd not respect them for it even if they did it with their partner.
If they went to a professional manwhore who knew what they were doing and were truely 'professional', I don't think I'd care that much unless they were cheating on their partner.
A lot of the comments on this thread revolve around the idea that a woman who is a prostitute is being misused and somehow abused.
No, most of the comments revolve around the fact of whether the wife knows or not. If she knows, then consensus seems to be we are not bothered (after all she is not). But if she doesnt know, she is being deceived royally, and would be devastated if she found out. I assume she doesnt know, because HONESTLY I dont know any women who would be happy with their partner visiting a prossie. Swinging, wife swapping, open marriage - maybe - but going to a potentially disease riddled anonymous seller of sex - no.
The difficulty with ending a friendship because of our judgement on issues such as this one, is that once we start to do this, where does it end?
Get real. We ALL have tolerances. We would all draw the line somewhere - friends with someone who has never worked but scrounges off friends permanently? friendship with an armed robber? friends with someone who never wahses their body? friendship with the owner of a sweat shop in Thailand? friendship with a person with AIDS who was deliberately having unprotected sex with people for revenge? The "Where does it end" arguement is not strong enough to mean that we HAVE to be friends with ANYONE.
We cannot always justify where we draw the line, but we ALL have a line where we would choose not to be friends with someone. We cannot decide that someone elses line is wrong. Its a personal issue.
