No, ya Gumbuster. I'm just tryin to lighten the board from all that heavy trollin' goin' on. I needed a huge dose of humor, m' man.
Post Your Jokes Here Thread............
by Frannie Banannie 103 Replies latest social humour
-
-
Frannie Banannie
Subject: Forgiven Your Enemies?
Attending church one Sunday, the minister was giving a sermon on
forgiving your enemies.
Toward the end of the service, the Minister asked, "How many of you
have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time,
except one small elderly lady.
"Mrs.. Jones? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies? "
"I don't have any." She replied, smiling sweetly.
"Mrs.. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight." she replied.
"Oh, Mrs.. Jones, would you please come down in front & tell us all
howa person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the
world?"
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the
congregation, and said: "I outlived the bitches."
-
Frannie Banannie
I was feeling a little nosey, so I thought I would look in on you and see if you are sitting at your computer.... Yup, there you are!
Have a Great Day! -
Frannie Banannie
MY CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT IN 2008
Here we are already discussing the future President of the United States in the Year 2008. Well, I have my own candidate and I'm sure that once you know who I'm for, you will also agree.
It is probably time we have a woman as President. My choice, and I hope yours as well, is a very special Lady that has all the answers to our problems.
PLEASE give it a thought when you have a moment.... Maxine on "Driver Safety" "I can't use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures."....... Maxine on "Housework" "I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible." Maxine on "Lawn Care" "The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless." Maxine on "The Perfect Man" "All I'm looking for is a guy who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed." Maxine on "Technology Revolution" "My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice." Maxine on "Aging" "Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a Margarita." ~~~~~ Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it. If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet. The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos? Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than a Kia. Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching somewhere, you may be dead. If you don't forward this to ten of your friends within the next five minutes, your belly button will fall off.Really... it's true! Have I ever lied to you?
"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."
- Ronald Reagan -