Could You Stay Friends With Someone Who Visited Prostitutes? (page 6)

trevor

Katie Kitten You have quoted me accurately so you will be aware that I did not say ‘most comments but 'a lot of comments.’

I have given your comments some thoughts in an attempt to ‘get real,’ but I think you are allowing your personal feelings to confuse the principle being discussed.

We are very quick to criticise Jehovah’s Witnesses for ending friendships with people who have done something bad in their eyes. The question is at what point do we end friendships because we have made a judgement on a friends conduct. How conditional are our friendships are? Obviously there are extreme types of behaviour that none will tolerate.

The question this thread asks is specific and leaves room for the possibility that the prostitute could be male. Hence my question. The answer will be different for everyone but at least we have the freedom to decide for ourselves, which is more that a Jehovah’s Witnesses does.

I have no agenda to push here and have enjoyed reading your thoughts and those of others. I have been in the situation asked by this thread and not end the friendships. In every case it turned out to have been the right decision.

katiekitten

We are very quick to criticise Jehovah’s Witnesses for ending friendships with people who have done something bad in their eyes

Yes you are right Trev. I personally hate the fact that dubs have such a low tolerance of other peoples behaviour. It has caused so much damage, and it is administered so systematically and clinically. Its barbaric.

I guess I still have a line, but I justify it to myself as being more liberal than the dub line.

Their line is 'we wont be friends with you if you hold hands before getting engaged'. My line is 'I dont wanna be your buddy if you are screwing prossies and your wife doesnt know'.

I cant justify my line as being any better than the dub line, other than the fact that it is a tad more tolerant, and I wouldnt totally cut off the person, I just wouldnt be happy sharing an evening with him/her.

All i know is, I still have a line. and i have done some shitty things that would cross other peoples line, and I wouldnt blame them if they didnt want to play out with me if knew what I had done. But I still have my line. Even criminals have a criminal code.

trevor

Katie Kitten

i have done some shitty things that would cross other peoples line,

I am a broad minded adult, so - perhaps if you were to share these revelations I would be able to understand you better. You could view it as therapy. It will be good for you and I promise we will stay friends.

By the way this thread is open to everybody so please don’t be shy!

Mecurious?

I have a gay friend (we have been friend from childhood) he visited a male prostitute in

katiekitten

Thanks, but if I confess my shitty things it will look like I am fishing for forgiveness. There are only certain people that can forgive me for the shit I have done, and they dont know what I have done, and im not about to shatter their world by spilling the beans.

At the moment I have found a level where I can live with what I have done. Its not open for public debate. I need no therapy.

Just be content to know im not such a nice person as Id like to project I am. I like to tell myself it was several years ago, and I wouldnt do it again, and live moves on.

Mecurious?

I have a gay friend (we have been friend from childhood) he visited a male prostitute in New Orleans and contracted aids! I never once stood in judgment of him; I don't think it's my job to do that.
Although it’s something that I wouldn't do, I try not to judge other people.

So, no, I would not end a relationship with him or any friend that visits hookers.
M'

Mecurious?

Personally, I don't see any difference between judging whether someone visits prostitutes vs. judging someone based on their sexual preference, cuz, allot of times the principles that we hold dear for ourselves vs. others are contradictory anyway! People sometimes have habits (addictions) that are very secretive and they are able to hide them very well.

Would Englishman feel better if this man were cheating with one woman vs. many hookers?

How would he feel about someone addicted to drugs or a chronic gambler?

How about someone who cheats on their taxes?

I guess the list could go on and on ad nauseam.

Yea, I know were talking about a person cheating on their spouse but I digress...

M'

FlyingHighNow

then they can sell their coochie as it is, after all, their coochie,

I always think of it as they are renting it out.

Fellows, in very few cases is prostitution glamorous and fun and often it is NOT a choice for the prostitute. I read recently about prostitution in our city. The article pointed that people who do this for years rarely live long lives, they die fairly young.

I can understand that your friend is making you uncomfortable, Mike. If my friend was doing that, I'd tell him how I felt and I'd have to find a way for the wife to find out about it. She needs to know for her own health's sake. I think it's better though, if she catches him herself. Sometimes you can be clever and figure out a way to set that up, with no one knowing you set the trap.

Tigerman

Flying . . .You want to set a trap that may result in the ruination of this husband's and wife's ( and kids if there are any) lives?

anewme

With all the STDs out there today I dont believe there is a prostitute who is disease free. I looked up the center for disease control and did research on the STDs out there and they are all quite contractable and unavoidable and all bring a little heartache of one kind or another along with them.

Now if a man feels no remorse about seeing prostitutes behind his wifes back, maybe he'd think nothing of seeing your wife behind your back.

It comes down to a lack of respect for the marriage arrangement. Marriage is mans oldest sacred ceremony.

Many of us have left the JWs and we are re-evaluating all values.

You make your own rules now. If I dont like or want to associate with someone for this reason or that I dont have to because I dont want to.

Conversely if I want to associate with someone who the witnesses say I should not, what is that to me?

We all can decide for ourselves who and what repulses us and who and what doesnt.......who corrects us now?

Could You Stay Friends With Someone Who Visited Prostitutes?

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